Zdawg

Life? We all seem to take the good with the bad...

Posted on 10/19/09, 11:40 am

Sometimes I am forced to stop and ponder all the shit in my life. Then I look around and am curious as I gaze upon others, who like me are likewise forced to stop and ponder all the shit in their lives. Life is such a great mystery, and the end result of trying to make sense of it all is that it makes no sense. Of one thing I am certain... We are all of one creator and we are of one family.

Last week I "Inked" a deal with a major book publisher to handle my next book. It represents 10 years of hard work to have arrived at this point. Yet there was never any promise or guarantee that I'd ever get this far, or be published at all. The news is great but it came at a time of great distress for me, I recently lost a very close friend and neighbor to cancer.

And then there is the stress. Everything, including good things (like your last family vacation with the kids) or in my case doing some re-modeling of my home is stressful. I really wonder how much we ourselves complicate are own lives. Stress comes with both the good and the bad, but stress itself is always bad for us and our health. I suppose it is all the big mystery of life, and right now I have to go do the laundry, pick up paint at the hardware store, fill the gas tank with propane and come home to go to work.

Did I really sign up for this????

• Reply #1 10/20/09  8:47am
  
  ALC67
  I know what you mean. I never asked for any of this. My life sucks. I'm going to be tossed on the street because I don't make enough money to pay the rent, no one is helping me pack or move. I have to do it all on my own. I'm juggling my job, looking for an apartment or roomate or something, looking for another part time job and packing and moving stuff and there's only so many hours in a day. There's no way I can get it all done in time but there it is. And I'm looking at living in my car in winter with 2 cats. I have asthma and chronic bronchitis. My doctor said years ago I need to be in a climate controlled environment. Yeah my car really fits that bill. I have a friend who owns two homes, one up north here and one down south, where she spends her winters. Think I could house sit for a few months while she's enjoying the sun? Nope. The house is going to be empty all winter. Some friend. I have one 'friend' who won't even collect empty boxes for me. Said she's afraid of getting in trouble for asking the cleaners to put them aside for her! Yeah it's times like these you find out who your REAL friends are! And I'm going to be doing some serious weeding as soon as this is settled. Right now I don't need the extra stress!
• Reply #2 10/20/09  10:20am
  
  babyduckie
  AlC Im Sorry to hear about what oyu are going through. And you are so Right it is during our times of greatest need that we are able to see who really cares.
  
  Zdawg congratz on the book deal , and sorry to hear about your friend. You are so right when you say we are all of one creator..their is no denying that. No way to overlook that we are all one family and if we truly valued each other as such the world would be a better place.
  
  I have been forced to ponder this myself in the past couple of days since my daughter has been returned to me safely. She had gone missing on Friday and so much of my fear and anxiety was focused on the fact that we were here in Deer River, the place that I have spent so much of my life fearing and hating, that I was hardly able to focus my energies on finding my child.
  
  But then the totally unexpected happened, not only did my true friends, those who are always there for me when I need them, step up and help; but the community as a whole came together. People from the town I have hated and feared all my life pulled together and started passing out fliers, checking on me and making sure I was ok, calling the house to see if we had heard anything, and were calling around finding out who Savanna's friends were and going house to house looking for her.
  
  We put out our first flier Sunday morning, the first time the community knew my child was missing, by Sunday after noon I had more help than I could handle, By dinnertime Savanna was home.... All this in a town I so feared and hated. All from people I have refused to get out and get to know. All who took me in in my time of need and treated me and my family as family.
  
  It has cause me to pause and think deeply this AM. 20 years have passed since all the crap that happened to me happened, the people who hurt me truly were only a handful of the 800 who lived in this little town 20 years ago and many are no longer here.... the town has changed, the people are not all bad, I think there is is a chance for me not to be so lonely here and maybe ...just maybe not be so lonely, If I just give life a chance and treat the people here the way I was just treated.... Like family.
  
  Karen
  
• Reply #3 10/20/09  11:12am
  
  Zdawg
  
  ALC I will continue to keep you in my prayers girl, as well as ur two cats who I know are family. God does not give us more then we can handle although at many times through life our faith is pushed to the limit. Sounds as if you're in such a place now. Have faith and use prayer to ur benefit. It is through times like these that we become survivors, not victims.
  
  Babyduckie what a beautiful story. I grew up in LA and have come to love life in the small mountain hamlet that I live in today. Maybe you'll remember that old TV series called Northern Exposure. What I loved about that show was how the "locals" in this small Alaska town (although it was shot in Washington State) all knew their neighbors and how they as one community dealt with the perils and tragedies of everyday life. Their inter-actions with each other during good and bad times made for a fascinating show. I have endeavored to live my life that way here in my hometown in the Sierra. And it does work. Not everyone is worthy of our time, every place produces natural-born assholes. But many people, men and women are very community minded and are willing to get involved.
  
  I may be responsible for creating my own little world to live in some might say, but it takes others, children, the elderly, the poor, the rich and the sick to make a community. And I have found to some degree that same feeling I got from watching Northern Exposure. So Babyduckie my advice (for what its worth) is for you to look for avenues that will allow you to interact with the locals in ur community. Use the example of your daughter being lost as a measuring stick as to how MOST of the folks in your town are likely very average and very decent people. Get involved socially, maybe there is a community center in ur town that could use an extra volunteer? Better and enrich your life through service to improving your community.
  
  One last piece of wisdom from my own experience... Learn to say NO! If you have FMS especially take yield to this word. It was very difficult for me to learn this. Communities always have a shortage of volunteers and way to many projects that need to get done. Keep it to a healthy limit. Respect yourself, your time and be good to yourself first. Then get involved.
  
  BTW THANX YOU GUYS FOR POSTING! Breakfast is over and to work I must now begin. Have a great day!!! ;)
• Reply #4 10/27/09  7:32pm
  
  ALC67
  To work I must now begin...? Then Yoda must you be?
• Reply #5 11/04/09  10:38pm
  
  fibonae
  HI KAREN, I'M SO HAPPY FOR U THAT THE COMMUNITY, PULLED TOGETHER AND HELPED FIND YOUR DAUGHTER!
  HUGS NAE'

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