I don't know if this video has been mentioned here. It is a really good, hopeful video done by www.griefhaven.org. Our older son's high school guidance counselor had lost her son 10 years previously, and in a wonderful act of kindness, she sent us the video. We didn't watch it for a long time--I didn't think I could stand to watch anyone else in such pain. But then once we watched it, I wished I had watched it earlier. I've since ordered a few copies to have on hand--sadly, once you've joined this group that no one wants to join, you begin to meet other bereaved parents. I was really grateful someone had given us the video and felt I wanted to "pay it forward."

Many of you have experienced very sudden and unexpected deaths of your children, whereas others of us began our grieving process upon diagnosis of a life threatening illness. We fell in the second category and were told from day 1 (and every day after that for 19 months) that our son would die. When we were sent home for hospice, a friend of ours did a very brave thing. She dropped off a book called Final Gifts. I'm sure she had no idea how we might respond. Final Gifts was written by 2 hospice nurses, and I will forever be grateful for reading it while Michael was still with us. It gives so much insight as to what is happening as someone is preparing to leave. There were so many things that happened in those last 2 weeks that I would have totally missed otherwise. I ordered several copies of the book as well, and when the time is right, I have decided I too could be brave, and along with a note of explanation, have passed it along to families who are caring for someone who is in the process of preparing to leave.

I think in finding ways to be helpful to others, we heal parts of ourselves as well.