There is a wonderful series of audio tapes by Belleruth Naperstek. Like you, I get overwhelmed, panicky, jumpy in ways I never did before our son died. For many months, I listened to Belleruth at least twice a day. Learn to breath deep, deep breaths....Belleruth can teach you how. Eat protein...it calms the body physically. And walk at least a couple times a day.
Oddly, one of the things that has helped the most--I tried to think of something, anything that I enjoyed before Michael died. The only thing I could come up with was ice skating. I went with 2 friends at a time when almost no one else was on the ice because my startle reflex was so hightened. It helped.
Nothing seems to bring me back to the way I was before, but some of these things got me through some very dark times.
Discussion Topic
How do you handle the panic?
Posted on 11/03/09, 09:49 pm
It's been 7 months (tomorrow) since Doug's accident. I still get overwhelmed with anxiety when I realize he will not be coming home, I won't "physically" see him again. What do you do when the panic hits you like a ton of bricks? How do you get through it?
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Reply #1 11/03/09 10:15pm
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Reply #2 11/04/09 12:52am
I wake in the morning and feel like my heart is jumping from my chest. I am all sweaty and feel scared to death. i get on here and write until I feel better. I have no one to talk to. No one but my daughter-in-law understands the hell I am going through right now. Only you, my internet friends are here for me. Love to you!~Julie -
Reply #3 11/04/09 10:21am
I know what you are going through it has only been 3 very long months for us. I was never a nervous or anxious person. Now I can be at work or in a store and I just feel so out of sorts, kind of frightened and anxious. I try and just relax myself , go to my car if I am able and re-group. I also allow the tears to flow and then I feel better. I never would of thought that these feelings would of come with this catastrophic event, but I guess they must be part of the grief process. I do find coming to the web site and reading the words of support form all of you helps me..... Wendy -
Reply #4 11/04/09 12:09pm
My niece who is getting a Masters in Dance Therapy sent this to me:
In my schooling I've been learning a lot about breath work and how to use breathing as a means of centering oneself and creating a mind-body connectivity type thing--I know this probably sounds way out there and a little "woo-woo" (as my mom says :)) but I use breathing exercises to help me when I have anxiety problems. If you ever feel out of control or like your grief is simply too much to handle (which I'm sure it is) giving yourself deep, thoughtful, concentrated breath can help gain a sense of control and calming--at least it does for me. Generally what I do is lay down and concentrate on breathing from different parts of my body--like thinking about breathing from my mouth, then my chest, then my abdomen, then pelvis--all parts of my body to get my mind truly concentrated on my breathing. With that, if it's hard for you to envision different body parts, you can put your hand on each body part when you breathe to help. And if that's weird for you, you can even just concentrate on an image in your mind of what your breath looks like/feels like. For instance, like a balloon being inflated and deflated. I for some reason envision a giant spiderweb being woven inside my body when I inhale and then it gets unwoven when I exhale--which is weird because I'm terrified of spiders :)
I haven't actually been able to do what she suggests and take 30 minutes or even 5 minutes. But I have been able to catch my breath and calm down by making a conscious effort during a bad spell to stop and "breath in through the nose and out through the toes". It definitely helps.
Sending love and support to anyone reading this today. Hugs and peace ~ Debbie, Corrie's Mom -
Reply #5 11/04/09 3:02pm
Thank you!!!!! Wendy -
Reply #6 11/05/09 2:26pm
Remembering to breath is very important. Friends and people I don't know well suggest " just breathe" and it helps. But usually I find a quite place and cry and breathe and get a hug when I can. And after only 5 months I do this more than once a day. I have to carry my makeup with me because it is always being wiped off with my tears. But thats ok. Just do what ever it takes. Debbie -
Reply #7 11/07/09 8:39pm
i have a feeling of anxiety and panic between 3 pm to 4 pm and between 7 pm to 8 pm. I can always tell time because it happens every day. I,m usually driving home from work around 3 pm. The tears just suddenly come and a feeling of panic comes on so suddenly. I don't know how to stop the feelings. I get scared because of driving. Thank you for the suggestion. Iam going to try the breathing exercizes. Thank you very much -
Reply #8 11/09/09 5:38am
I had a very bad week, the week before Evan's 17th birthday. Today I lost it completely and being so scard I called a friend and they came over to keep me company while I went through the incredible soul wrenching sobbing. They truley saved me. This is a scary process. Breathing is good if you can, call a friend if you can't. Love you all of you, Debbie -
Reply #9 11/10/09 6:22pm
I haven't bothered with makeup since July 27th. I figure everyone will just have to deal with what I look like. Agree with adjustingmom Debbie ~ breathe if you can, call a friend if you can't.
Love and hugs to all ~ Debbie, Corrie's Mom -
Reply #10 11/12/09 10:50am
So happy to not feel so alone with the anxiety, panic and depression. Somehow that alone is a comfort for me. Guess it is reassurance that I am "normal", whatever that means anymore. May peace find it's way to us all. {HUGS}
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