krying

Birthday/angel day

Posted on 01/26/09, 10:11 am

My little angel will be a yr old in Heaven tomorrow and its just not fair! I should be having a birthday party for him, watching him get into his cake with such excitement..BUT NO all that has been snatched from my grip..
I am so sad, angry-hell I dont know how I feel..I just know it isnt fair!
I want my baby in my arms and to be able to tell him Happy Birthday face to face; I should be scheduling a birthday party, not planning to go to a cemetary to release balloons!
I cant believe it has been a yr..in some ways it seems like it has moved so fast in others it feels like he has been away from us for years.:'(
I WANT MY BABY BOY BACK AND I WANT HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Reply #1 01/26/09  5:59pm
  
  angietoney
  honey Im with you my son will be gone 1 year in march, I try not to think how that day will be. I look at other mothers and I just stair at them sometimes because I wonder what it would have been like. I imagine simple things like going to a grocery store, pushing him in a buggy its crazy I know, I too will be releasing baloons in his honor, Your right its not fair, my son was taken from me way before I had a chance. the bad thing is I blame myself because i wasnt strong enough to carry him, sometimes I feel I killed my own son because my body was too weak to cary a baby. honey, all I can say your angel is much happier I wish you nothing but the best and i too wish my son was going to be eating cake and and making us all laugh but its something that wont ever happen. take care
• Reply #2 01/27/09  1:00am
  
  4ks
  I'm sorry you are in so much pain and I wish there were some words I could say that would make it all better. Kyle will be gone 1 year next week and I can't believe it. It's not fair, it SUCKS!!! The only thing I can say is that you are not alone in your grief and that I will always listen if you need someone to talk to! BIG HUGS!
• Reply #3 02/28/09  2:33am
  
  SarahsMomma...
  I haven't been on in a while, sorry I'm just now seeing this. I will be going through this soon too, my daughter will have her 2nd birthday March 9th and Angel Day March 14th. I imagine her as a 2 year old, toddling around with curly hair (she was just getting a few wisps of tweety bird hair when she died). I miss her so much. I know you miss your son. I'm not going to say any empty words to try to make you feel better, sometimes you just have to feel the way you feel and let it out...be it angry or sad...that's all part of it. Everyone is here for you and we understand if you are angry. We will be praying for you.
• Reply #4 06/17/09  5:28pm
  
  zaydensmom
  My zayden's birthday was the 14th of June. It would have also been his first birthday. I did try to stay positive and happy, because I thought if he was looking down on me its how he should see his mommy on his birthday. It was hard though! and next month (his D day) will be even harder! On top of still grieving, it seems like all women around me are having their babies at the same time. I can't help but be so incredibly jealous when I see the pictures or hear their stories of how precious every moment is. I miss him tons!

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