Welcom, chicky. Sorry we had to meet this way!
Sounds like your situation really stinks. All of his sentencing paperwork will spell out a lot of what you are asking about. Someone represented him (unless he rep'd himself; is he a lawyer?) If it was the Public Defender's office (which is what it sounds like from what your said) then he will have to give them permission to release the papers/information to you (and even then it might be difficult...they are so backed up no matter where you are.)
The rest of your questions will have to wait until he gets to the treatment center/probation. They will spell out exactly what is required/allowed.
Please read all our old discussions, they might help you with some of the things you might feel/go through. And please feel free to ask...any question, any time. We know what your going through (perhaps not exactly, but pretty darned close!)
Good luck & Welcome again,
Diana
Discussion Topic
New comer
Posted on 11/03/09, 06:48 pm
Hello everyone I can't believe there is a site to talk about this topic. My husband is in prison for the last 8 months. He took a plea deal cause we couldn't afford a attorney. Which really stinks. Cause there is a lot of missing info in the investagation. Now he has to serve 4yrs in a treatment center. And will have to register when he gets out.Does anyone know or is in this situation. We have a 11yr old daughter. Which has nothing to do with the reason he is in prison.Will he be able to live with us when he gets out?
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Reply #1 11/03/09 7:05pm
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Reply #2 11/03/09 7:36pm
Chicky,
I dont know the whole story behind what has happened, but if he will have to register, then he will be a level, which one I dont know. I will tell you iam a level 1, and the expierence I am going through I would not wish on my worst enemy. I dont want to upset you, but when he gets out he will not be able to live at home nor will he be aloud to have any conact with his daughter. One of the main problems with the Sex Offender Laws in this country is that they only have one set of rules they go by. So no matter what your crime is victim, or no victim level 1 2 or 3 parole, or probaion we are all painted with the same brush and we all have the same restrictions. I am sorry you, and your family have to go through this. Like I said Iam a level 1 and if you have any questions that I can help you with please feel free to ask. I know as being the offender how much my actions have affected my family. I had a GF who had children. I have not seen them in over two years and probably never will again, so I know how hard it is going to be for your daughter not having her dad around. If I can help in any way please im here anytime for anyone here.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family,
Steven -
Reply #3 11/03/09 7:46pm
Maybe the laws will be different in your state and he will be able to come home, I sure hope that is the case for your family. -
Reply #4 11/03/09 8:10pm
I'm told he will have to do a evaluation before he comes home. And they let his daughter visit in prison. -
Reply #5 11/03/09 8:14pm
I am soooo happy they're allowing that! Our judge actually wrote it in my husbands sentencing papers, but our state (Florida) has Dept. of Corrections Rules that muted the whole subject!
If ya' have any questions on the prison visit, just ask. All of us here have visited once or twice (and that's an understatement...) -
Reply #6 11/03/09 8:40pm
We thought my son would not be able to live with us, due to our three grandchildren live with us, plus we live close to a school and a daycare.....his case got overturned recently but he still has to register.......when we asked the sheriff's office here in our town they said our address was not a problem or the grandchildren living with us.....so each case seems to have their own limitations and obligations too.
So try to just be PATIENT AND DO NOT LOOK AT THE WORST CASE SCENARIO UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH!
AND KEEP COMING HERE....LOTS OF GREAT PEOPLE WHOM REALLY CARE AND WILL HELP YOU GET THRU THIS!
LOVE AND PRAYERS!
LOVE RHEA
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Reply #7 11/03/09 8:49pm
Rhea,
That is so true! Each case does have it's own "limitations and obligations". Sometimes I think a new-comer reading our postings must think we're all LOONY to stay in our relationships...because of all the "restrictions".
Patience is definitly a virtue I have (learned better) here...and a good sense of humor!
Strength to us all!
Diana -
Reply #8 11/04/09 7:38pm
I had a few problems my 1st and 2nd visit with all the restrictions,but I got it down now..What a pain in the butt....I love the fact that I have this site to go to. I always felt like I was alone going through all of this crap. Now I have somewhere to go and talk to people that are going through the same stuff...
Thank you everyone !!!! -
Reply #9 11/04/09 9:29pm
You are so welcome, chicky.
I still remember my first visit to DH in jail. It was ON our 10th aniversary...Well, we can say it was MEMORABLE!
Visiting in the big house is really a lot easier. No plastic between us; no ICKY telephone handsets. And we got to make fun of the canteen food (as we scarfed it down).
Is yours in county jail or has he been "promoted" to prison? (If any of my questions make you uncomfortable, just ignore 'em)
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Reply #10 11/04/09 9:53pm
He was in County got transfered in Sept to prison well here in nj they have a treatment center they call it.Only so's are their. I didn't go see him in county for 6 months i just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was going through a lot of emotional stuff. In one night my whole life changed.So I here you with the whole glass and nasty phone situation.lol..At least you got food. When I finally got the courage to go to county I had to travel an hr and 15 minutes to only visit for 1/2 an hr. At least where he is now the visits are 2hrs and 15 min and it take me 50 minutes to get there..I've been through so much in the last 8 months I don't think anything can make me feel uncomfortable(lol)...
Welcome
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This group is here to help those with loved ones who are convicted of sex offenses. This is a place where we don't judge because we are all in the same boat, regardless of the actual crime. If you don't feel completely comfortable posting freely on the main board because of the nature of your loved one's crime, feel free to post here because we all understand!
