Maggie724

Single moms?

Posted on 11/11/08, 01:58 pm

I was just wondering if anyone in here is going at this alone? Obviously this baby has a father, but just about two months ago he started making threats that he was going to take the baby when he's born. Not as in custody..but like physically come and take him away from me. So needless to say, I've gotten an attorney and am just waiting now. I'm not going to call him when Lennon is born, and I'm not putting his name on the birth certificate, but I can't help but be completely heartbroken for my son. Anyone else have this kind of experience? I'm struggling with what is the right thing to do. Do I inform him and allow him to have rights and just risk it? Or do I not and just wait for him to take me to court? I feel like the risk is too great and I feel the need to protect my child, at the same time I hate the fact that he will possibly grow up without his father. I had to, and it's heartbreaking.

Anyway, just needed to vent. Baby will be here soon and all these worries are surfacing.

• Reply #1 11/11/08  3:25pm
  
  FracturedFa...
  You seem to be on the right track, Lennon's safety should be number one. Talk to your lawyer, talk to the court, talk to family independence agency, maybe suggest your husband go to counseling, do everything you can to help yourself sleep better at night.
  I pray everything works out the best for you and your baby... I am not a single mom but I have to go alone for the first 6-7 months since her daddy is deployed, you will be a wonderful mother and if you have to fill the roll of father I know you can handle that too. Best of luck to you!!
• Reply #2 11/11/08  3:32pm
  
  justmarried07
  I don't believe a father and a sperm donor are the same. Just b/c the sperm donor (I don't want to honor him with the term "father") won't be around, doesn't mean he won't have a father in his life. Good for you for protecting your child!
• Reply #3 11/13/08  9:32am
  
  N79
  I think u should do whats best for u and the baby. Im biological dad didnt see me till I was like 3...he wasnt ready and it wasnt until he met a nice lady that my mom allowed him to have visits....I have since eliminated this man from my life but that was the choice I made as an adult..every kid deserves a chance to know there father even if he's a loser and they will make there own judgement. For the babys safety though I would wait for him to try and see his child..at least with the court involved..there can be supervised and regulated times.
• Reply #4 11/14/08  11:26pm
  
  BabeKins
  Im in the exact same situation. My son is now 9 months old. Im not going to publicly post what happened but if you wish to msg me for some advice Please do so.
• Reply #5 11/17/08  1:26pm
  
  MissBPositive
  My son is now 5months (it's gone so fast!!) and me and his father split early in my pregnancy. My ex made numerous threats, and emotional abuse, all in order to 'get' my son. He still resents the fact that he doesn't have him living with him but has had to accept there is nothing he can do. Good for you getting a solicitor, I have one too when my ex's threats became worrying. She advised me to put him on the birth certificate because if I didn't it would be easy for him to getg on it anyway, no court will say no unless the father is dangerous. However I am in the UK, it may be different for you... I hate that my ex has 50% responsibility because he never even calls to ask about George, just makes demands. Do yopur research and speak to you attorney. And I know it's so sad for the child... I am heartbroken for my son, but at least they have caring mothers.
• Reply #6 11/18/08  1:50pm
  
  Maggie724
  True. Well my attorney advised not to put him on there because if he's on there he can pick him up from day care and things like that and just leave with him. Also, if he's listed on the BC he can take him out of state and everything and it's not kid napping until the courts set something up. I know he will be on there eventually, but at that point we will have visitation set up and everything so if he were to take Lennon for a visit and not come back, they would issue a warrant for his arrest. He can't violate court order. I'm struggling with whether I should contact him and let him know when the baby will be born. I feel like taking the right to see his son's first breath away from him isn't really my choice. I dont know...its just tough.
• Reply #7 01/02/09  10:37am
  
  BabeKins
  He gave up that right when he became an asshole... sorry to be harsh but its true

This group is for mature adults, that are blessed enough to be pregnant, and excited to embrace the role of motherhood!