Calii

Dating/men/sex

Posted on 08/11/09, 12:18 pm

I get hit on by guys...but it's only cuz they see my face pic. They say I am hot...but that would change if they seen a body pic of me.

I want to see what it's like to have sex with another man other than my ex. My ex has hurt me so bad that the sex sucks and it's only sex. Not love.

I've always had a weight problem and struggle everyday. You'd think it be enough for me to lose weight with guys hitting on me , but it's not. I would like to experience dating, but I feel like I don't deserve it being at the weight I am at. (plus i'm single with 2 kids)

What is it like with you all? Do you face this also?

• Reply #1 08/12/09  6:27pm
  
  lyne45
  in some ways i am the same. i am an incest survivor so that plays alot into it. i try to lose weight but once people start commenting on the fact that they can tell i have lost some weight i binge eat. the things we do to are selves is just crazy sometimes. lyne45
• Reply #2 09/12/09  6:30am
  
  Mars
  Oh Calii, I am going to echo your words back in another way... fat people do not deserve to date.
  
  Ouch! So love is only for skinny people? The beautiful people? The perfect people? Oh no... that is a lie told to us by advertisers and Hollywood, it's soooooooo not true! You, me, all of us... we ALL deserve love, to love and be loved... it is not reserved for those who wear a certain size. But we hear those lies from all angles until we start to believe it, use it to put ourselves down, and then what do we do? Reach for comfort foods?
  
  I learned something when I went on a vacation with a skinny gorgeous friend when I was 22... we were staying at this motel on the beach and a really cute guy checked into the room next door. He stopped to talk for a minute, had somewhere to go... my skinny friend was so sure that when he came back, he would ask her out so while he was gone she was already primping to go out... sure enough, he knocked on the door when he got back, and shock of shocks.... he asked ME out.
  
  Go people watching in a mall or somewhere, just sit and watch people go by... see who is with who... sometimes there will be some fine looking people with someone most people would wonder what the hell he sees in her or her in him.
  
  I have out-weighed every man I have ever dated except one... and some of these men were some fine looking men that looked like they could have any woman they wanted, and they picked me. I think it has something to do with some vibe you throw out... when you feel bad about yourself you throw out a different vibe than when you feel good about yourself - no one has ever asked me out when I felt bad about myself so I think attraction has a lot to do with those vibes, how you feel about your own self and it kind of makes me sad to see you hurting this way as it does hurt to feel like you don't deserve love.
  
  Google a poem by Maya Angelou, print it out or buy the book by the same title and put it somewhere where you see it often... it's called Phenomenal Woman. Read it until you believe it.

For people who are CURRENTLY morbidly obese by definition. 100 + lbs overweight. If you want to talk about things without being judged or pressured by skinny people telling us how to lose weight, then you will be welcome here. Not meant to be an angry group, but a emotional support group. Please no harassing or bullying. Thank you.