well my son had his first birthday. march 11 2008 will always be the hardest but most blessed day i will ever had. It was a sad day for me but yet I didn\'t want to be sad. all the thoughts i had and still have are taking control and i wish i could heal but i don\'t think i ever will. at the beginning of the year I had a little hope on trying for another baby but last week I felt my hope disapear. Something so simple was done and my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years said a comment to me that keeps playing over and over and it hurt me so bad I don\'t think I ever want to try again. I don\'t want to go into all the details but just know something so simple made me feel so low that makes me feel i\'ll never get that chance. I love my guy very much but sometimes I wonder where life is taking us. I\'m not a jealous person but sometimes i question \"us\" does anyone ever feel this way? It seems he is holding back as far this baby thing, it would make me feel better if he would open up just a little. can anyone make me feel a little better?