Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder, 2nd Edition by Richard Moskovitz

The following review was written by the web-owner of "Borderline Personality Disorder Today" and copied here from Amazon.com. I completely agree with this review, and wish that I could have written it as well.

Finally I got a copy of Dr. Moskovitz's book "Lost in the Mirror," I sat down and cried shortly into the first chapter. It was the very first time that someone understood me and not only that, it was as if the author had his arm around me through the entire book.
Lost in the Mirror is so beautifully and gently written and it was also the first time that I realized that I was not miserable because I was a bad person which is what I had always thought.

The magic of "Lost in the Mirror" is the mixture of the tremendous clinical experience and knowledge the author has (he is up to date with the research), with his very gentle, warm and caring personality.

I have heard from many family members how helpful this book has been for them.

Dr. Moskovitz brings you right up to date with his second edition in regards to treatment. He discusses the latest about psychotropic medication, EMDR and DBT.

It is important to know that the BPD is treatable and that you can get better.

This topic also has listed a number of recommended books:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/bpd-support-borderline-personality-disorder/discussions/messages/4166777

"The High-Conflict Couple - A Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation" by Alan E. Fruzzetti, PhD.

This seems like a great book. Unfortunately we bought it too late to help us, and she declined to read it in the last month, so I don't even know if she would have liked it. Three-fourths of the books about BPD/EID that we started reading together never got finished because she would suddenly hate everything about any book if there was anything in it with which she couldn't agree.

This book reads like an introduction to developing and maintaining diplomatic relations with an alien species from another planet, which is good, because many of the things most people expect from others are not part of the EID repertoire. Calming oneself after an upset is top priority for most people, but for someone with EID the focus is on finding a way to avoid the conditions that caused the upset, examining the events in a furious and generally futile hope of being able to see the next one coming. I think it would be more beneficial if the EID partner were already having DBT therapy, because many of the concepts introduced are subtle enough to require expert explanation. Chapters 7,8 and 9 total in length 45 pages on the topic of Validating communications, are very informative, but many other equally difficult concepts get relatively short shrift. Only two pages are provided for the topic of managing destructive urges, for example.

This one might apply to some of us (not pointing any fingers here).

from http://www.bpdfamily.com/book_review/joan_lachkar.htm:

The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple
A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment
by Joan Lachkar, PhD

Summary: Joan Lachkar, Ph.D, defines the narcissistic/borderline couple as "individuals who, when they are together, form a shared couple myth that gives rise to many collective fantasies". Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic partners form a parasitic bond characterized by their painful, circular patterns of behavior.

Here is an exerpt from a review on Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Narcissistic-Borderline-Couple-Approaches-Marital/dp/0415934710):

In Lachkar's view, depressive narcissists usually "hook up" with personality types ranging from the (co-dependent) caretaker, to the borderline, to the histrionic.

Lachkar proposed that within narcissistic-borderline relationships there exists two developmentally stymied and arrested people who seduce, entice, or coerce one another into playing out certain roles, as they bring the past into the present, and play out their archaic experiences. Lachkar believes that due to the borderline's false self and compliant, chameleon-like personality, for a short time he or she is able to play-act at being the perfect mirroring object for the narcissist, but this role rapidly deteriorates. In any ongoing relationship drama between them, the narcissist requires a borderline to worship him or her and to fuel his or her insecure yet nascent self, and the borderline requires a narcissist in order to be constantly mirrored.


IMO This review isn't really too clear about who all mirrors who here, and runs on even longer to gratuitously review her current book, "How to Talk to a Narcissist. " Both sound interesting.

I just started reading "Understanding the Borderline Mother". This book is an absolute must for anyone with a borderline parent..... it is like having one of those conversations with someone you just met that goes on for hours and you keep saying "I know exactly what you mean!!". It has been so profoundly enlightening that as soon as I am done with my library copy I AM going to spend the $40 to get my own copy.

The second day of reading I got to the part about the different types of Borderlines and had flashbacks and a panic attack that was so bad it set off an asthma attack that almost put me in the ER..... I spent the money and got my own copy so am reading it again, more slowly and highlighting a filling the margins with notes... This book is difficult to read but is still a must for healing..... I am torn to pieces and very excited at the same time.... I feel like I am hitting that wall that has to crash down around you before you can really make any progress towards health... it is very frightening and very hard but this book is my sledge hammer... no more bloodying my fists banging on the wall.

TARA (Treatment And Research Advancements) has a list of recommended reading here:

http://www.tara4bpd.org/dyn//index2.php?option=content&do_pdf=1&id=59

The site is probably run by Valerie Porr and strongly plugs her book:

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change
by Valerie Porr

The reviews are generally very favorable, but I haven't read the book.

"Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder" by Shari Y. Manning, Ph.D.

This is a newer book, published in 2011. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but it seems to have the right stuff. The author reportedly worked with Marsha Linehan (who wrote the forward for this book) for many years.

Here is a five-star review from the Barnes & Noble website:

"This book was awesome! I actually used this in the reverse to self-diagnose, which I then had verified with a clinical psychologist via testing. It answered a lot of questions for me, and helped me to explain to my loved ones about past incidents and behaviors. I also learned how to communicate with others better and when to recognize symptoms of situations that would become toxic for me."

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/loving-someone-with-borderline-personality-disorder-shari-y-manning/1100054128?ean=9781606234860#product-commentaries-1

thanks! that'll be next on my list.

This came to my attention today .... well reviewed and looks good.

"Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder" by Rachael Ryland


http://www.amazon.com/Get-Out-Here-Borderline-Personality/dp/1592850995/ref=cm_cr-mr-title