dakini2

Adoption while still ttc??

Posted on 07/17/08, 11:07 am

I get the impression it is frowned upon but the truth is that I always hoped to do both and now that we are struggling to conceive I am thinking that I want to start the adoption process now because this is something that we have more control over (to a degree) and can actually do. I know at some point I will need to grieve the loss of our biological child but at the moment we are still hopefull. We are intending to adopt internationally from Dh's country of origin so it will take atleast 3 to 4 years (or longer) before we have a child. I know that we have room in our lives for both and more than enough love to go round.

Has anyone else thought about this or had any experience with this?

• Reply #1 07/17/08  11:49pm
  
  wenward1
  Hi, I am in the same situation as you now. We have been TTC for about three years and even before we knew we were going to have such a hard time doing it we thought about adopting as well as having our own biological kids. We decided to take some time off from the infertility roller coaster and are looking into adopting, even though we would like to TTC again in a couple of months. I don't think there's anything wrong with your desire to do both. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to do.
• Reply #2 07/30/08  12:57am
  
  kimmic
  I don't think there is anything wrong with doing both. Adoption is a process and it takes awhile. It you start your paperwork now you will be ahead if you choose to adopt. You could start getting your homestudy done and be ready if the time comes. Good luck with your decision.
• Reply #3 07/30/08  9:26am
  
  kimbochi
  My DH and I talked recently and he is not ready to give up on treatments and I guess I'm not either. However I seem more ready to look into adoption than him. I also feel like I need to be looking into other avenues of having a child while going through treatments so that I know if the fertility stuff fails, we have other things going on (adoption process). So, I am with you- I plan to still try, but I am also planning to look into adoption really soon as well. Whether it's frowned upon or not, it's reality- unfortunately there is no one to come out and TELL us what path we will get our baby from.... so, why not try both. I am hoping that in our hearts we will feel what's right.
• Reply #4 08/18/08  3:26pm
  
  jkfree
  I talked to our social worker last week and she said she will allow couples to adopt while ttc if she thinks they can give proper attention to the adopted child even after they become pg.
• Reply #5 08/23/08  9:53am
  
  jandc0917
  Different agencies will tell you different things regarding this. If this is what you want to do, then you should search for an agency which lets you do both.
  
  We are now on a waiting list to adopt a newborn, but we have two frozen blastocysts. We thought that we would do the FET while waiting, but have changed our minds. Although we are still trying naturally and still believe that miracles will happen, we decided that we wanted to focus our energy on the adoption now. For me, ART is so stressful and does such a toll on your body and your health, and I don't want to be in this state when we are matched with a birth mother and our baby is born. I also want to be able to give this baby special attention and make sure that he/she knows how special they are before biological children come into the picture.
  
  Soon after we are placed with a baby though, we plan to do the FET.
• Reply #6 05/28/09  12:05pm
  
  WinniePoo
  My DH and I are approved for adoption and waiting to be chosen by a birthmother. We have not stopped TTC because we aren't ready to give up on that part of our lives yet. We have always intended on both having biological children and adopted children...even before we had problems conceiving.
• Reply #7 06/11/09  4:20pm
  
  bcgradgirl
  We have started the adoption process ourselves but are still ttc on our own. I have moved on from IVF although I have not ruled out that I may do another cycle in the future. Like many of you, I have never given up on my dreams of having a child myself but am putting my heart and soul into adoption now.

This is a group for those suffering from IF who are considering adoption as a way to grow their family. Those who have recently adopted as a result of IF are welcome as well.