rejoiceagain

My story

Posted on 02/11/09, 11:05 am

I cannot believe it has been over a year since my world became a nightmare. This was something I never imagined I would face. We were so "safe"...so "normal". I was so careful to choose a man that I thought would protect me, and yet he has inflicted on me far worse than anyone ever has, even those who harmed me as a child. And he knew how impossible it would be for me to face this with my history of molestation. How could anyone, far less someone who claims to love you above everyone else do something so horribly hurtful? He is "trying"...but he just doesn't get it. Not only will "we" never be the same..."I" will never be the same.

The whole situation was magnified by the games they played! They thought they were so clever to make eyes at each other and slip away to "talk" at church while I was teaching or leading children's choir. They set up outings for the 4 of us so they could be together. She started it all in the pitiful name of trying to save her marriage and thinking my H sould help...they used houses that she as a real estate agent had access to for their sexual meetings. My H and I were not from this type of background and she entered our life and destroyed so much! It is all more than I can comprehend. I don't even know what I want much less what I can accept or forgive.Part of me can't imagine life without him...and the other part is so disgusted I can't stand the thought of settling for this. I'm paralyzed by my confusion and hurt. I know it is by the grace of God that I have come as far as I have...but I still hurt!

• Reply #1 02/11/09  12:23pm
  
  archangels
  I know all too well the pain you are in right now,my husband told me 6wk,s before christmas [this past christmas 08] like you i thought i was safe,i was with him for 25+yrs married 23yrs i thought i knew this man but he,s turned into someone i don,t know anymore,he had been e-mailing his whore for almost a year and he waited until 6wk,s before christmas before telling me,we are more like brother and sister than husband and wife and he had also been calling me names etc,then he admitted what he,d been upto and that is why he was leaving me,since then he has told me he wants us to be friends and we may get back together when he actually meant,i,ve still got her here in my flat and i want you to stay on the sidelinds until i make up my mind what i want! well i have to admit i thought i did still love him but he,s shown me his true colours and i know i,m in for a tough ride but i,m the one who is going to hold my head high and him ? well to be honest i believe what goes around comes around and there you have my story,whilst i admire you for the way you are keeping your marriage going, personally i feel once the trust is gone then there is no point in going on but that is my view,anytime you want to chat then please feel free shaz x
• Reply #2 02/11/09  7:44pm
  
  kmhll447
  My heart breaks for you, both of you. But, with prayer, time, good friends and support, you will eventually heal. Once the trust is broken, it takes a miracle. I found that out with my ex. I should've seen the signs, actually I did, just didn't want to believe it. At least when I confronted him he was honest. Neither one of us believed it would work if we tried again, so we didn't. The worst part was "divorcing" my in-laws, they were sweet people. But it had to be a clean break or I would've been even worse.
  
  Life goes on, be proud and strong. Lean on friends when you need to.
  
  Karen
• Reply #3 03/05/09  5:14pm
  
  aud3
  you three women are strong no matter what you might think. i admire you all for sharing you stories and how you are dealing with your situations. life does go on and its up to you to decide where you want it to take you. god bless each one of you and continue to have faith.
  strong women you truly are.
• Reply #4 03/17/09  10:54pm
  
  miriamhyde
  So what do we do? Never trust? Never try love again?
  
  WHY do people hurt each other so much? Are we just inherently evil? And what about the collateral damage?
  
  I am grateful that #2 and I have become friends, and am friends with his family.
  
  #1 is a shit, has always been a shit and will always be a shit. I've tried dealing in good faith with him, but he's no different than when we divorced in 1989. And that our children hate me, blame me, have nothing to do with me...maybe someday they will understand the truth
  
  

ANYBODY WANTS TO TALK THERE LIFE EXPERIENCES