You may want to post this question on Cheaters Anononymous. I think there are a lot more active members there. And people that may be able to answer this.
I can't answer this, because I don't truly love my H. I broke it off with the OM almost 2 years ago to work on my marriage and it hasn't worked out for us. Those feelings for my H disappeared long ago.
I'm in the beginning process of a divorce, not because of the XOM, but because of what lead me to the om & what was missing in our marriage.
To be honest, I still have feelings for the XOM, but I won't have a relationship until I'm divorced.
You mentioned the excitement, that's true. New relationships are exciting, all the hormones that flow and all the adrenaline..... It takes time, then people realize that the OM/OW isn't perfect. They have their flaws too.
I hope you and your H can work things out. Another group you many want to check out is the Rebuilding after Infidelity.
Best wishes to you
Discussion Topic
dont wanna be bitter!
Posted on 08/07/09, 02:53 am
i joined this group to help forgive my H. i was cheated on. i promise not to use hurtful words towards anyone here...my hurt lies soley within my H and im trying notot become bitter toward people who have had A's. im sure if your in this support group and you are the one who cheated i would genuinely love to thank you for doing that little extra and trying to make yourselves, mariiage, whatever the case may be better. im sure your H/W ask the same ?'s over and over and over again. i figure its easier to ask a "stranger" from behind a computer screen cause chances are honesty will arrive. anyhow here is my ? if you had an affair, and lets say you decided you truly loved your wife or hubby, and wanted to work and fight for your marriage... do you still think or fantasize about the OW/OM? i need to know. my H says he doesnt but everyday he realizes he needs to do everything and anything he can for our family because he came so close to losing us. my take on it is damn! i think about it everyday almost costantly.... how could he not. i know its been said that affairs begin or continue because of the excitement.. does that feeling or want still linger? i would fantasize about the first time my H and i were together our first kiss and first everything else.... does he? i need honest answers..... please help. thanks!
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Reply #1 08/07/09 4:31pm
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Reply #2 08/07/09 5:26pm
thank you oh sooo much. -
Reply #3 10/19/09 9:46am
After all these years, He was still my fantasy, while he was with OW, he was still my dream guy and my lover only to find he had moved on to something new and different and I guess I was ' the old woman - familiar, same ole' same ole' in his life. that really hurts to think how much in love I was still and he didn't feel the same way.
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For those who are done with their affair and want to make things better. Please be respectful of others in your posts. Rants, tirades, replies that are off topic, etc. will be deleted.
