Origin of this study
Posted by MtianExplorer - 04/09/08, 08:04 am
Posted on 03/25/08, 11:53 am hi all... i thought of initiating the formation of this group based on a study i had begun on March 3rd 2008 as elaborated in my journal entry at:
http://dailystrength.org/people/119579/journal/883359i had also posted some similar msgs in some support groups and have communicated with some people through private msgs... some people have also written to me privately... i thought now of creating this group to further enhance this study......
Posted on 03/25/08, 11:47 pm ...To further elaborate on my reasons for conducting this proposed study, i thought of sharing an extract from my previous journal entry of March 8th 2008 as follows:
"I have previously explained that experiences which led me to wonder about possibly receiving certain messages from God, occurred to me in early 1991 when I was almost 24 years old. I was described by my psychiatrist in his reports, to have had episodes which were floridely psychotic, before and some time after my hospitalisation as from the 27th March 1991. Heavy doses of medication initially had to be administrated to me until the nature of my illness could be tentatively diagnosed. In 1992, my psychiatrist felt pretty much settled with his diagnosis of my illness and a more stabilised treatment began to be administered to me in the U.S.A. Relapses needing further hospitalisation occured a few times again between 1991 and 1994. I returned to my homeland for good in early 1993 and my last hospitalisation for this illness dates back to September 1994. Thereafter my treatment has proceeded further but as an outpatient and at a moreless maitainance level. The reason I mention all this is because I would like my proposed analysis to be viewed in light of this experience and medical history, because there have been instances when I have mentioned to certain people my occasional thought and feeling of possibly being or being meant to be a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet, etc."
...Posted on 03/29/08, 12:10 am to further elaborate on the origin of this proposed study... i wish to further share something i just found while further searching through my previous journal entries... it was written on February 20th 2008... and i find it relevant in having contributed to lead to this proposed study:
"i feel somewhat confused for the time being... and there has been a certain amount of anxiety rising up within me recently... i have sent some msgs to some selected friends concerning this... i was mentioning that i seem to have to tread a somewhat lonely path for some time at least and in some respects at least... there seems to be certain things i have need to review about myself... i feel a little bit de-stabilised at present... i feel shaken up in some respects at least with respect to my faith... i do not know from where i can possibly be helped in this matter... i do not know which people can serve as guide for me in this matter... i know that what i am writing may seem somewhat mysterious... this element of mystery seems at times to be a helpful way to call the help i may need onto myself... i seem to need to tread a path of caution to some extent at least... i can only hope that things will get better soon... it is difficult for me to try and express the nature of my fear... because this fear doesn't seem to be one of worldly nature... it seems that society in general seems to act as a source of punishment for us at times... direct or indirect criticisms of others seem to act as sources of persecution on us at times... and then... there are the contradictions we begin to find in ourselves... our deeds do not seem to be in line with the beliefs we seem to have adhered to... and certain things seem to have to be reviewed in certain respects at least... there seems to be matters which we fear to probe into too closely... because of the disturbance they may provoke within us... in any case... i think i should leave it at that for the time being... sorry again for being possibly somewhat mysterious... pls take care... peace and blessings..."
On February 23rd 2008 i further wrote:
"if your thinking system is based on false premises, and you continue pursuing the further development of that thinking system, there comes a point when your thinking system reaches a point when contradictions begin to become apparent in it. You begin to find cracks within your thinking system, etc. Certain parts of the system begins to crumble down or to collapse onto themselves. Certain aspects of the system begins ceasing to function. Other parts of it gets rejuvenated. Roles that were previously defined but which had remained dormant somewhat, begin to come to life and to be in operation once more.
People who assume certain functions within a system are not always aware of all the rules and regulations of the system right from the start. There may be times when at least some of these rules and regulations may be forgotten as well. There may also be times and situations where the spirit of these rules and regulations may need to be given more importance than the applications of the rules and regulations themselves. Amendments may need to be made at times, to be better able to cope with situations which seem to be apparently new, in some respects at least. Temporary measures may have to be taken at times. In all this, it seems that a balance between the form and the spirit is to be sought.
There are times when we may need to get back to the basics. This process may sometimes bring us to identify flaws in some of our basic premises.
Many philosophers have built philosophical systems based on premises which they did not fully lived by. Some philosophers built systems of philosophy to alleviate certain underlying pains that they have gone through in life. Certain types of philosophies can be a sort of refuge or escape for some.
There have been people who have needed to work very hard during large portions of their lives to attempt coping with life situations they have found themselves in. They may have had little time to think in explorative ways like philosophers who have written extensively."
...03/29/08 12:29amin a previous thread in here... i had previously referred to my journal entry of March 8th 2008 and had shared a portion of it... i wanted to share some further portions of it today... to further put in context the origin of this proposed study... so... on March 8th 2008 i had written:
"i'm presently interested in collecting experiences of people who've had the feeling or impression of being a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc... in an attempt to sort out such experiences to find their proper place within the possibilities of truth in such experiences and the possibilities of religious delusions, illusions etc... i'm interested to explore the experiences associated with psychosis and psychotic episodes in this context... but focussing on this question about feeling to be or be meant to become a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc... i would be grateful for any sharings from any one concerning this subject... thanking u in advance... peace and blessings..."
i further wrote: "The context of this endeavour is based on what has evolved in a correspondence i have been having with someone. I am sharing overhere the gist of where we have reached in this correspondence:
"I feel it to be my desire to ponder about the question of being or being meant to become or thinking that we could be or be meant to become a messenger etc. There seems to be the following categories to consider:
* knowing oneself to be a messenger
* rightly feeling that one could be meant to become a messenger
* wrongly thinking that one could be a messenger
* wrongly feeling that one could be meant to become a messenger
Next comes the question of being a messenger sent by whom i.e. the identification of the source of any carried messages. Then comes the question concerning the message and it's nature. Then comes the question concerning the scope of the message and to whom it is addressed.
I first want to look at this from the subjective perspective of my experience, which will bring me closer to something that I have actually experienced.
I have mentioned previously having believed in some phases of my life, that I could be meant to be or to become a messenger. I explained how I reconciled myself with the acceptance that I should have had religious delusions and illusions. But the thinking processes involved in the wonders associated with this issue about being or being meant to become a messenger etc, is something I have actually experienced and I thought it proper to share this experience over here, finding it relevant to do so, and hoping and praying that the best consequences may God willing result from this sharing, with God's grace and mercy.
[i skip overhere an extract which i had previously shared in here]
It is my desire to begin and develop this theme in a piecemeal manner, with the hope and prayer that God may pour His most abundant blessings in this endeavour, to bring about healthy and worthwhile outcomes that can be pleasing to Him and possibly helpful for anyone else who may be concerned. May God make it so. Amen.
I want to end this present message over here for now at least.""
Continuing further i wrote: "I further want to say that the person I am corresponding with seems to believe himself to be a messenger and this is the reason for me attempting to explore this issue at my level and also with him."
http://dailystrength.org/people/119579/journal/883359i had also posted some similar msgs in some support groups and have communicated with some people through private msgs... some people have also written to me privately... i thought now of creating this group to further enhance this study......
Posted on 03/25/08, 11:47 pm ...To further elaborate on my reasons for conducting this proposed study, i thought of sharing an extract from my previous journal entry of March 8th 2008 as follows:
"I have previously explained that experiences which led me to wonder about possibly receiving certain messages from God, occurred to me in early 1991 when I was almost 24 years old. I was described by my psychiatrist in his reports, to have had episodes which were floridely psychotic, before and some time after my hospitalisation as from the 27th March 1991. Heavy doses of medication initially had to be administrated to me until the nature of my illness could be tentatively diagnosed. In 1992, my psychiatrist felt pretty much settled with his diagnosis of my illness and a more stabilised treatment began to be administered to me in the U.S.A. Relapses needing further hospitalisation occured a few times again between 1991 and 1994. I returned to my homeland for good in early 1993 and my last hospitalisation for this illness dates back to September 1994. Thereafter my treatment has proceeded further but as an outpatient and at a moreless maitainance level. The reason I mention all this is because I would like my proposed analysis to be viewed in light of this experience and medical history, because there have been instances when I have mentioned to certain people my occasional thought and feeling of possibly being or being meant to be a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet, etc."
...Posted on 03/29/08, 12:10 am to further elaborate on the origin of this proposed study... i wish to further share something i just found while further searching through my previous journal entries... it was written on February 20th 2008... and i find it relevant in having contributed to lead to this proposed study:
"i feel somewhat confused for the time being... and there has been a certain amount of anxiety rising up within me recently... i have sent some msgs to some selected friends concerning this... i was mentioning that i seem to have to tread a somewhat lonely path for some time at least and in some respects at least... there seems to be certain things i have need to review about myself... i feel a little bit de-stabilised at present... i feel shaken up in some respects at least with respect to my faith... i do not know from where i can possibly be helped in this matter... i do not know which people can serve as guide for me in this matter... i know that what i am writing may seem somewhat mysterious... this element of mystery seems at times to be a helpful way to call the help i may need onto myself... i seem to need to tread a path of caution to some extent at least... i can only hope that things will get better soon... it is difficult for me to try and express the nature of my fear... because this fear doesn't seem to be one of worldly nature... it seems that society in general seems to act as a source of punishment for us at times... direct or indirect criticisms of others seem to act as sources of persecution on us at times... and then... there are the contradictions we begin to find in ourselves... our deeds do not seem to be in line with the beliefs we seem to have adhered to... and certain things seem to have to be reviewed in certain respects at least... there seems to be matters which we fear to probe into too closely... because of the disturbance they may provoke within us... in any case... i think i should leave it at that for the time being... sorry again for being possibly somewhat mysterious... pls take care... peace and blessings..."
On February 23rd 2008 i further wrote:
"if your thinking system is based on false premises, and you continue pursuing the further development of that thinking system, there comes a point when your thinking system reaches a point when contradictions begin to become apparent in it. You begin to find cracks within your thinking system, etc. Certain parts of the system begins to crumble down or to collapse onto themselves. Certain aspects of the system begins ceasing to function. Other parts of it gets rejuvenated. Roles that were previously defined but which had remained dormant somewhat, begin to come to life and to be in operation once more.
People who assume certain functions within a system are not always aware of all the rules and regulations of the system right from the start. There may be times when at least some of these rules and regulations may be forgotten as well. There may also be times and situations where the spirit of these rules and regulations may need to be given more importance than the applications of the rules and regulations themselves. Amendments may need to be made at times, to be better able to cope with situations which seem to be apparently new, in some respects at least. Temporary measures may have to be taken at times. In all this, it seems that a balance between the form and the spirit is to be sought.
There are times when we may need to get back to the basics. This process may sometimes bring us to identify flaws in some of our basic premises.
Many philosophers have built philosophical systems based on premises which they did not fully lived by. Some philosophers built systems of philosophy to alleviate certain underlying pains that they have gone through in life. Certain types of philosophies can be a sort of refuge or escape for some.
There have been people who have needed to work very hard during large portions of their lives to attempt coping with life situations they have found themselves in. They may have had little time to think in explorative ways like philosophers who have written extensively."
...03/29/08 12:29amin a previous thread in here... i had previously referred to my journal entry of March 8th 2008 and had shared a portion of it... i wanted to share some further portions of it today... to further put in context the origin of this proposed study... so... on March 8th 2008 i had written:
"i'm presently interested in collecting experiences of people who've had the feeling or impression of being a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc... in an attempt to sort out such experiences to find their proper place within the possibilities of truth in such experiences and the possibilities of religious delusions, illusions etc... i'm interested to explore the experiences associated with psychosis and psychotic episodes in this context... but focussing on this question about feeling to be or be meant to become a chosen one, a messenger, a prophet etc... i would be grateful for any sharings from any one concerning this subject... thanking u in advance... peace and blessings..."
i further wrote: "The context of this endeavour is based on what has evolved in a correspondence i have been having with someone. I am sharing overhere the gist of where we have reached in this correspondence:
"I feel it to be my desire to ponder about the question of being or being meant to become or thinking that we could be or be meant to become a messenger etc. There seems to be the following categories to consider:
* knowing oneself to be a messenger
* rightly feeling that one could be meant to become a messenger
* wrongly thinking that one could be a messenger
* wrongly feeling that one could be meant to become a messenger
Next comes the question of being a messenger sent by whom i.e. the identification of the source of any carried messages. Then comes the question concerning the message and it's nature. Then comes the question concerning the scope of the message and to whom it is addressed.
I first want to look at this from the subjective perspective of my experience, which will bring me closer to something that I have actually experienced.
I have mentioned previously having believed in some phases of my life, that I could be meant to be or to become a messenger. I explained how I reconciled myself with the acceptance that I should have had religious delusions and illusions. But the thinking processes involved in the wonders associated with this issue about being or being meant to become a messenger etc, is something I have actually experienced and I thought it proper to share this experience over here, finding it relevant to do so, and hoping and praying that the best consequences may God willing result from this sharing, with God's grace and mercy.
[i skip overhere an extract which i had previously shared in here]
It is my desire to begin and develop this theme in a piecemeal manner, with the hope and prayer that God may pour His most abundant blessings in this endeavour, to bring about healthy and worthwhile outcomes that can be pleasing to Him and possibly helpful for anyone else who may be concerned. May God make it so. Amen.
I want to end this present message over here for now at least.""
Continuing further i wrote: "I further want to say that the person I am corresponding with seems to believe himself to be a messenger and this is the reason for me attempting to explore this issue at my level and also with him."
