Discussion Topic
Types of Stalkers and Stalking Patterns
Posted on 08/14/09, 11:36 am
Types of Stalkers and Stalking Patterns
(Note: The following 6 categories have been defined by P. E. Mullen. However, even Mullen asserts that these are not entirely mutually exclusive groupings, and the placement of an individual is a matter of judgment. Like sexual harassers, stalkers may fit more than one profile, or begin with one approach and move to another. )
Rejected Stalker
The most common, persistent and intrusive of all stalkers, the rejected stalker is obsessed with someone who is a former romantic partner or friend, and who has ended their relationship with the stalker, or indicates that he or she intends to end the relationship. Depending on the responses of the victim, the stalkers goals will vary, and the rejected stalker usually struggles with the complex desire for
both reconciliation and revenge. As Mullen writes, "A sense of loss could be combined with frustration, anger, jealousy, vindictiveness, and sadness in ever-changing proportions." This stalker may be very narcissistic, and may feel humiliated by the rejection. In most cases, they will have poor social skills
and a poor social network. They are also the most likely to try to harm the victim in some way, and may employ intimidation and assault in their pursuit. They may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person. A history of violence in the relationship with the partner is not uncommon.
Resentful Stalker
This stalker is looking for revenge against someone who has upset them--it could be someone known to the stalker or a complete stranger. The behaviors are meant to frighten and distress the victim. The stalker views the target as being similar to those who have oppressed and humiliated them in the past, and they may view themselves as someone striking back against an oppressor. Or, the victim could be
a professional believed to have cheated or abused the stalker in some way. Often irrationally paranoid, this kind of stalker can be the most obsessive and enduring. While the least likely to use physical force, the resentful stalker is the most likely to verbally threaten the victim. They may use personal threats,
complaints to law enforcement and local government, property damage, theft or killing of pet, letters or notes on the victim's car or house, breaking into the victim's house or apartment, or watching the victim's movements.
Predatory Stalker
The least common of all the stalkers, this is the classic sexual predator whose plan is to physically or sexually attack the victim. They are motivated purely by the desire for sexual gratification and power over their victim. This type of stalker is sexually deviant, has poor social skills, and usually has lower than normal intelligence. They usually will not have any direct contact with the victim while they are stalking them. This stalker may engage in such behaviors as surveillance of the victim, obscene phone calls, fetishism, voyeurism, sexual masochism and sadism, exhibitionism. The victim can be either someone the stalker knows, or a complete stranger.
Intimacy Seeker
The intimacy seeker seeks to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To them, the victim is a long sought-after soul mate, and they were meant to be together. Also, they may have the delusion that the victim is in love with them--usually called erotomania. They may interpret any kind of response from the victim as encouragement, even negative responses. This stalker may write letters,
send gifts, or call their victim. They may believe the victim owes them love because of all they have invested in stalking them, and is very resistant to changing their beliefs. The intimacy seeker has an inflated sense of entitlement, and if they recognize they are being rejected, this stalker may become threatening, or may try to harm the victim in some way, sometimes using violence. (In this way, they may become a rejected stalker, see above.) This stalker may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person. After the rejected stalker, the intimacy seeker is the most persistent type of stalker. They are usually unresponsive to legal sanctions, viewing them as challenges to overcome that demonstrate their love for the victim.
Incompetent Suitor
The Incompetent Suitor desires a romantic or intimate relationship with the victim but is impaired in their social and courting skills. This stalker may be very narcissistic, and cut off from victim's feelings (lack of empathy). The incompetent believes that anyone should be attracted to them. Typically, this stalker will
repeatedly ask for dates, or call on the phone, even after being rejected. They may attempt physical contact by trying hold the victim's hand or kiss the victim, however, the will not become physically violent or threatening. The incompetent suitor is less persistent than others, and is likely to have stalked numerous others in the past, and will probably do so in the future. They will quickly stop stalking if threatened with legal action or after receiving counseling.
Erotomaniac and Morbidly Infatuated
This stalker believes that the victim is in love with them. They believe this even though the victim has done nothing to suggest it is true, and may have made statements to the contrary. The erotomaniac reinterprets what their victim says and does to support the delusion, and is convinced that the imagined romance will eventually become a permanent union. This stalker may suffer from acute paranoia, and typically chooses a victim of higher social status. They will repeatedly try to approach and communicate with their supposed lover, and is typically unresponsive to threats of legal action of any kind. Without psychological treatment, this stalker is likely to continue with their activities.
Cyberstalking and Cyberstalkers
Cyberstalking is an extension of the physical act of stalking; however, the behavior occurs using electronic mediums, such as the Internet and computer sypware. Someone who is physically stalking an individual may employ cyberstalking as another means to pursue, harass, or force contact. Or, cyberstalking may be the sole means of surveillance and pursuit of the victim. The stalker may join forums they know their target frequents, and pose as someone else in an attempt to contact their target, or they may contact other members to get information about the target or defame their character. They may use spyware to access their target's computer and the personal information contained within. Given the vast distances that the Internet spans, a "pure" cyberstalker will never move beyond electronic
mediums and into physical stalking. Still, this does not mean that the behavior is any less distressing, frightening, or damaging, and a cyberstalker's motives can fit any of the categories described above. Moreover, given the ability of individuals to ‘mask’ their identity when using the Internet, linking the harassment to one particular individual can be difficult. Programs that mask IP (Internet Protocol) addresses, and anonymous remailers are merely two examples that hinder the identification of the stalker and their (digital) location.
Who Becomes a Stalker
Stalkers are usually isolated and lonely, coming from the "disadvantaged" of our society; however, a stalker can occupy any place in our entire social spectrum. Often, the stalking may be triggered by a significant trauma or loss in the life of the perpetrator, usually within at least seven years of the stalking behavior. (For example, relationship dissolution or divorce, job termination, loss/potential loss of a child, or an ill parent.) Most stalkers are not psychotic. In a comparative study of psychotic versus non-psychotic stalkers (Mullen et al. 1999), 63% of the sample was found to be suffering from a common psychiatric condition, such as major depression, personality disorder, or substance dependence--with
personality disorder being the most common diagnosis.
Ex-intimates: Common stalkers are people who previously shared a romantic relationship with the victim, and former intimates are the most common type of stalking target. This can be either from a long or short term relationship.
Family members: A stalker may target a member of their family, such as a parent or sibling. This would most likely be a resentful or rejected stalker, and they would target a family member they feel had rejected, humiliated, or abused them in the past.
Friends and Acquaintances: The victim may be stalked by an intimacy seeker or an incompetent suitor motivated by a desire to start a romantic relationship with the victim. The victim may be stalked by a resentful stalker, typically a neighbor, who may be involved in a disagreement with the victim about something such as noise, the location of a tree, or pets.
Workplace Contacts: In their study of stalkers, Mullen (et al) found that 23% had a professional relationship with their victim, most often a medical practitioner. Other stalkers may be supervisors, fellow employees, service providers, clients, or others who show up at the victim's workplace. Stalking behaviors directed at the victim may include: sexual harassment, physical and sexual assaults, robberies, or even homicide. A violent workplace stalker usually has a history of poor job performance, a high rate of absenteeism, and a record of threats and confrontations with people they resent in the workplace.
The United States Justice Department found that in the U.S., between the years 1992 and 1996 over 2 million people were the victims of violent crime in the workplace. This included:
1.5 million assaults
51,000 rapes
84,000 robberies
Over 1000 homicides (disgruntled employees--usually resentful stalkers--are responsible for most workplace homicides.
Victims often do not tell their co-workers or supervisors about the person who is stalking them because they fear reprisals from the stalker or other employees, don't think they will be believed, or feel embarrassed about the situation. (For other reasons, see Confusion and Denial, on the home page)
Doctors, nurses, psychologists, or other healthcare providers may become the targets of stalking by obsessed clients or patients. (Or the other way around) Teachers may become stalked by students. (Or the other way around.) Psychiatrists are at particular risk for being the targets of stalking because of their contact with people with psychiatric conditions.
Strangers: These are most commonly Intimacy Seekers and Incompetent Suitors, but may also be Predatory stalkers or Resentful stalkers. These stalkers may hide their identity from their victims at first, and reveal it after stalking their victim for some time in order to get closer to them. Victims may be initially flattered when stalker approaches them and respond politely. They may even agree to go on a
date with their stalker, after many requests. This can have the unintentional effect of encouraging the stalker, and making them believe that their love is reciprocated.
Gender: Stalkers are far more likely to be male, however, women can also become stalkers. Women are more likely to target someone they have known, usually a professional contact. Men are less likely to pursue other men, while females will often target other females. The majority of female stalkers are intimacy seekers seeking to establish relationships, whereas men show a broader range of
motivations, and are more often to be seeking to restore relationships. Women are as likely to use violence as men, and there does not tend to be a difference between genders regarding the duration of a stalking. Thus, while the contexts and motives for stalking may differ between men and women, the intrusiveness of the behaviors and potential for harm does not.
(Note: The following 6 categories have been defined by P. E. Mullen. However, even Mullen asserts that these are not entirely mutually exclusive groupings, and the placement of an individual is a matter of judgment. Like sexual harassers, stalkers may fit more than one profile, or begin with one approach and move to another. )
Rejected Stalker
The most common, persistent and intrusive of all stalkers, the rejected stalker is obsessed with someone who is a former romantic partner or friend, and who has ended their relationship with the stalker, or indicates that he or she intends to end the relationship. Depending on the responses of the victim, the stalkers goals will vary, and the rejected stalker usually struggles with the complex desire for
both reconciliation and revenge. As Mullen writes, "A sense of loss could be combined with frustration, anger, jealousy, vindictiveness, and sadness in ever-changing proportions." This stalker may be very narcissistic, and may feel humiliated by the rejection. In most cases, they will have poor social skills
and a poor social network. They are also the most likely to try to harm the victim in some way, and may employ intimidation and assault in their pursuit. They may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person. A history of violence in the relationship with the partner is not uncommon.
Resentful Stalker
This stalker is looking for revenge against someone who has upset them--it could be someone known to the stalker or a complete stranger. The behaviors are meant to frighten and distress the victim. The stalker views the target as being similar to those who have oppressed and humiliated them in the past, and they may view themselves as someone striking back against an oppressor. Or, the victim could be
a professional believed to have cheated or abused the stalker in some way. Often irrationally paranoid, this kind of stalker can be the most obsessive and enduring. While the least likely to use physical force, the resentful stalker is the most likely to verbally threaten the victim. They may use personal threats,
complaints to law enforcement and local government, property damage, theft or killing of pet, letters or notes on the victim's car or house, breaking into the victim's house or apartment, or watching the victim's movements.
Predatory Stalker
The least common of all the stalkers, this is the classic sexual predator whose plan is to physically or sexually attack the victim. They are motivated purely by the desire for sexual gratification and power over their victim. This type of stalker is sexually deviant, has poor social skills, and usually has lower than normal intelligence. They usually will not have any direct contact with the victim while they are stalking them. This stalker may engage in such behaviors as surveillance of the victim, obscene phone calls, fetishism, voyeurism, sexual masochism and sadism, exhibitionism. The victim can be either someone the stalker knows, or a complete stranger.
Intimacy Seeker
The intimacy seeker seeks to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To them, the victim is a long sought-after soul mate, and they were meant to be together. Also, they may have the delusion that the victim is in love with them--usually called erotomania. They may interpret any kind of response from the victim as encouragement, even negative responses. This stalker may write letters,
send gifts, or call their victim. They may believe the victim owes them love because of all they have invested in stalking them, and is very resistant to changing their beliefs. The intimacy seeker has an inflated sense of entitlement, and if they recognize they are being rejected, this stalker may become threatening, or may try to harm the victim in some way, sometimes using violence. (In this way, they may become a rejected stalker, see above.) This stalker may become jealous if their victim enters or continues a romantic relationship with another person. After the rejected stalker, the intimacy seeker is the most persistent type of stalker. They are usually unresponsive to legal sanctions, viewing them as challenges to overcome that demonstrate their love for the victim.
Incompetent Suitor
The Incompetent Suitor desires a romantic or intimate relationship with the victim but is impaired in their social and courting skills. This stalker may be very narcissistic, and cut off from victim's feelings (lack of empathy). The incompetent believes that anyone should be attracted to them. Typically, this stalker will
repeatedly ask for dates, or call on the phone, even after being rejected. They may attempt physical contact by trying hold the victim's hand or kiss the victim, however, the will not become physically violent or threatening. The incompetent suitor is less persistent than others, and is likely to have stalked numerous others in the past, and will probably do so in the future. They will quickly stop stalking if threatened with legal action or after receiving counseling.
Erotomaniac and Morbidly Infatuated
This stalker believes that the victim is in love with them. They believe this even though the victim has done nothing to suggest it is true, and may have made statements to the contrary. The erotomaniac reinterprets what their victim says and does to support the delusion, and is convinced that the imagined romance will eventually become a permanent union. This stalker may suffer from acute paranoia, and typically chooses a victim of higher social status. They will repeatedly try to approach and communicate with their supposed lover, and is typically unresponsive to threats of legal action of any kind. Without psychological treatment, this stalker is likely to continue with their activities.
Cyberstalking and Cyberstalkers
Cyberstalking is an extension of the physical act of stalking; however, the behavior occurs using electronic mediums, such as the Internet and computer sypware. Someone who is physically stalking an individual may employ cyberstalking as another means to pursue, harass, or force contact. Or, cyberstalking may be the sole means of surveillance and pursuit of the victim. The stalker may join forums they know their target frequents, and pose as someone else in an attempt to contact their target, or they may contact other members to get information about the target or defame their character. They may use spyware to access their target's computer and the personal information contained within. Given the vast distances that the Internet spans, a "pure" cyberstalker will never move beyond electronic
mediums and into physical stalking. Still, this does not mean that the behavior is any less distressing, frightening, or damaging, and a cyberstalker's motives can fit any of the categories described above. Moreover, given the ability of individuals to ‘mask’ their identity when using the Internet, linking the harassment to one particular individual can be difficult. Programs that mask IP (Internet Protocol) addresses, and anonymous remailers are merely two examples that hinder the identification of the stalker and their (digital) location.
Who Becomes a Stalker
Stalkers are usually isolated and lonely, coming from the "disadvantaged" of our society; however, a stalker can occupy any place in our entire social spectrum. Often, the stalking may be triggered by a significant trauma or loss in the life of the perpetrator, usually within at least seven years of the stalking behavior. (For example, relationship dissolution or divorce, job termination, loss/potential loss of a child, or an ill parent.) Most stalkers are not psychotic. In a comparative study of psychotic versus non-psychotic stalkers (Mullen et al. 1999), 63% of the sample was found to be suffering from a common psychiatric condition, such as major depression, personality disorder, or substance dependence--with
personality disorder being the most common diagnosis.
Ex-intimates: Common stalkers are people who previously shared a romantic relationship with the victim, and former intimates are the most common type of stalking target. This can be either from a long or short term relationship.
Family members: A stalker may target a member of their family, such as a parent or sibling. This would most likely be a resentful or rejected stalker, and they would target a family member they feel had rejected, humiliated, or abused them in the past.
Friends and Acquaintances: The victim may be stalked by an intimacy seeker or an incompetent suitor motivated by a desire to start a romantic relationship with the victim. The victim may be stalked by a resentful stalker, typically a neighbor, who may be involved in a disagreement with the victim about something such as noise, the location of a tree, or pets.
Workplace Contacts: In their study of stalkers, Mullen (et al) found that 23% had a professional relationship with their victim, most often a medical practitioner. Other stalkers may be supervisors, fellow employees, service providers, clients, or others who show up at the victim's workplace. Stalking behaviors directed at the victim may include: sexual harassment, physical and sexual assaults, robberies, or even homicide. A violent workplace stalker usually has a history of poor job performance, a high rate of absenteeism, and a record of threats and confrontations with people they resent in the workplace.
The United States Justice Department found that in the U.S., between the years 1992 and 1996 over 2 million people were the victims of violent crime in the workplace. This included:
1.5 million assaults
51,000 rapes
84,000 robberies
Over 1000 homicides (disgruntled employees--usually resentful stalkers--are responsible for most workplace homicides.
Victims often do not tell their co-workers or supervisors about the person who is stalking them because they fear reprisals from the stalker or other employees, don't think they will be believed, or feel embarrassed about the situation. (For other reasons, see Confusion and Denial, on the home page)
Doctors, nurses, psychologists, or other healthcare providers may become the targets of stalking by obsessed clients or patients. (Or the other way around) Teachers may become stalked by students. (Or the other way around.) Psychiatrists are at particular risk for being the targets of stalking because of their contact with people with psychiatric conditions.
Strangers: These are most commonly Intimacy Seekers and Incompetent Suitors, but may also be Predatory stalkers or Resentful stalkers. These stalkers may hide their identity from their victims at first, and reveal it after stalking their victim for some time in order to get closer to them. Victims may be initially flattered when stalker approaches them and respond politely. They may even agree to go on a
date with their stalker, after many requests. This can have the unintentional effect of encouraging the stalker, and making them believe that their love is reciprocated.
Gender: Stalkers are far more likely to be male, however, women can also become stalkers. Women are more likely to target someone they have known, usually a professional contact. Men are less likely to pursue other men, while females will often target other females. The majority of female stalkers are intimacy seekers seeking to establish relationships, whereas men show a broader range of
motivations, and are more often to be seeking to restore relationships. Women are as likely to use violence as men, and there does not tend to be a difference between genders regarding the duration of a stalking. Thus, while the contexts and motives for stalking may differ between men and women, the intrusiveness of the behaviors and potential for harm does not.
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Reply #1 08/14/09 12:40pm
Thank you for posting, Khabri. I know women who have had more than one stalker and this is useful info! -
Reply #2 08/14/09 12:48pm
Your welcome. I know I have dealt with them too. Mine consisted of cyberstalking... also I worry my ex will become one, once he finds out he will never see his son again.. I moved.
Stalkers
http://findarticles.com/p/articles... -
Reply #3 08/14/09 2:38pm
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Reply #4 08/24/09 10:54am
Khabri, thanks for the info.
Scrooched, thanks for the laugh. :-)
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Reply #5 09/26/09 10:12pm
Thank you. This was really helpful to read. I am being stalked on the internet. He writes public blogs about me and writes embarrassing and personal things. It shows up when people google me. I am so embarrassed because everyone around me knows about it and I feel like I am being judged for what he is doing. I started a website and blog of my own dedicated to victims of stalkers, but I still feel so guilty and embarrassed about the whole thing. I told the Dean of my school, my parents, my friends and the police all about it, but I feel regret for telling everyone what is happening. I am not sure how to feel less embarrassed since he is the one doing this, not me. I just feel really alone even though I have a strong support system. -
Reply #6 09/26/09 10:14pm
One of my other ex-boyfriends read the lies on the internet about what the stalker was writing and wrote me a horrible mean email. I was so embarrassed and tried to explain it all to him. He blamed me for having gone back to the stalker in the first place and said I was a lonely sad person living in the past and blamed everyone else for my problems. That made me feel worse. Is there something wrong with me? What kinds of people are most likely to be stalked? Are there things I can work on personally so I don't attract more of these types of people? -
Reply #7 09/28/09 1:05am
What is the best way to deal with a cyberstalker? -
Reply #8 09/28/09 11:21am
Have you spoken with the FBI regarding this? -
Reply #9 09/29/09 2:49pm
Don't forget lawyers in the group that is targeted as well as cops.... stalkers, especially ones with psycho or sociopathic tendencies will flock to stalking these two groups because of the power and control issues especially if they have already been incarcerated before or are being watched by law enforcement for suspicion of another crime. -
Reply #10 10/24/09 9:17pm
thank you so much for this. i have been stalked on and off most of my life. i think because i was in the arts and modelled from a young age. but there has been more than one type of stalker and more than one kind of gender. some have the gall to show up, to break in, to trace me no matter how many times i move, to tell people they know me when i don't know them. two female stalkers and one male (three females if i include one family member) used to steal my personal photographs, the originals, my report cards, my scrapbooks, to the point that i have nothing left. one used to leave me snapshots of them replacing the photos of me and me and my friends.
i could probably write a book on being stalked, though many people in the arts can. in the 90's i discovered a former co-worker who had been a stalker HER ENTIRE LIFE, i was one of many of her victims and people finally started taking her to court. not only did she steal others personal photos, but she had to take ALL of their photos even their wedding photos and if her family made her copies of those photos to appease her, it wasn't enough. it was extremely important to her that SHE have the photos and the true owner of the photos have none of their own photos. VERY weird. she was bipolar and said when on proper meds she was horrified by what she would do. so it was part of her disorder. her family also said that allowing that kind of a stalker/thief to HAVE what they stole, actually made the disorder that much WORSE.
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