Discussion Topic
Silence
Posted on 05/02/12, 11:52 am
Well I don't get mean emails or mean phone calls, I just get silence---I guess it is the approaching Mothers Day---but I am really down---the Silence KILLS me a little each day. I consider is Bullying of the first order. Is anyone's EO just silent? I swear I would take screaming just to hear his voice sometimes. Bummed today---I worked 16 hours last night. It was horrible-----and then silence another day---Bummed Bummed Bummed. Silence on mothers day will be so loud---and I know it is coming and still---that like spark of unrealistic hope in my heart is going to get me hurt again. And he won't have to do a think---just be silent.
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Reply #31 05/07/12 8:01pm
10 years of silence ... -
Reply #32 05/07/12 8:38pm
Wow, Cathy...am glad to hear that your daughter is at least fighting to come see you guys, and, unfortunately, is with an insecure bully for a baby daddy, as my younger ES is with a loony baby mama. I don't understand why they put up with these type of folk. Especially when his own family tells her what a bad bet he is! It's so hard to be on the sidelines and just wait for a moment with them, but it sounds like, between you and your hubby, you got to convey many good thoughts and loving support to her, which is awesome. And you got to spend some time with the lil' one, and give HER a break from what sounds to me to be a madhouse!
Good luck with the hubby health, VB. Sorry you're ED is being the way she is..as i am about all of our EO's, but you just gotta move on and know that this is on her, not you.
GL's, all! -
Reply #33 05/08/12 6:38am
3 years of silence from 2 sons....the most abusive of tactics. They learned this from their mentally ill father who cut off his parents and sister. Very sad to see them pattern his behavior. All three of them, my two sons and ex husband also shun my 23 year old daughter...this is heartbreaking. I can handle the abuse but watching what they do to my daughter is devastating. -
Reply #34 05/08/12 8:34am
I agree the silence is abusive that we recieve from them.
In my own case with semi ED if she percieves any one thing said in a corrective or disapproving light that is a sure sign we would be banished to stand in the corner under the cone of silence.
In fact this very day it has been about 2 wks since we spoke and probably took something in the convo and used it to justify the doling out of more silence.
Only problem is
her dad was hospitalized Fri for chest pain he had whole at work.
So while sitting for hours in the ER with him and no cell service, I tapped into the public wi-fi and put a prayer request out on FB.
In the next 2 hrs we had over 30 responses. NONE from ED, who usually checks that a jillion times a day.
So once home and settled her Dad called. Of course - voice mail....(she NEVER listens to messages).
That was Friday...here we are on Tues - nothing....and the week before she eas commenting on pics we'd posted. Hubby expected that over the weekend she would message or call - nothing...
As a matter of fact she posted on Facebook about 2:30 am on Sun Morning she was still out with friends dsncing at a club preparing for Cinco de Mayo ... not with her husband of 6 mths who insists all the time she is perfect in every way and happy....NO she's just found a closer victim to manipulate and not be told "no" is the real situation....
Go figure,...
Could she be in denial of the possibility we could be frail humans subject to heath issues and won't just be on the shelf to pick up at whim????
Who knows?
I told my hubby who now has been twice on the receiving end of her shelving in silence - welcome to my world.... -
Reply #35 05/08/12 9:40am
Yea, this is our second silent estrangement from our daughter. The first one lasted 2 years, this one is going on a full year this August. I feel like I've had my right arm cut off and it is continually bleeding.
Thanks to recently joining this group and all of the wonderful supportive people here, I'm working on
moving on with my life.
The silent treatment is very hard to deal with, I mean if she was yelling at me or sending me nasty texts/emails, maybe I could get a clue what is behind all of this.
But, conversely, SILENCE IS GOLDEN -
Reply #36 05/08/12 12:42pm
Yes silence since July.....In July she came home for awhile, things fell apart as we knew it would. Before last July it was silence for 3 years! She hates us all and has disowned us all! -
Reply #37 05/08/12 12:42pm
Yes silence since July.....In July she came home for awhile, things fell apart as we knew it would. Before last July it was silence for 3 years! She hates us all and has disowned us all!
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Do you have adult children, who have blamed you for everything wrong in their childhood, lost contact either through addiction, divorce, or in laws? No phone calls for birthdays, Mother's day, just no communication. How do you cope with the emptiness, the painful loss of not having your children in your life? *WARNING*: Read this note about privacy: http://www.dailystrength.org/people/548/journal/1802327
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