PEACEPosted on 12/03/08, 10:19 am
I read a little red book of quotes and reflections every morning which my daughter gave to me as a Christmas present many years ago and containing a quote and reflection for each day .I think it is published by Hazeldon Press. It is a moment of time set aside for the spiritual before the rush of my daily routine sets in. This quote reminded me of how much I like this monk's philosophy, and I thought I would share it here.
No, he had no children, but I think his observation is a good one. What do you all think? Is it easier not to busy oneself with sayings and doings of others if one does not have children, or is this type of concern part of the human condition, children or no?
Reply #1 12/03/08 10:32am
Lavie aka trapper I think this is the same principle of co dependents annymous. That org strongly believes that to have peace and less stress is to keep the focus on oneself. I will write more as I gots an appointment to go to. Love u all Jo
Reply #2 12/03/08 4:41pm
Jo: Yup, it is. VERY difficult to do - it is detachment from those things that are beyond our control...
TRAPPING IS within my control! Nine squirrels caught to date, squirrel "front door" sealed up by repairmen from the Senior Center - I can't thank them enough! A minimal fee for services, and I will tip them...
All is well, and I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (as far as the squirrels are concerned!)
Reply #3 12/03/08 9:00pm
I agree and I am trying to practice this. No more knee jerk reaction when the calls come in from the adult children wanting something. I stress to the ones that listen that mom cannot do it all anymore. I will support them but financially I cannot be there for them as before.
I had a thought, all the years I was married, I never asked my parents for money. We managed and did it all ourselves and became very independent. We try to help and give money just to make it easier for them, but they all need to suffer a little in this world to appreciate the good.
Reply #4 12/04/08 8:34pm
My late mother-in-law, a devout Roman Catholic who treated me as a daughter, gave me several of Thomas A Kempis' writings during difficult times in my life. I am an Episcopalian so at the time I was not familiar with who he was. I did find them very helpful and still have the copies she gave me.
Since my divorce I have begun to put more emphasis on my needs and wishes. For so long I put my needs last since that is what my mother, grandmothers and mother-in-law had done. The past few years have shown me that if I don't take of myself no one else does. My children put themselves first. If I don't like it I can lump it. So I have accepted that while treating myself better than I had been.
1. Searching the internet will bring up a variety of support groups, blogs, and articles, some of which are designed to support estranged parents and others to support estranged adult children. Some of these latter sites may trigger unpleasant feelings that are difficult to deal with. If you wish to investigate the estranged children sites, please do so very carefully, if at all, and only if you feel strong enough. 2. Only members can post here, but anyone can read what is written here. Plea