My husband walked out on me 6wk,s before christmas and i never had any indication that there was anything wrong in my marriage,sadly he finally moved out so that he could move into his flat with his tart,well it has now supposed to be over and he has been made redundant,i am in hospital at the moment because i broke my back,i was hoping i,d get to go home today sadly i.ve now got a fever and i can,t keep anything down,so i have to stay in,to be honest i really do feel rough today,my stbx however is trying to worm his way back into my life but i am not willing to take him back anymore,it has taken me month,s to get over the heartache of what he did to me,yet now he think,s i,ll just forget what he did and take him back!well he thought wrong! before he left i told him,if you are going to walk out on me then remember i will never ever take you back,once you have been to bed with another woman then just remember this i will NEVER have you back,he laughed and told me,i deserve a bloody medal for putting up with you,not many men would have stood by you! he really hurt me, this man i thought i knew had turned into a total stranger,this man i had a child with,this man i gave my very soul to had turned into a stranger,i thought i would never ever get over this,but thank,s to our son i have at last realised just how happy i can be now,i,ve realised that this man had turned me from a confidant happy woman into a needy wife who kept seeking assurance that i was wanted and loved,i have lived with acute chronic pain and i am on dialysis as well as chemo for cancer of the bladder and remainding kidney,which had to be removed,now i,m seeing just what a control freak my stbx is,now that it hasen,t worked out with his whore he seem,s to think that he can come back as if nothing had ever happened,this man who constantly put me down and who manipulated me to this needy woman,i let him put me down verbally,i allowed this man to hurt me physically and mentally,he only hit me three time,s [three times to many!]when we first met i thought he was my knight in shining armour,how bloody wrong i was!i didn,t realise just what he had done to me,i would never have allowed anyone to put me down verbally or physically but my stbx was clever he over the 25+Yrs had turned me into someone he wanted me to be,it took him leaving me to realise just how bloody stupid i have been,yes i am ill,i have got health issues and i thought no one would ever want me again,now ? well i have moved on,yes i am sick ,yes i get lonely but the one thing my stbx can,t ever take away from me is the love of my son,our son has always been very close to the two of us,but he showed me today that no matter how much his dad tries to manipulate him into being nasty about me,my son has seen his dad for what he is,yes callum loves his dad,but today he showed me just how much he loves me, he stood up to his dad in front of me and told him,"dad,i never realised just why mum was always so moody and uptight before you came home from work,i thought she was just a misery,now since you,ve been gone the house is a happy house,not a house with an atomosphere,and now you are trying to get mum to have you back after the way you treated her,then i think you are crazy,he then looked at me and told me,"Mum if you take dad back please make sure it,s what you really want" today i told my stbx that i am going ahead with the divorce,yes i am sick but i have friends who are more than willings to help me, and i am back to the person i once was,my son still see,s his dad but thanks to my friends on D/S and my friends here i know no matter what i will never be alone and i have the love of the one person who i love with all my heart and that,s my son,i thank god for my son,i,m in a daily battle with chronic pain 24/7 and i am fighting cancer,if i can continue my battle with cancer then i can deal with a control freak who was once my loyal loving husband so healing together is very apt,thank you for all of your help shaz x