You need to begin learning these new spelling rules .
Contact your local embassy for extension courses in your
area. If unable to attend, purchase "Hooked on Phonics". Be sure to get the
Euro-English edition.

European English :
The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European Union
rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are
possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze
drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking
German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza
pepl