yearsoftears

Question for adult males with ASD

Posted on 04/01/09, 01:58 am

I need some help! My 15 year old son has been so very physically aggressive with me (he beated me badly).....destroyed the house....ya name it...I know its puberty related....I am not a man...I do not know how men feel...I do not have a husband nor a male figure to help....I need to know how puberty affected you and what set ya off (triggers) and what helped ya to stay calm. He is on several med's...no new ones..had a med increase and decrease of the same med's he's been on for a long time...I did switch him back though. I need to know how you males released your aggressiveness in a positive, non aggressive way. PLEASE HELP!

• Reply #1 05/05/09  10:53pm
  
  DuckAndCover
  I lived through puberty and on into adult life with no idea why I felt like an alien. I felt stressed all the time and nothing set me off like change. No-one would shuffle the furniture around in a blind person's house because they'd know that the person needed to have everything the way they remembered it in order to navigate safely and yet things quite happily shuffled around me often leaving me adrift. At the butchers I used to go to, the butcher who I preferred to be served by, quit and got a job in another town - that was the end of my meat buying and it also ended my cooking for awhile. To me life is like a video game with no "save game" function, anything, AND I DO MEAN ANYTHING, will tip me over into panic (rage). My friend/carer now sees that it's more important to find out what's triggered me and to calm me down than it is to point out that my behaviour is socially unacceptable. Is this fair? Hell no! (depending on whose standards you measure it by) but it works.
• Reply #2 06/25/09  4:13pm
  
  HanceyJ
  My son is 36 and can control his fit throwing, but there are times that he can't. I don't know what triggers him most of the time. He will be self abusive when he goes off and sometimes destroys things. I hadn't thought about any little change could upset him. I appreciate your comment DuckandCover. Do you think that maybe I expect to much off him? How do you handle things that change. Some things are impossible not to change what do you do about that?
• Reply #3 10/03/09  8:29pm
  
  rendeverance
  I think it would be helpful to identify the causes or what happens just before these occurances occur? as then it might be easier to give some rationale. Regards

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