kas2006

PLEASE HELP ME

Posted on 09/09/09, 03:41 pm

I just want to cut. The pain is so unbearable. Everyone is too busy to talk.,,,they just give me scriptures. Life is too hard. Im sick of life and sick of f--cked up self.

• Reply #1 09/12/09  10:19am
  
  HiveGuy
  I've cut... a few times. I do understand the addicttion. The blade entering. Slicing. That moment as your flesh seperates before bllood lflows. It;s very soothing somehow, and it makes you feel more alive, More present,
  
  I understand that. Scriptures are for babies, and people who just don;t know an answer. You know that cutting is the wrong way, and ou don't want to or your wouldn't be asking for help.
  
  There is always an alternative. I massacred tomatoes with razors for a while. Same blade feel,and if there soft same bleed. It doesn't relieve the pain, but it seems to shed light on how f-ed up doing it to you is. I also became very open about who I am and what is wrong with me my intro went like this "Hi, I;m John. I have severe PTSD. I have flashbacks , fits of rage, cry all the time, and always am in pain. Sometimes I cut myself and try to destroy me." Most people went running away... the ones that stayed... they helped me, and pointed me to places to get more help.
  
  The pain you feel is real. The needs you feel are too. The sickness wanes... it never seems to go away, but it does wane.
  
  Also. I vent. Pages and pages of rage meant for no one but me. I slash and tear into the paper every sick fucked up thought I have.... and then I throw it away. It helps. to get it out and wash it away.
  
  Please son't cut. I hit an artery on accident, and have nerve damage that will never go away. It isn;t worth it, and it will wane. I promise.
  
  Please reply... I;m worried for you.

for people who have been diagonose with ptsd