Discussion Topic
the "high" sensations
Posted on 04/08/08, 08:26 pm
I just finished writing in my journal and wanted to share it. Please comment on it, or send feedback on your personal "high" experiences. I am trying to find ways of adequately describing the actual "high" we get from this, so describing it to councelors, family, or friends might be easier for all of us and we won't be at a loss for a description. Here it is:
"Yeah, I just got done writing my last journal, and I can say that I just wasted hours of a really bad B/P today and I am quite high.
DESCRIPTIONS OF MY HIGH: It numbs my thoughts, making me ramble about crazy things, sometimes my eyes twitch around rapidly, entire body pulsating, paranoia to sound and sights and people, shifts in vision focus, finding certain things (especially animated pics on computer and tv) stimulating so I just stare at it for extended periods of time, rapid heart beat, breaking in sweat, los of some perriferal vision, trouble writing neatly (very odd), very nervous about talking to people at all, irritation to noisy places, I ignore a lot of smells, and probably other things I'm not thinking of right now.
And right now I really want to get a chocolate bar from the vending machine, like I REALLY want to. Even though I want to recover sooooooooooooooooo badly, I almost feel sad thinking that I might not let myself go get it, tear open the wraper, taste that creamy chocolate, feel the crunchyness of the peanuts and carmelized sugar inside. I can imaine it melting between my teeth. Strange that something like this could possibly be so emotional. I mean, all this for some $1.25 candy bar? And overpriced at that?
NO. STOP. BRUSH YOUR TEETH. DRY YOUR HAIR. CHANGE CLOTHES. GO FOR A LONG WALK. AND THEN GO TO THE LIBRARY. NOW!"
Sorry I sound kinda weird, but I was in a weird state....
"Yeah, I just got done writing my last journal, and I can say that I just wasted hours of a really bad B/P today and I am quite high.
DESCRIPTIONS OF MY HIGH: It numbs my thoughts, making me ramble about crazy things, sometimes my eyes twitch around rapidly, entire body pulsating, paranoia to sound and sights and people, shifts in vision focus, finding certain things (especially animated pics on computer and tv) stimulating so I just stare at it for extended periods of time, rapid heart beat, breaking in sweat, los of some perriferal vision, trouble writing neatly (very odd), very nervous about talking to people at all, irritation to noisy places, I ignore a lot of smells, and probably other things I'm not thinking of right now.
And right now I really want to get a chocolate bar from the vending machine, like I REALLY want to. Even though I want to recover sooooooooooooooooo badly, I almost feel sad thinking that I might not let myself go get it, tear open the wraper, taste that creamy chocolate, feel the crunchyness of the peanuts and carmelized sugar inside. I can imaine it melting between my teeth. Strange that something like this could possibly be so emotional. I mean, all this for some $1.25 candy bar? And overpriced at that?
NO. STOP. BRUSH YOUR TEETH. DRY YOUR HAIR. CHANGE CLOTHES. GO FOR A LONG WALK. AND THEN GO TO THE LIBRARY. NOW!"
Sorry I sound kinda weird, but I was in a weird state....
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Reply #1 04/17/08 2:24pm
I think it's really, really smart of you to document how you're feeling when these urges occur. I will definitely keep in mind to do this for myself. -
Reply #2 06/24/08 12:47am
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Reply #3 07/30/08 9:43am
reading your post, I just felt like I was inside my own head. Believe me, I understand 100%
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I'm a food addict and hope to better understand and learn to better live within my situation through discussion with others.
