JenCrySmiles

WHAT KIND OF MOM ARE YOU??

Posted on 10/19/09, 06:07 am

HOW DO YOU THINK YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOM (OR THE LACK THEREOF) HAS AFFECTED THE WAY YOU PARENT?

FOR ME I THINK IT MADE ME MORE OF A CUDDLER AND I TELL MY KIDS ALL THE TIME HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. THOSE ARE THINGS MY MOM DOES NOT DO WITH ME. I ALSO TRY TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND
BE SUPPORTIVE.

• Reply #1 10/23/09  4:46pm
  
  InvertedBeauty
  I am not a Mother yet, but I work with children for a living so I will respond in terms of how I work with the kids.
  
  I am definitely a cuddler as well. Not only with the kids I work with, but with my boyfriend as well. I yearn to be cuddled and to cuddle him. I'm really glad that he's open to me being cuddly. With the kids I work with, I'm more than willing to hold them close, give them long hugs or kisses on their foreheads. I see kids and remember my train of thought at that age and it breaks my heart. They all yearn and cry for love and affection. But I never got it. It makes me sad about my past, but makes me that much more motivated to give the kids what I never had.
  
  I do not hit children. EVER. If the kids are doing something they are not supposed to, yes I will grab them to stop them from running or like yesterday I stuck my foot out to get a kid to stop running toys into kids heads. He ran the toy into my foot and it brought him to a screeching halt...and tears of course because it scared him lol. But when he started crying, I did NOT ignore him and tell him to get over it.
  
  I try very hard to listen to all of them. The girls especially are so incredibly eager to talk, and I was never listened to or acknowledged. It gets difficult sometimes, but I try my best to listen to and participate in their conversations.
  
  With my own children, I will tell them I love them, EVERYDAY, multiple times a day. I'll go out and play with them and spend time with them just Mommy and child even once they get past that "cute innocent" stage. I will never raise a hand to them . I will never put them down and tell them they are worthless or anything of that sort. I will never ignore them. I will never favor them over another child. I will never threaten to kick them out. I will never ground them for 1.5 years and confine them to their rooms for that amount of time, and stick to it. I will always be kind, firm, stable, and loving to my children.
  
  I will be EVERYTHING my parents never were. And I can't WAIT to have that opportunity.
  
  I AM BREAKING THE CYCLE!!!

She gave us life and brought us into the world. So why do things have to be so difficult? This group is for anyone who has issues with their Mom and would like support in dealing with it. Together maybe we can get a better understanding of why and how to deal with it.