Discussion Topic
feeling very alone with my situation..
Posted on 09/23/09, 03:10 pm
hi everybody, thanx 4 stopping 2 read my post.
my problem is that i am almost 38weeks pregnant. and i'm not really feeling excited and happy about this.
i did lose my son Gavin last April 2 SIDS, and after a few months, all i wanted was 2 get pregnant again, and it happened, so here i am, due october 8th. and not ready.
i have mostly everything i need 4 this baby. i am healthy an baby is healthy. but i just don't feel excited an happy. i feel stressed an sad, an almost like i'm making a mistake. i'm scared about birth and after. i don't want 2 lose this baby, but i'm not ready 4 it 2 b here either. i feel like i'm wasting my time. like i'm not gonna bring anything home. part of this is financial worries. but...mostly its just me. i can't see this going well.
please say something if feel the same way at all, or have felt the same way. i know this has 2 b sorta normal. cause i lost my 1st and only child.
my problem is that i am almost 38weeks pregnant. and i'm not really feeling excited and happy about this.
i did lose my son Gavin last April 2 SIDS, and after a few months, all i wanted was 2 get pregnant again, and it happened, so here i am, due october 8th. and not ready.
i have mostly everything i need 4 this baby. i am healthy an baby is healthy. but i just don't feel excited an happy. i feel stressed an sad, an almost like i'm making a mistake. i'm scared about birth and after. i don't want 2 lose this baby, but i'm not ready 4 it 2 b here either. i feel like i'm wasting my time. like i'm not gonna bring anything home. part of this is financial worries. but...mostly its just me. i can't see this going well.
please say something if feel the same way at all, or have felt the same way. i know this has 2 b sorta normal. cause i lost my 1st and only child.
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Reply #1 09/24/09 9:57am
It is very noraml to feel this way, I was scared and anxious to meet me little guy, I had a tough pregnancy so as much as I wanted him to stay inside of me I knew he was safer on the outside. he was born July 11th and I went thru a whirlwind of emotions. I think my suppressed emotions came pouring out. I was so scared to lose him and honestly I still have a bit of that fear, it's normal after what we have been thru, I had insomnia and I cried alot. I talk to my doctor who put me on some meds to easy my anxiety and it has helped. I also helps to talk about how you are feeling. Ty is such a perfect gift from My sweet angel Ari, he has brought us so much love and joy and happiness and those feelings will outweigh any other feeling your having, you will look into that little face and it will fill you with joy and so much happiness everytime. Know that you are not alone hun. Good Luck I can't wait to see that little bundle!!! Luv & hugs-Julia -
Reply #2 10/04/09 3:57pm
You aren't alone. We all have felt this way. When you look at that little face you are going to be in love, but at the same time sheer terror will kick in. My Marissa is getting closer to a year old. I think what has gotten me through these past 11 months is faith. Fear is still there...think it always will be. The fear becomes a daily part of life the challenge is to not allow it to paralyze you from being the kind of mommy you want to be to this new baby....good luck sweety! HUGS -
Reply #3 10/10/09 11:55am
hey there,
my daughter Gretchen died on the 24th of april 2008.
i didnt want to have anymore babies because i never wanted to put myself in a position to be destroyed ever again. however i fell pregnant in october.
i was postive all pregnancy even through her birthdat and angel day i kept my head up and tried to focus on the future.
then my due date came....i was on the hour long drive to see my doctor and it dawned on me... i had no connection with the baby.. i couldn't make myself in the moment actually feel anything..
i cried and cried and then cried a whole lot more.
two days later my son Henry came into the world in an almighty rush and i have never been more in love with a male in my life.. i have four daughters and now to have a son, well i believe i am one of the most blessed women around!
now Henry is almost 10 weeks old and we have pasted the 6 week mark (Gretchen was exactly 6 weeks old) i feel so much better.
i wish for you a beautiful experience, everything you feel is normal, well normal for those of us here anyway.
love to you -
Reply #4 11/25/09 1:43pm
I am feeling the same way right now. I have wanted another baby since my first died of SIDS almost 6 years ago. Now that I am pg, I am having second thoughts because I am terrified something is going to go wrong again. I desperately want a baby but the fear is driving me mad. I've been having meltdowns on almost a daily basis and I'm only 20 weeks pg!
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