1. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If
you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will
get back to you.
2.Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets.
3.Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If
you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend
me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female,
don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
4.This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording
device.. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for
calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.