Discussion Topic
Not alone but very lonely
Posted on 05/30/09, 01:44 am
I spend most of my days on my computer working. I don't get out much because I have very little money, and although I share the house with family, I feel isolated and lonely. To make things worse, I lost a very dear friend of mine that used to be here on DS. He took his own life. I feel his loss deeply and miss talking to him. I don't have many friends to begin with, and now the loss of one makes me shrink away from my other friends. They don't realise how badly one reacts to death when it's suicide. The fact that I can't talk to them openly about my friend who passed away causes me to bottle it all up and I feel alone in my pain. I am lonely and I think I'm going to be lonely all my life. Any response any of you will be so much appreciated. I know at least on here I have some people who can understand my feelings.
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Reply #1 06/05/09 9:50pm
I understand that feeling. I work from home and find it very lonely and isolating and I am still recovering from the suicide o my mother many years ago. You're not alone at all. -
Reply #2 07/03/09 9:07am
Hi, I am new to this group. I also know how lonely being at home alone is, i am a stay at home mum of a beautiful little girl who is 6 and I do have a lovely husband. However I am so lonely, I take my daughter to school, come home do some housework, then do some work on the computer and my whole being aches with loneliness. I am a shy person and have always been, I thought that when i had a child things may change but they haven't. I take her to school and am so lonely that even when i try to talk to the other mums it is like they don't really want me hanging around them and they all seem so happy and content, I just don't get it. Unfortunately i have struggled all of my school life trying to make friends and even when i did have a couple of good friends i still felt an intolerable loneliness. Etlamo, I know exactly how you are feeling as i am at home most of the time on my own and even when i am not alone i may as well as be. If anyone understands what i am talking about please leave me a message. I would be grateful to hear from others -
Reply #3 07/05/09 7:37pm
Hi there Etlamo,
How are you feeling today?
Before i go on, I am 2 days old on daily strength but i joined with a purpose of making a positive difference in the lives of people so i hope to be here for a very long time.
It's quite sad about your friend but if you ever want to talk about it thats fine. Most times we are consumed with our individual thoughts, ideals(due to no fault of ours) and we expect people to respond,act or behave like us when faced with difficult situations or going through tough times.This may explain why your friends don't understand how you feel about his death because they might/will react differently.
Try as much as possible not to bottle up how you feel. This group is a good avenue for you to express your thoughts and for people to support you. If you bottle it up , theres a tendency for you to lose sleep, push people away and be hard on yourself etc.
Be encouraged and dont give yourself a bad time please. keep your head as high as you can. Be you, love you, take care of you and don't be hard on YOU!! it's not selfish because in doing so you will radiate warmth and friendship to various people you come in contact with.
Regarding working on the computer and having little money, this is a phase everyone experiences all the time but as much as possible look for more opportunities to generate income and improve on your skills. Make out time from your busy schedule to do something you would enjoy from watching a movie to cooking dinner laugh!!!.
I hope you werent too bored reading this. -
Reply #4 08/27/09 7:23pm
I'm new to this group and I too am not alone but very lonely.
I was married 27 years, have a daughter and son who are married and having children of their own, my daughter is living with me and expecting any day.
With all the family and love that surrounds me I feel very blessed and fortunate, my children are all happy and healthy and all my grandchildren are a joy, my folks are still alive and always there to help me out but I still feel so lonely.
I've had a few relationships since my divorce but they ended up not to be what they pretended to be in the begining, I felt so misused. Now I'm a bit gun shy.
I hope I will find someone I can share the rest of my life with but I'm too afraid to trust again.
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Reply #5 09/09/09 1:05am
Etlamo, I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. Anytime we lose someone so close...especially unexpectationly and tragedically, it is certainly a tramatic experience for the survivors.
I share your feelings of isolation. I have a lot of negatives going on in my life now...but find it so overwhelming at times that I too just keep it bottled up inside. Like you, I guess I don't have anyone close to "force" me to open up...so keeping my feelins inside seems like my only option.
What frustrates me most about dealing with my loneliness is that there seems to be a lot of us who share these feelings of loneliness that we should be able to be able to befirend each other and help each of us eliminate our loneliness by developing the deep/close friendships I think we all desire. Unfortunately, this all seems easier said than done...at least for me.
If there is anything I can do for you while you deal with your friends death, please let me know. I certainly don;t have all of the answers, but am a good listener, and can provide whatever support you may need. Take care! -
Reply #6 09/22/09 9:16am
Hi Etalmo
I hear you and can relate to much of what u say. Not having loads of money and not going out. living with family. feeling terribly isolated and lonley. Even when i go out I feel totally isolated. I am in an emotionally abusive relationship with an alcoholic. I feel so lonley sometimes even if i go out.
A good friend of mine comitted suicide in university about 3 years ago. It still haunts me as I was so shocked by it. He was so good looking. If anything he had life to look forward to!!
Please feel free to chat with me anytime. -
Reply #7 09/30/09 11:19am
I AM SORRY FOR THE LOSE OF YOUR FRIEND. HE JUST WANTED TO ESCAPE HIS OWN PAIN. LET HIM GO. LET HIM BE FREE. YOU NEED TO MOVE ON. HE DOSE NOT WANT YOU TO HURT. HE NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU OR HIS FAMILY AND OTHER FRIENDS. HE IS SORRY NOW LET HIM GO SO HE CAN BE FREE, AND YOU CAN LIVE. I AM SURE IF HE KNEW HOW MUCH IT WOULD HURT THE PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE HE WOULD HAVE NEVER DONE IT BUT WHEN YOU ARE IN THAT PLACE YOU DON'T THINK STRAIGHT. I KNOW HE IS SORRY SO FORGIVE HIM AND MOVE ON. -
Reply #8 10/15/09 8:26pm
thats it
i feel u tooking about me
left my contry to another for working, and her iam betwen 4 wals no body to lesten to me
bad feeling -
Reply #9 10/21/09 10:46pm
I understand absolutely. I was diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder, and no one can understand why I can't relate to others. My sister accuses me of being stand offish all the time. I wish I could be more sociable, I just don't know how.
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