This year has been one of sadness, uncertainty, a complete shadow of darkness.
As I struggle with what I know and believe, I continue to emerge from the darkness of grief.

I head out to get Christmas under control. On my way, I pray to the Blessed Mother and Mother Theresa to guide me, keep me focused and supply me with the energy I am going to need in order to make it through this hectic time.

As I am driving, I am aware that it has been some time since I last heard â??Who knewâ?? a song that has come to symbolize that Dennis is indeed around. For the last nine months this song has played at the oddest of times. In the beginning it was constant. To the point where on one occasion I had demanded that he give me a sign and sure enough there it was. Another time being, Alex needing me at 2:30 in the morning and as I prayed to the Heavens and asking Dennis to watch over her until I could get to her, again, the song was there. Too many times ~ too fitting the words ~ with all of my heart I believe without a doubt ~ itâ??s one way for him to connect.

Why would today be any different? As I enter the mall, Christmas is all around. From the decorations, to the music, to Santa smiling as the youngsters approach with a twinkle in their eyes. Oh the beauty of innocence. As I walk through the Mall, â??Iâ??ll be home for Christmasâ?? echoing from the speakers over head, I pass a stand with itâ??s own music playing, â??Who knewâ?? stopping in my tracks, my heart skipping a beat, a smile and tear forming at the same time. What were the chances? Had the Blessed Mother and Mother Theresa summoned Dennis to assist today? Perhaps.

I make it to the first store, as I approach the counter to pay, I notice a penny, another sign? I smile again, pick it up, and thank Heaven for the signs. As I make it through the next store, as I am cashing out, I notice another coin ~ this one reads â??Destinyâ?? ~ â??I donâ??t know how, I donâ??t know when, but you and I will meet againâ?? As I look through the box, knowing there had to be more than just this one coin, I would buy a few and give them as gifts to others missing loved ones, itâ??s the only one. Thank you again.

The size of the package is perfect. For the one picture I have of Dennis is a wallet sized photo of him and his youngest son. I will make this into a ornament and hang it on my tree. A reminder of the man that I fell in love with, a man that would change my life forever. A man that will continue to watch over me until we meet again.

After shopping I get back to my car, turn on the radio, â??Calling all Angelsâ?? is spilling out of my speakers. Again, not believing in coincidence, the lyrics â??I need a sign, to let me now youâ??re hereâ?? confirms for me, how blessed I am to believe and receive such signs.
Driving home, a Red tail Hawk hovers above me ~ I had to giggle to myself ~ how fortune am I to have been so blessed in one day?

All I had asked for Christmas this year, from the good Lord, was for a little Christmas magic ~ Thank you Lord ~ Amen (Dec.13,2008)