Why doesn't your husband take him while you get some time out alone.
Its hard taking care of children, and I too get stress sometimes that this is all I do, take care of them, clean, cook and did I mention clean..seems like that is all I do. But at the same time I love them and I know this is what I signed up for. I would hate to look back and think that I didn't do enough with them.
I do think that it is important for you to get out on your own and you and your husband together.
Just find one good babysitter, then you don't have to agree on who. set things up your self. call ahead of time to the sitter and then its set up and he doesn't have to think about it.
Have you talked to your husband about how you feel. That would be important.
Have you thought about pre-school when your son turns 2. usually they have programs 2 or 3 days a week part days or full, might give you that time you need to unwine. and gets his engery out too.
Do you have family that you trust that you could set a schedule with.
I am soory I don't have a set thing that will help you but I hope something does.
best of luck to you.
Discussion Topic
Angry and Alone
Posted on 06/24/09, 04:42 am
My name is Kris and I have a son who is 21 months old and I find myself getting so angry sometimes when I am with my son he's very active and I'm usually the one who has to take care of him but there are times that I want to go out with my husband or friends and I feel resentful that my husband goes out with his friends while I'm at home with our son. I try to suggest a babysitter but we can't argree on one so we just stay in. I feel like I am a single parent sometimes because we dont all live with each other and the burden of caring for my son falls on me even when we spend every single weekend with him from friday to monday. i just dont want to feel this way anymore I have even enrolled in school just to be around people. I feel like a horrible mother for not wanting to be around my son all the time but it just drives me crazy chasing him all day. I dont't know what else i can do.
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Reply #1 06/26/09 2:28pm
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Reply #2 07/09/09 8:35am
Reading your post was like looking at my life. I have 2 kids, my 11 yr old is from my first marriage so he goes to his dads house 3 days a week. My 4 yr old daughter is with my husband. I've always been the one to tend to the kids and the house, but sometimes I just want my husband to cook or take them to the park so I can read a book or soak in the tub. It took me a long time to tell him I needed that, but once I did, boy did it make a differance. Now once a month I have girls night with a couple friends. We take turns hosting it at eachothers home and we each bring a dish and the husbands take the kids and they go to someones house and hangout. Once a week my husband takes the kids to the park or to visit a friend and I get to soak in the tub and read. Just tell your husband you need time to yourself at least once a week to start. Set up date night for the two of you for once a month to go see a movie and have dinner. My husband and I do lunch and a movie because its cheaper.
Good luck. I hope it works out for you. -
Reply #3 09/15/09 9:17pm
I know where you're coming from. I havent been alone with my husband since i was in labor with my 2 year old. The only time i've been without the kiddies was twice this summer for funerals. I log on a lot here if you need someone to talk to. Best of luck! -
Reply #4 11/14/09 1:17pm
This was posted a few months ago, but I don't think topics like this ever become irrelevant! I think part of the problem is that as SAHMs, we allow our husbands to be lulled into a sense of complacency. I don't know about anyone else, but since my husband works and I stay home with our daughter, I've pretty much made it my "job" to always take care of things around the house and be the primary caregiver to my daughter, even when my husband's home. When I worked (before she was born), it wasn't like that, my hubby actually did half the cleaning--I had to ask him to do it, but no one's perfect! :)
So maybe your husband does these things because he just assumes that you don't mind taking care of everything. I don't know where they get this idea--would they like having a job that required them to be actively working 24 hours a day?? I think you need to have a long chat with him. It might change things for a while, but then don't be surprised if you have to "gently" remind him from time to time! As far as the babysitter, I agree with a previous poster--why not just pick out a babysitter yourself? It sounds like you're in charge of everything else, so why should he have to agree with your choice? haha Having "you" time is very important too. Do you have any friends who stay home with their kids? Maybe you could work out an exchange, where you drop your son off one day to go have a spa day, and then you watch their kids while they run errands or something. Or just leave your son at home with your husband and go out with your friends one night a month. If you make it a regular thing, he can't say that he didn't know about it.
The bottom line is that if you don't say something now, you're just going to resent him (and your son) more and more. -
Reply #5 11/26/09 6:22am
I can totally relate as also have 21 month old who I seem to be expected to always be on call for while my husband expects to do what he wants at a drop of a hat. It makes me incredibly angry especially at night where I am the one expected to get up and my husband gets a good nights sleep. I have told him he just views me as a babysitter and it causes lots of arguments where I tend to explode into rage.
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