robynlouise

Hoping to find friends which will become close lifelong friends.

Posted on 08/21/09, 09:12 pm

Hey I'm very new to DS, but I've suffered depression for many years. I'm currently getting counselling which is slowly helping. I've been through so much from being attacked by my own mother for no reason, forced in a flat for 3 months, my best friend who was my last close childhood friend..passing away, and then being rushed to hospital with pain in my chest only to find out I was suffering from an over acrive thyroid...which now thank god after 2 years of treatment is all clear. But everyday since I have been going through severe depression and anxiety. I get on the train and run away to different town for days, I think of suicide, I come quite close sometimes, I cry so much my eyes go red raw, I have panic attacks, I feel like a failure, my own family bully me and make me feel so small. And to top it all of I have no friends. I go everywhere on my own, and I don't go out unless I have to. I'm unemployed too and that's a huge strain. What I'm hoping to find are new friends, people who I will become really close to, who spend time with me, hanging out, having a laugh, going to rock gigs, theme parks, cinema, socialising, learning about eachother along the way. I just want someone I will connect with and can call a true close friend. I feel so lonely it's unreal and I know I may sound desparate but it's just because I can't take being alone anymore. It's so emotional and I just know if I find that friend, I will be a happier person. I've felt like this ever since my best friend passed away from a bloodclot in the brain only 5 weeks after giving birth for the 1st time to a baby boy. I hope there is someone out there who feels the same way as me. Thank you for reading if you have. x

• Reply #1 08/23/09  8:53pm
  
  steve1974
  Hi Robyn,
  
  I'm really sorry to read all you've been through in the last few years. That's terrible that your own family bully you. I've been fortunate that my family has supported me but I know what it's like to be without friends. I only have one regular friend I see and sometimes he is really hard to have around because he can be quite stubborn and sensitive mostly to his own feelings.
  
  I can totally relate to your feelings of loneliness and desperation. Last week I had a really bad depression attack and felt like I didn't want to live anymore. I often get those feelings if I feel really lonely or that people don't want to know me.
  
  Sorry to hear about your best friend. My best friend died three and a half years ago and I've never really felt the same since. You sound a very kind, good and interesting person from your profile and deserving of good friends. I hope you meet some good people here and if you want to write to me about anything, I'll be happy to hear from you.
• Reply #2 08/23/09  10:12pm
  
  robynlouise
  Thank you so much for replying. I honestly didn't think anyone would. I'm lost for words that someone understands me. Thank you so much :)
  xxx I will add you as a friend If ok. I will write to you soon thanks again xxx
• Reply #3 10/21/09  7:52am
  
  sdebbur
  Hi your story touched me. I am very alone/lonely to sometimes my family and I have never really conected, found I had to survive on the outskirts of the family.I BASICALLY was more or less forgotten.I maynot be the friend your after , but I WOULD LIKE TO write . Iam new to DS 2 but feel right at home. Im really sorry for your losses, and like each one of us we all need a chance to shine.
• Reply #4 11/06/09  4:53pm
  
  jlid
  Hi Robyn, I just joined today and I am reading some discussions and thought I'd respond. I am shy and have social anxiety and have a hard time making and maintaining friendships which is why I'm trying on this site. I was saddened to hear of your friend's death, I can't even imagine. Hope you are doing alright, drop me a line sometime if you like...

Hello, I'm Gen82 and suffer from social anxiety (SAD). I noticed there wasn't any group that specifically addressed this disorder at the time so I started my own. Social Anxiety is a term used to describe an experience of anxiety (emotional discomfort, fear, apprehension or worry) regarding social situations and being negatively evaluated by other people. Be kind & considerate to all members & support each other. Please join us, you don't have to feel alone anymore!