yes you are... I'm only 21 but sometimes I relate with you (I'm a very patience person hehe), the point is that when you're looking for something really desseperaly you won't be able to find anything (at least anything good because you will not be chosing being based on the person but being based on your needs... just relax, there is a time for everything and everyone, when you're calm you see a lot more things you didn't even realized before, maybe the person is really nera you but you haven't been able to see her because you are so focussed on the wrong things.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding like your mother or something hehe... I tend to do that sometimes with some of my friends, bad habbit... well... have a great day, hope all my yara-yara had been useful for you. hugs :)
Discussion Topic
where do i begin?
Posted on 04/02/09, 11:25 am
I'm an "almost" 40 lesbian. I have been single since May of 2005. Prior to that I was in a long term relationship with what I thought was the love of my life. Basically, she lost a lot of weight (due to weight loss surgery)...and on a beautiful spring Sunday in May of 2005, she walked out of our home never to return. So I have taken these years following the breakup to find and fix myself. Now...I'm ready to date...maybe? I'm angry that I'm pushing 40 and do not have what I've always wanted. A partner, perhaps kids...basically my very own family. Something I didn't have as a child. So now that I'm at this point of my journey...where to I find good women? In the past few months...I have found myself back in the bar scene. Being self-destructive, drinking too much and flirting with women who are probably straight with a lot of problems. It's like now that I'm lonely and waited so long to let myself even think of women...that now I'm desperate. I don't want to be desperate. I don't want to choose the wrong people. Am I making sense? : )
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Reply #1 04/06/09 5:19pm
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Reply #2 04/06/09 5:21pm
oh about the comment "Yes you are"...that was about your question about if you were making sense jeje
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Reply #3 04/06/09 6:13pm
I'm probably not the best with advice because I have no idea where to find good women. I went through the same sorta thing though with having a hard time finding good women. I'm from a really small town in Virginia and the closest clubs where in DC and I was not finding mrs wonderful there lol. I actually found my partner on Glee.com its kinda like a gay myspace haha. If you dont use it, you should sign up its pretty cool. Sad to say it but most times we feel we can only try to find people at clubs and bars, but puts us at a disadvantage. Most of our "dream" women arent the women that frequent bars. Keep your head up and keep smiling, the one will come along and comment on your smile. you will know her when you see her. Good luck! -
Reply #4 05/02/09 11:18pm
I found the love of my life on the internet she was from New Mexico and I was from Pennsylvania. We started just talking and then it turned into the best thing to happen to me in my life. I have since moved to New Mexico and live with her and her family of 5 kids it is where I wanna be and I am in love and she is my life. The bars only cause trouble for me, as I am an alcoholic and my last drink actually did kill me but they brought me back and I am so grateful. You will find your soul mate when you least expect it to happen and when it does you will be ready and it will take your breathe away. It did mine and I am so grateful. Good luck and keep you chin up. -
Reply #5 09/08/09 5:17am
I can relate with your problem; I have been single now for about 6 years now and I am 43. My hope is that you have found a lady to take the blues away. Myself, I tend to occupy my time and energy with work and/or school until I am ready to take the plunge. I am not sure where to find the good women out there; I just trust that when the time is right and I am ready for a relationship providence will place me in the right place and at the right time -
Reply #6 09/09/09 9:46pm
I agree, I like Glee.com for an online social setting, plentyoffish.com for free online dating service, but my favorite of all is Match.com, I am partial to it because that is where my wonderful, beautiful wife and I met nearly five years ago. :0) -
Reply #7 10/02/09 4:21pm
I can relate to your circumstance. But one thing to keep in mind, its a circumstance and circumstances change. I was lonley for about 10 years. I kind of put myself there...I was out when i was younger, known i was lesbian but I took the easy route or i thought it was easy and went back into the 'closet' lifestyle. Lived my life single for about 15 years. The first few years i was happy, had lots of friends and did alot of other time consuming things. My life was full, until i started feeling emotionally and all around lonly. Needed a close, loving relationship. When i came out, i lost all my friends except 1. I was single for 5 years, didnt know where to turn. and I wasnt a club or bar person. So I was at a loss. I decided one day to put an ad out and i found a few friends, and dated! I was so out of the dating scene.
but i did find a very compassionate caring loving woman whom stands with me and accepts me! I believe sometimes we just need to take the chance to try something out of the ordinary. I understand about the lonliness you feel and the desperation. But you deserve a relationship that is loving, secure and committed...:-) if you want you can message me and maybe we can get a chance to share? im open.
mschar -
Reply #8 10/02/09 4:21pm
I can relate to your circumstance. But one thing to keep in mind, its a circumstance and circumstances change. I was lonley for about 10 years. I kind of put myself there...I was out when i was younger, known i was lesbian but I took the easy route or i thought it was easy and went back into the 'closet' lifestyle. Lived my life single for about 15 years. The first few years i was happy, had lots of friends and did alot of other time consuming things. My life was full, until i started feeling emotionally and all around lonly. Needed a close, loving relationship. When i came out, i lost all my friends except 1. I was single for 5 years, didnt know where to turn. and I wasnt a club or bar person. So I was at a loss. I decided one day to put an ad out and i found a few friends, and dated! I was so out of the dating scene.
but i did find a very compassionate caring loving woman whom stands with me and accepts me! I believe sometimes we just need to take the chance to try something out of the ordinary. I understand about the lonliness you feel and the desperation. But you deserve a relationship that is loving, secure and committed...:-) if you want you can message me and maybe we can get a chance to share? im open.
mschar
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