Discussion Topic

The Castaways

Posted on 12/07/11, 12:01 pm
Some recent posts have spoken about EC (estranged adult children) "throwing away" their parents. The posts mentioned EC hitting the "ignore" button when their parents call. The posts have referenced EC shunning their parents. The posts told about EC keeping not only the parents away, but also their grandchildren. I've read in the posts about EC telling their parents that they aren't their parents anymore. I've read that parents are being blocked on email and unfriended on Facebook. I've heard of EC excluding their parents from holidays, weddings, graduations and refusing to attend family funerals. The list of rejecting behavior choices from EC goes on. So I guess our EC think we are Castaways?

Well, I also read in books and magazines that part of "separating" behaviors are normal for teens and young adults and sometimes even older adults as a way to enter adulthood. I've also read about "rebellion" a normal part of growing up for some people.

Ok - maybe so. However, making behavior choices to treat your own parents in such disrespectful and hurtful ways is not normal in my opinion. Sadly, I think its becoming an acceptable trend in this day and age where EC can hit "ignore" buttons, "unfriend" and "block" the very parents who raised them, fed them, nursed them through illness, clothed them, paid for their education, etc.

So what have we become? Castaways? I don't think so. Even if they hit ignore buttons, block emails, unfriend us on Facebook, shun us, etc., we will forever be their parents. That's a fact. They can choose to "throw US away", but they can't throw away the fact that we are forever their parents and their children's grandparents. Further, though they do not realize it, we are irreplaceable. They can have pseudo families, but they aren't the real thing. They can choose to dispose of us as if we don't matter, but the truth is that we are indisposable. We are a part of their family history forever. They can choose to block us on email, but they won't be able to block reality and the reality is that we are still their parents. They can unfriend us on Facebook, but we are still the best friend they ever had. They can shun us, but we will still loom large in this world as their parents.

So fellow "castaways" take heart, the "island" we live on now is filled with wonderful, decent, strong, irreplaceable, indisposable parents who deserve love, honor and respect from their adult children.
Showing 1 - 10 of 19 Replies
  • Reply #1 12/07/11  12:11pm
    Amen
  • Reply #2 12/07/11  12:16pm
    Well said. Thank you.
  • Reply #3 12/07/11  12:36pm
    Beautifully well said...hank you
  • Reply #4 12/07/11  1:09pm
    Right-on, Maria!
  • Reply #5 12/07/11  4:40pm
    I swear I sent them the memo about this very subject, but they obviously never recieved it or accidently shredded it thinking it was a bill!
    Too bad EO don't live in the same reality world as the rest of us "normal" folks.
  • Reply #6 12/07/11  9:26pm
    MariaSteve - you are truly wonderful!
  • Reply #7 12/07/11  10:50pm
    Thanks everyone. On that beautiful island of castaways, where the sun will always shine and the water is clear and blue, I am in good company with strong, brave and wonderful parents.
  • Reply #8 12/07/11  11:23pm
    I happened to be in a conversaton today with another co-worker about something completely different, and she volunteered that her husband had a 25 year old daughter who refuses to talk to her father until he divorces his wife, my co worker. Where do these kids get off? This has to be an epidemic. I agree, we need to band together and get strength from each other. We are good people who got the shaft.
  • Reply #9 12/07/11  11:38pm
    HoneyCrisp - your co-worker's step-daughter is attempting to use the 'divide and conquer' gambit to gain control.
  • Reply #10 12/07/11  11:42pm
    Yes, you are right Nightsky! Her husband has had a lot of health issues, and I believe they stem from the daughter and her antics. I was tempted to talk to her about my situation, but I am afraid to say too much in my work situation.

Welcome

Join This Group

Do you have adult children, who have blamed you for everything wrong in their childhood, lost contact either through addiction, divorce, or in laws? No phone calls for birthdays, Mother's day, just no communication. How do you cope with the emptiness, the painful loss of not having your children in your life? *WARNING*: Read this note about privacy: http://www.dailystrength.org/people/548/journal/1802327