Try to forgive yourself. Sometimes we want to let go and move on, but we can't until we forgive ourselves. Sometimes writing a letter to yourself forgiving yourself can be very healing. Sometimes we have a war going on in our minds...one side says "you stupid idiot" (or something like that) and the other side is saying "forgive me". Bringing those two sides into harmony is so important. My counselor taught me to actually have one side in one hand and the other side in the other hand and have them talk it out until they can make peace and come together in love and forgiveness. It's kind of a visual way of doing it, but it always helps me. Just do it in private or people will think you've lost it. But you are suffering inside because of this division inside of you.
I hope you can forgive yourself so that you can move on. Remember that we are not perfect and we do make mistakes and that's ok, just pick yourself up and move on knowing that you've grown because you've learned from your mistakes.
Discussion Topic
How to stop living in the past.
Posted on 09/13/09, 02:38 pm
Hello, I made mistakes that eventually caused the end of a great relationship. She has longed sinced moved on and I'm still stuck in this rut of coulda shoulda woulda and its tearing me up inside. I no longer believe in myself and I'm full of so much regret and guilt. I really want to move on with my life I need to, but every time I try my mind takes me back in time and the cylce of self destruction starts all over again. I don't know what to do anymore I just don't want to feel this way and I want to move forward. Any advice I would appreciate, Thank you
-
Reply #1 09/14/09 10:41am
-
Reply #2 09/16/09 2:24am
I'm the Queen of living in the past. I constantly think of things I did wrong or decisions I should have made differently and how it's MY fault that my life is the way it is right now....and there's the hopeless feeling that no matter what I do, it's never going to change.
The only advice I can give you is that unlike Superman, you can't change the past. As much as you'd like to...it is what it is. But you can learn from it. Write down how you feel and then go back and read it like it was someone else. What would you tell that person? There is this great book on depression...I can't remember title/author (it's past 2am) but in it, he describes how alot of depression is caused by how we think in absolutes...and life is far from absolute most of the time. If you are interested, message me, I'll find the name and author, it's very interesting.
Oh and by the way *hugs* It'll be better, I truly believe so. -
Reply #3 11/07/09 4:04pm
I wear the crown for this... the slightest thing triggers my emotions and pays my way back down memory lane. I hate it when that happens, because then the tears begin to fall and I begin to feel awlful. I want to run home, and pick up where I left off. It irritates me when my friends tell me that this is normal, this will pass and even though I know this is true, I can't stand living this way. I just want the pain to stop, I want to feel normal, I want to stop this excessive, incessent crying ALL THE TIME....I want to just reach in and pull him out of my brain and heart. But, then there's reality. I have to take it hour by hour and day by day... They say this too shall pass, but I'm afraid my hair will be completely white or I'll be bald by then.
Let's hang in there together. I don't always succeed, but I'll verbally say "STOP" and try and think of something else.... or read...anything to take my mind off of what I lost, and try to focus on what I've gained, MY FREEDOM, MY PEACE OF MIND....
Welcome
Join This Group
This is a group for people who struggle to accept and love themselves for who they are. I hope that members will share there real feelings and the postive ways in which they are starting to love themselves more
