Is this why our children hate us and think they were abused?Posted on 04/21/11, 06:28 am
Majority Of Parents Abuse Children, Children Report
APRIL 13, 2007 | ISSUE 43•15
LOS ANGELES—A chilling national poll of U.S. children ages 3 through 12 estimated that
nearly 75 million youngsters suffer both physical and psychological abuse at the hands of
their parents on a daily basis. The poll, whose findings are part of a 700-page report released Tuesday by a
coalition of child abuse monitoring and prevention organizations, indicts nearly 95 percent of American parents. It documents abuses ranging from less severe offenses, such as children being denied snacks just before dinner, to more egregious, long-term cases of neglect, such as never ever getting what they want, ever. "My parents always tell me that I have to finish all my math homework or I won't be allowed to watch TV," said study participant and abuse victim "Derek," 10, who told researchers that some of his earliest memories were of this kind of mistreatment. "They're so mean. I hate them." "I hate them, I hate them, I hate them," he added. Encouraged to speak freely and confidentially about their home lives, subjects shocked even seasoned child welfare advocates with tales of systematic deprival and gratuitous cruelty. One Illinois boy told of being forced to linger with his mother in fabric stores and later leaving a Toys "R" Us empty-handed, even though the store sold a water gun he really wanted. An Arkansas 9-year-old said he spent all of third grade carrying a boring brown backpack instead of a super-cool Spider-Man one like a friend, whose parents love him, had. And a 6-year-old girl from Wisconsin was forced to sit at a dining room table for nearly two hours until she finished her canned green beans, a food widely considered by poll respondents to be disgusting and suitable only for adults. "To hear the sadness in these kids' voices when they talk about how they are scared—literally scared—to bring home poor report cards, is heartbreaking," said Dr. Deirdre Fulton, child psychologist and director of the Nationwide Coalition to End Child Abuse, who co-authored the study. "Some of the children we interviewed even wished they were dead so their parents would feel guilty at their funerals." "No child should ever wish to die," Fulton added. According to pollsters, most victims were surprisingly open, even eager, to discuss their abuse, although some were less forthcoming about traumatic experiences that involved inappropriate touching. "It's so embarrassing, and everybody sees it," said 7-year-old "Harry," whose mother hugs and kisses him goodbye in front of the school bus every day. "When it's happening, I close my eyes and wish it would stop, but it just goes on forever."
Other victims recounted similar forms of privacy invasion, such as being asked if they were wearing clean
underwear, and being stripped naked and made to bathe, even after clearly stating that they did not need a bath.
Hair is another focus of unseemly pathological fixations, many children allege: Six out of 10 girls interviewed said that their mothers routinely and painfully pull, twist, and tug their hair into "stupid" hairstyles like pigtails, and some boys said that their mothers go so far as to use saliva to paste their hair into place.
According to the report, a shocking 100 percent of children who claimed to have been abused said their parents repeatedly answered "maybe" to a request, and then withheld from them a definitive answer for hours or, in some cases, days. In addition to those who admitted to being touched inappropriately, 93 percent of children said they have, at one point or another, been subject to various types of physical abuse. "My parents make me practice the piano for like 20 hours a day," said 8-year-old "Lacy," adding that sometimes she will hide in her closet to avoid rehearsal. "They told me if I hate it so much I can quit when I'm in seventh grade. That's like 40 years from now."
Some children, mostly boys, have even been pressed into brutal physical labor by their fathers, who demand their sons help them in the yard on Saturdays—one of only two days off for children who spend an average of 600 hours a week at school. "He treats me like a slave," 12-year-old "Michael" said. "It's like it's my fault that my dad decided to buy a house with a lawn. And then when I do help, he says I shouldn't have had a bad attitude about it." "Mom just sits there and lets the entire thing happen," "Michael" added.
In some of the more disturbing cases of abuse, parents reportedly take a domineering interest in their children's social lives, often threatening severe but undefined punishment for not being home by dark. Some children said their parents attempt to cut them off completely from the outside world, making many websites and television channels inaccessible and never letting them hang out with their friends.
Reply #1 04/21/11 6:50am
Is this for real or it trying to demonstrate through sarcasm how ridiculous these allegations are? Well then, let's just throw discipline out the window entirely. Can't smack the butt. Now "time outs" are considered abusive. What the ___?
Reply #2 04/21/11 7:01am
Please tell me this is a joke. How completely insane to think of an educated professional telling children they have been abused for things such as this. My husband who is a 4th grade teachr, said well if this is so I may be out of a job, because what child wants to go to school everyday. We might as well throw discipline out the window. If this is not a joke, it is the scariest thing I have ever heard. Can you imagine living in a world with these spoiled brats running the country? I am sure they would have all their elders executed so as not to have to care for them.
Reply #3 04/21/11 7:04am
Kinda says it all.......agree with mariessa......is this for real??!!
If so, a real testament to the "entitlement generation".
Reminds me of story w/ED......here she was pregnant by married black man (who'll take no responsibility), intending to keep baby.....on welfare even though she has two major areas with which to earn a living.
So, she's telling me about a man she met (he's a father of adult daughter) who had SUCH a great job.....provided w/housing in pricey Colorado area, excellent wages/benefits.....I asked why he'd given it up? She replied, "So he could move close to and be of help to his pregnant unwed daughter." (man was part time employed, struggling to make ends meet now....economy, age descrimination)
Trust me, implication here was I should do the same.........yeah, Mariessa........WTF?
Reply #4 04/21/11 7:08am
Ok so since we as humans are so socially inept at childrearing, then I suppose the alternative is to raise children in packs of wolves. Our generation was bombarded with psychological "professional" advice on how to discipline WITHOUT being abusive. Now that's considered abusive? Horrible thought here- maybe we won't want to know our beloved grandchildren after our EC get finished raising them. Scares me to think how socially inept they will be. Folks we won't have to worry about America no longer being the worlds leader due to international issues. Our socirty will destroy it self from within. Very frightening.
Reply #5 04/21/11 7:27am
Have to add this for "scary where things are going".
Watched good ole Dr. Phil one day.....topic was "cheating" in college and huge percentage students in audience admitted that yes, they cheated.......after all, expectations were so high, how else could they achieve??? One student said, gosh it is so hard, I need to take prescription meds (speed) just to keep up (poor me).....what else am I to do in order to succeed??
Sorry folks, some of these students will one day be in the medical profession??? Aaarrrggghhh.
Reply #6 04/21/11 7:33am
Ok. I remember 2 science "fiction" movies in the 1960s and 70s. Logans Run and silus green. Didn't they systematically exterminate their elders? Is fiction going to become nonfiction?
Reply #7 04/21/11 7:39am
Pragmatically, we need to research the authenticity of this particular study before we all go off the deep end and overreact.
Reply #8 04/21/11 7:40am
It has to be a joke guys!! But doesn't it just prove what weve been saying all along? Fantastic piece of writing lmao
Reply #9 04/21/11 7:53am
found the original post in a news source called the ONION---never heard of it going to look further into it. However, I am thinking of sending this to my Son so he won't make the same mistakes I did.
Reply #10 04/21/11 7:54am
OK found it---it is a satire of news-----not real
1. Searching the internet will bring up a variety of support groups, blogs, and articles, some of which are designed to support estranged parents and others to support estranged adult children. Some of these latter sites may trigger unpleasant feelings that are difficult to deal with. If you wish to investigate the estranged children sites, please do so very carefully, if at all, and only if you feel strong enough. 2. Only members can post here, but anyone can read what is written here. Plea