Poem to Estranged DaughterPosted on 03/17/12, 01:33 pm
Reply #1 03/17/12 1:48pm
Thanks for this post, laruseca ! It's interesting how so much can be said with so few words, at times...
I am estranged from my two sons. I have no other children. I really think...hard as it is to be estranged from my sons, it would be much harder to deal with if they were daughters. I guess it's the whole programming we've gone through about "sisterhood" amongst women. That, due to our shared gender, the bond would be stronger. Obviously, that's been a myth that's overplayed, but it's still there...
It's just very important that you're not only working this out for yourself, but for who knows how many untold others that need help through these awful estrangements. Many have a hard time putting all...or any... of this into words, but they still need to have the words in order to begin their healing...& you're post and links help us...
Reply #2 03/17/12 2:54pm
laru,,,this is so very sad...so many people in hurting situations like this,,I don't nor will I ever understand what becomes of those little girls/boys to think they have no one to love or loves them....Thanks for the post,,we must really try and reach out to all of those in our group to try and be at peace with all these estrangements,,,
Reply #3 03/17/12 11:12pm
Reply #4 03/17/12 11:39pm
yeah "MisticDay" this is how I read it also. I oh so could relate. I often wonder if I will pass and we still wont make it as friends all on her account. Did you write this "Laruseca"? thanks for sharing
Reply #5 03/18/12 7:55am
Yes, I agree it is to the ED saying she can't handle the arguments and blaming her mom for loss of self-esteem. I think many of us know we've had disagreements with our kids and I would guess some hold those memories as put-downs when we were just telling them they should dress more appropriately or get a hair cut. I would imagine these issues build in their minds and the unraveling of our relationship begins. Do any of you agree?
Reply #6 03/18/12 8:32am
No, I did not write the poem, but as I re-read this I do agree it is the daughter writing. I had looked one up for a mother to her daughter, which would apply to me, and most of it was indeed something I would write to my daughter. She always judged me and was a child and now an adult that needed to be in control. If she could not control her peers when growing up, she wanted nothing to do with them. This need to control grew stronger into adulthood and after my husband died, it seemed she wanted full control of my life. Unfortunately we are now estranged. Thanks for sharing and sorry for the mix up. I am not detail oriented.
Reply #7 03/18/12 10:57am
Sorry, I meant to say FROM the ED. laruseca, we were all judged obviously which I guess is not uncommon, but some just hold their grudges and act on them where others go on about life.
Estrangement breaks a parent's heart. We are devastated and often unable to recover alone. Our estranged parents will help you overcome your fears and depression and will show you that you can have a life after your Adult Children leave. Family and friends don't understand our pain. We offer friendship and knowledge of how to survive the darkest emotional state in a 'safe' environment.. We invite you to CHAT and heal with us. Off-Topics permitted. Kindness is mandatory .