My thoughts are that you should still go to the standing President. It creates an action on your part a paper trail...even if you are not expecting that she can do anything. Once you've at least spoken to her also do so in writing. It just documents your action and that you have alerted someone above him.
Also after you have contacted her and documented each incident with time and date ect...it's going to give you a feeling of control. You could after wards actually say to him that you are uncomfortable with being touched like that at work.
This is unwanted contact. I think he's counting on you starting to question if it's just "innocent kindness" . It's unwanted on your part, I think he must know that because he tries to get you into certain places and you keep saying how about not. He's a CEO and he shouldn't be rubbing your arm it's just not right ... maybe he was testing the waters to see if you would go out with him the answer from you has clearly been no interest. Continued touching like that is wrong.
But document it all
Discussion Topic
Sexual harrasment, I need advice
Posted on 10/31/09, 10:15 am
My boss has been coming on to me and I don't know what to about it. He is the CEO & Board Chairman for my company - he signs my checks. At first I thought his hand and shoulder touching was innocent. Then I realized he was only touching me. He now comes up behind me at my desk and rubs my neck. I work in an open space with another woman and he has never done this in front of her. I extricate myself the situation by feigning a need to go to do something else - anything else.
Two weeks ago I had to run out to the post office to send some international letters out on his behalf. His assistant who shares my space was out for a few days. When I came back he asked how much it cost. I told him to forget it, I would add it to my expense report. He was very insistent that he pay me back. I really didn't want to get that close to him so I again said I would expense it. That didn't fly. He wound up coming over to me and telling me that wasn't good enough - how doesn't like to owe people. Then he says that he can either pay me back OR he can take me out for lunch. WTF??? I told him that I really thought it best he pay me back. So I took his $3 and though that would be the end of it.
Not so.
This week he needed my help on his computer on 3 separate occasions. All of them total bullshit. He has an L-shaped desk that has the opening on the left, the mouse is on the right. This requires me to lean across him. I asked him to let me use the chair and he said NO! He wanted to see how I was attaching a document to an email (total fucking bullshit). So I am leaning across this prick for 3-4 minutes talking him through this very simple process - twice.
The other 2 times were equally inane AND his assistant was available to ASSIST him. ON both occasions I tried to get him to move out of the way and both times he had excuses as to why he needed to stay put. The last time when I stood back up he started rubbing my arm. Besides being to skeeved out by this smarmy fucker - I was angry and very afraid that I was going to hit him.
My company - a national company was sold last year. The new owners then broke apart regions and sold them off. Once we became an independent company we lost most of our benefits and there is no longer a human resources department. There are about 55 employees and any very few HR issues. The ones that have come up have been handled on an individual basis by the president and CEO.
I can not go to the president because frankly she has lost whatever pull she had. We anticipate she will be gone by the first of the year. I don't know what to do. I NEED this job - there are no two ways about that. My industry has dwindled and new jobs are very scarce.
I feel that there is no recourse - I should basically dodge him as much as possible. There are no witnesses and how seriously would my claim of harassment be taken? I was a rape victim, it could play out that I am overly sensitive to his innocent kindness.
Any thoughts?
Two weeks ago I had to run out to the post office to send some international letters out on his behalf. His assistant who shares my space was out for a few days. When I came back he asked how much it cost. I told him to forget it, I would add it to my expense report. He was very insistent that he pay me back. I really didn't want to get that close to him so I again said I would expense it. That didn't fly. He wound up coming over to me and telling me that wasn't good enough - how doesn't like to owe people. Then he says that he can either pay me back OR he can take me out for lunch. WTF??? I told him that I really thought it best he pay me back. So I took his $3 and though that would be the end of it.
Not so.
This week he needed my help on his computer on 3 separate occasions. All of them total bullshit. He has an L-shaped desk that has the opening on the left, the mouse is on the right. This requires me to lean across him. I asked him to let me use the chair and he said NO! He wanted to see how I was attaching a document to an email (total fucking bullshit). So I am leaning across this prick for 3-4 minutes talking him through this very simple process - twice.
The other 2 times were equally inane AND his assistant was available to ASSIST him. ON both occasions I tried to get him to move out of the way and both times he had excuses as to why he needed to stay put. The last time when I stood back up he started rubbing my arm. Besides being to skeeved out by this smarmy fucker - I was angry and very afraid that I was going to hit him.
My company - a national company was sold last year. The new owners then broke apart regions and sold them off. Once we became an independent company we lost most of our benefits and there is no longer a human resources department. There are about 55 employees and any very few HR issues. The ones that have come up have been handled on an individual basis by the president and CEO.
I can not go to the president because frankly she has lost whatever pull she had. We anticipate she will be gone by the first of the year. I don't know what to do. I NEED this job - there are no two ways about that. My industry has dwindled and new jobs are very scarce.
I feel that there is no recourse - I should basically dodge him as much as possible. There are no witnesses and how seriously would my claim of harassment be taken? I was a rape victim, it could play out that I am overly sensitive to his innocent kindness.
Any thoughts?
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Reply #1 10/31/09 11:02am
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Reply #2 10/31/09 11:47am
Look up your companies policies and procedures. If there is none, then try to research similar companies p&p's. I would follow them and document, document, document!!! Tell another employee you trust (maybe his assistant has had similar experiences) so there is a trail. By doing things by the book, you will be more likely to get results you want if you need to go to the president (idealy). Some companies have a policy that encourages you to tell the person directly first to back off. This might be a good idea for you if you think you can pull it off professionally and without triggering yoruself. Maybe a simple "I know what yoru doing and I want you to stop" will scare him off... Good luck to you, you shouldnt have to put up with that to ensure your job. -
Reply #3 10/31/09 12:22pm
The current company doesn't have any P & P. It has changed hands 2x between November 2008 and January 2009. His assistant knows - I have told her but she has only seen him touching me in a manner that could be deemed innocent. Its not. He is a very "my way or highway" kind of guy. In NJ you can terminate or quit employment without giving a reason. I am good at my job but am terrified that will happen if I confront him. I will talk to the president and see what she says. -
Reply #4 10/31/09 12:27pm
Don't go til you have proof..then take it to the president of the company. (You might also want to consult an attorney..free consult mind you..once you have the documentation and evidence to support your charges) .
In any event if this guy is not likely going to quit and you shouldn't be the one worried about losing your job..he should . Not sure where his status in the big picture of this national company is..but unless he is the top dog...there should be someone to report this to, but I wouldnt' do it until you have enought evidence otherwise, he will play it off like guys like him always do...they're assholes. And unlikely to change from something you say to him...he needs a kick in the ass from up above. Hopefully they will cut him loose, rather than risk any look of acceptance of this kind of thing by their business. Good Luck
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Reply #5 10/31/09 2:06pm
I don't think "proof" is necessary with sexual harassment other than documenting what he does and says. That's a sure sign of harassment if you are feeling your job is in jeopardy if you say anything. -
Reply #6 10/31/09 2:07pm
Oh you could ask him for a copy of the company policy on sexual harassment. That'll give him a clue! -
Reply #7 10/31/09 5:31pm
Yea!!! That certainly would wouldn't it?? Might give him a subtle hint
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Reply #8 10/31/09 9:59pm
Any thoughts? Cha-ching!! He is about to sign a really huge check for ya, if you lawyer up! You could OWN that company, and never have to 'need' a job again!!!
I am only half joking. Get a lawyer. Seriously. -
Reply #9 11/01/09 12:57pm
Sounds like a difficult situation, I sympathise.
I agree with Catroot, start keeping a date/time record of any "episodes", and like Starbuck has said find a good lawyer!
I'm sure that right now you just want to get on with your job in peace and quiet, and avoid any trouble - but I think if nothing else you should at least get some advice and find out exactly what your rights would be. I suspect this guy is counting on you not wanting to make trouble, which is why he thinks he can get away with this behaviour.
(Incidentally, I once got fired from a job because I tried just using 'evasion' tactics with a lecherous boss, having my boyfriend come to pick me up after work, etc - you might need to play things a bit smarter than I did!)
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