Well, technically, your inner child IS you...it's you of the past. And she holds all perspective and memories we don't remember. She chooses what we remember. If it's too painful for us...then she keeps it from us. Blocks it out. But in time, there will be something that will pop out of nowhere and you'll wonder where it came from. It came from her.
Your doctor isn't right though, to NOT address this. I believe that when you hear her retaliate listen to what it is she's angry about...part of the reason that I BELIEVE our inner child acts out...is not only because things might feel unsafe...but because she's warning you against something. Listen to her. She's been there your whole life.
And I know what it's like to hear her say angry things about you towards you..mine does that on a regular basis. Part of that is because you already don't like yourself....she's mirroring your own feelings about you towards you. She's angry that you can't accept yourself for the wonderful person that you are. Once you can, once you find activities that help you relax and distract you from daily stresses....you'll find that she'll eventually calm down and turn her attitude around too. But all in time.
Discussion Topic
Im new to this site and need help.
Posted on 08/18/09, 02:42 pm
Hi Im new to this site I have been hearing my child within for over 4 years now. The first counselor I saw was very helpful about it, she ever wanted me to give her a name so I did. She is very abusive towards me, tells me Im worthless, sometimes it feels like she hates me, she does not like my partner at all she calls him names. I now go to another counselor and we will not address this problem, but I want to but he just says that she is just me, but I get the feeling she wants to tell someone something about my past, but I dont know what it is. Can anyone help me or give me some advise about this.xx
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Reply #1 08/18/09 4:19pm
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Reply #2 08/18/09 4:31pm
Thanks for reply it was very heplful, I know that she me, but my counselor said it was just an easy way out if I gave her a name, he said I was just pulling the blame on some one else for self harming and hating myself so much. I see her in my head do you?. I did give her a name and she told me to f**k off, so I had to give her another name which she liked, does your inner child have a name?., or am I a freak?. Thanks for your support and take care.x -
Reply #3 08/18/09 4:47pm
Mine has multiple names...believe it or not. She goes with whichever mood she's in. IF she's content, then she goes by Michelle. If she's feeling threatened and defensive she goes by Amanda. If she's ticked right off and throwing screaming and yelling fits then she goes by Andrea. It all depends on how she's feeling though. Which sounds really funny to me. And she'll change her appearance too, according to which name she's going by. But, yes, I can see her in my head. No, you're not a freak.
The fact that she does this...has often made me wonder if I sometimes have multiple personalities, but I've learned that I don't...so I don't know why or how it's possible that she can do this. I just know that she does. -
Reply #4 08/18/09 8:00pm
my is called susie I dont know why she picked that, but she likes it and she does not like dresses. She as different moods to I can handle when she is mean or angry but I dont like it when she is frightened.
I didnt start hearing till about 5 years now at first I just heard her and I felt like I was going crazy when she did first appear it was as a monster I think that is because I thought I was going crazy do you understand that, but when I took her for what she was, she appeared as a little girl about 5 years old and she would mostly talk to me at night. Does your body ever feel different when your child comes out and as she ever talked to someone else?.Thanks for your help and listening to me hope to talk to you soon take care x, -
Reply #5 08/19/09 5:55am
Yes, that does make sense. Like I said, at one point I almost believed that I had Multiple Personalities. My inner child ranges in age according to the Personality that seems most dominant. For instance, as Michelle, she'll range from 2-15. She's a very at ease character...and she has a nurturing nature. She's usually a go-with-the-flow kind of character. She loves dancing, girly things...and loves nature. As Amanda, she ranges in age of 8-12, she's very punk-like. She's hard core. She's tough as rocks(until something frightens her...but she's always up for a dare), she likes to pick fights...she's very tomboyish. She doesn't wear dresses NO MATTER what!! She also likes to alternate between dressing baggy(like a street gang punk) and hardcore goth. As Andrea, she ranges in age of 13-19 and she's very angry. She's always got something to fight about...and she's not afraid to tell you EXACTLY what's on her mind...and give you more to go with it. She wears "bitch" clothes. Tight shirts, short skirts...if you were to see her...she looks intimidating and has a very intense aura. She ALWAYS glares. She only smiles if someone is getting hurt...and she trusts NOONE!!! She is like a leader of a gang. And she could take anyone out with ONE punch.
Out of all of them, Michelle is the most likely to get sad and cry. Amanda is the most likely to become nervous and frightened....Andrea is most likely to scream demeaning things. I've known that they've always been there...even as a young child...I've always referred to them as "them"...even if it is just ONE. Believe it or not....but sometimes, I feel 80. And I've yet to discover if that's another one...or if that's something else all together. Can you see now, WHY I thought it was multiple personalities??
Anytime...I love talking with you. *hugs* I hope to talk to you soon as well. Take care of yourself too.
I think she tried to talk to one of my friend's one time...as Michelle...she's adventurous that way. My friend got incredibly confused though..because she kept alternating between Michelle and Amanda and my friend couldn't keep up. And yes, my body always feels weird at random parts of the day...for whatever reason...believe it or not...but there are times where I'll feel like a werewolf...because I'm convinced that there's one living inside me...named Raja. At least, that's what was discovered by me and a friend one day. I will feel like I have FUR all over me...especially on my face...and I'm infatuated with the FULL moon. I feel like it gives me power. I know...I'm strange...I understand that. lol
P.S. AGAIN!! Take care of yourself, and hope to talk to you soon. *hugs* -
Reply #6 08/19/09 2:32pm
thanks again for your support, I dont know how you cope with your child being 3 different children within one, I feel confused with just one, one time when I was cutting my hair because she told me to, I was looking in the mirror but not seeing me and she was patting my hair and saying thats pretty, thats nice it was my voice but not my voice ( god I most sound strange ) it was a childs, Hope this does not affend you but susie gets really frightened when my partner acts sexual towards me, she as talked in my head a few times in this cases, when I once tried to touch my chest she was saying (No big man should not doll that ) so I made he stop, you are the only person I have ever told that because I was ashamed and frightened that people would think I was a freak, some of my family already think Im strange because I self harm. Hope to hear from you soon take care xxx -
Reply #7 08/19/09 5:05pm
After reading your original posting, cynthiadean, and your conversation with impulsiveRE..., I believe both of you folks have Dissociative Identity Disorder, a condition that used to be known as Multiple Personality Disorder. I say this for several reasons, but primarily because you both have child parts of you, and child parts (called alters) are very common among people who have Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D.).
Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality Disorder) is a very creative, imaginative, and intuitive way of dealing with intolerable abuse in childhood. Not everyone can dissociate. Those who can always have way above average intelligence. D.I.D. (or M.P.D. if you prefer) is nothing to be afraid of. It is not a neurosis, nor is it a psychosis or even a personality disorder. Rather, it is in a category all its own, one which does not respond to either shock treatments or medication (both are often tried, unsuccessfully, with folks who have this disorder). Rather, the help of an understanding, competent therapist is necessary. Not every therapist has been trained to treat this disorder, so the selection of a counselor can be crucial.
If your therapist isn't comfortable with the concept of Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality Disorder), ask him/her if they are familiar with what is called "Ego States Therapy". It's a related form of therapy that is sometimes used by therapists who aren't trained to deal with D.I.D.
If you would like more information on D.I.D./M.P.D., you can Google the name of the disorder, or you can Google the names Richard P. Kluft, M.D., Bennett G. Braun, M.D., or Frank W. Putnam, M.D. All three gentlemen have written extensively on the subject, and something in their writings might prove helpful to you. -
Reply #8 08/20/09 2:44am
I don't believe that I have a way above average intelligence. You mean, I'd have to go to a Psychiatrist AGAIN? To find out if I have D.I.D.(M.P.D.)????? Once was good enough for me. I was diagnosed with BPD and CPTSD. If I have M.P.D. on top of that...I wouldn't be surprised. Considering that I've thought for over 5+ years that I DID have this. I was convinced of this while I was still in school.
However, I have an incredibly disliking to doctors...I find it incredibly difficult to deal with them. I generally avoid the if all possible.
Also, the reason I said that I wouldn't be surprised...is because 9 months before I was actually daignosed WITH BPD...I was already telling the managers at work that the DOCTOR had diagnosed me with it. So, I hit it bang on for that one. And something has always told me that I DO have M.P.D....but, it's never been diagnosed. Thanks for the suggestions.
As for you, cynthiadean, it's hard to tell people who aren't certain of what to make of us...what we're going through. The only reason they think that we're strange is because they CAN'T relate to us. They don't know how to accept that things are the way they are...regardless of what they used to know you as. They don't like change that they can help and/or control. I've learned that at a very young age. :( It's sad. But that's the way it is. -
Reply #9 08/20/09 12:45pm
i dont mind seeing myself as being way above average intelligence, I would rather see myself as that then thinking Im thick, stupid and worthless, thats the way I have been made to feel all my life by different people,I think it of myself too because I cant spell very good, but I passed all my exams at school and college. May be that is why susie gets so angry with me and says nasty things about people that I would not because I dont like rocking the boat.
I would rather know why susie is here than just carry on without knowing, and wouldnt it put abit of clocsure on knowing what it wrong with us. We can get through this together by talking and getting the outside help we need, so will you be my buddy in this, hope to hear from you soon take care xx -
Reply #10 08/21/09 10:48am
Sure why not. I figure they're there for a reason...but I hear a lot of voices....just not all of them have actual names. Believe it or not...but I'm highly drawn to the supernatural and paranormal stuff. If that has anything to do with MPD(aka DID) I don't know...but I doubt it. Cause there are far too many freaking things that come from them.
But, sure why not...I'll be your buddy in this. NOT ALL BUGS NEED DRUGS!!!! I think that goes the same with illnesses. Not just cold and flus.
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