PO officer questioningPosted on 12/06/13, 12:50 pm
The po officer that is handling my partners probation asked that I come in and talk with him to answer any questions about my partners rules and to see if I can be supportive. He hasn't allowed us any contact since the sentencing. We are married in the native american way and the PO doesn't believe its valid. We have a business together and must run it through a third party. We got permission to speak on the phone and for me to drop stuff off at his place (had to move because of our son being a minor). So thats the background story. BTW my partners offence was kissing someone while she claimed to be taking an sleeping pill (which really was an antipsychotic but that word wasn't allowed or the medication name in court even though the dose was within treatment for bipolar) No force, no violence. He even continued to be her rooomate for the next two weeks until he decided to move out and marry me. Then she pressed charges. Anyway we are here. So .....
1. The PO wont allow contact... Can he do that? I have come in for interview and agreed to go to couples thereapy for SO. Also last week I went to drop off some paperwork and a few groceries and two men came over a 6 foot fence at me. I screamed and was rude when I found out they were PO officers checking on residence. I told them they have his work schedule and I had permission to drop of stuff. The PO called and asked why I had assumed that the groceries were ok when he could get his own? Then he stated that being rude to other officers suggested that I was just giving him lip service. I explained I live in a small town and when two unidentified men come over a 6 foot fence instead of through the open gate I get defensive....
2. Then I went in for another interview. he went over the written rules again. (there are none preventing contact with a wife) He stated because my marriage is not state approved only valid on the reservation we are dating and he is treating it as such. Can he just decide its not valid? Can he do that?
3. Also he stated that I had better get used to dealing with whatever PO officers want to do when checking the residence as this is now my life....
4. I am the leader of our community native church and its the only one in colorado I explained this and he stated my partner could go to lodge but not have contact with me but I had to figure it out???? How do I do this?
5. Then he threatened to cut off all contact if my partner could not pass his first lie detector test...
Are they just using me as bait? How am I supposed to deal with his PO? None of these other rules are written down anywhere (I do have the phone contact permission in writing and a recording of him stating I could drop stuff off, and a recording of both of my live meetings with him)
Thanks for any feedback, I don't know what I would do without this group! It has helped so much. Someday I hope to give back
Reply #1 12/06/13 1:11pm
it sounds like to me that this "PO" is making up his own rules as he feels the need to control someone's life if you have paperwork showing that you and your husband are married I would suggest that you use it. this "PO" what right does he have telling you that you can not live with your child's father? when I was on probation it was stipulated that I could have no contact with children other then my own. Due to the fact that my youngest child's mother took off and left me a 5 year old to raise by myself. oh she came back 12 years later at that point he wanted nothing to do with her. anyway I would somehow go back to court(if I were you) in front of a judge and explain to him/her that the two of you are married in your respective FAITH and that he IS the father and that the child needs to know his father in his life sounds to me like this ugh person can I even call him human? is on a power trip do it ASAP don't let the PO tell you who you can and cannot live in YOUR home with YOUR child a child needs a father in his/her life no matter what they have done. good luck and peace out and god bless.
Reply #2 12/06/13 1:38pm
I don't know much about the laws regarding your situation, but I too believe this PO is pulling a power trip on you both. If I were in your situation the first thing I'd do is try and find out if your state recognizes a marriage as legal when done in the native tradition. You may want to consider making inquiry to a lawyer for the answer. If the answer is no, then have you considered claiming "common law marriage". Supposedly the following states allow common law marriages and consider them legitimate. You will want to some how confirm this information before proceeding of course.
District of Columbia
Georgia (if created before 1/1/97)
Idaho (if created before 1/1/96)
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Ohio (if created before 10/10/91)
Pennsylvania (if created before 1/1/05)
Anyway, just a thought. There must be more one can do in your situation, but I am certainly no expert. I hope others in the group will have more to offer. It sure seems ridiculous what this PO is doing.
Reply #3 12/06/13 2:13pm
This is sounding like a power trip to me. Yes you have done the right thing documenting everything...I would now be talking to a lawyer about this. I don't get why you can't have contact with him or drop off food for him. Did the po who went over the fence show you any sort of ID?
Reply #4 12/06/13 3:42pm
If he's on SOISP then unfortunately the PO is allowed to be as involved in someone’s personal life as they can possibly be and as long as the marriage isn't recognized by the state, everything the PO said is true. If he's on non-SOISP sex offender probation then the PO is on a power trip.
I don't know a lot about common law marriage in Colorado but I did find this published by the Office of Legal Services. http://tinyurl.com/yf55hj7 From what it says you meet the requirements for common law marriage but now that the marriage is being challenged the burden is on you to prove the existence of the marriage. What to do next on that front is definitely something to talk to an attorney about. Since they went through the trouble of publishing that document this might be something you could get free or low cost counsel on through the state's legal aid.
Reply #5 12/06/13 8:43pm
Kissing makes you a sex offender? Kissing? What was the charge?
Reply #6 12/06/13 11:38pm
I am not Native American, but I have had dealings with Natives during my time in the Coast Guard.(Fisheries), Native Reservations are considered Soverign States,ie, 'Countries' according to Federal law, and are governed by the US Govt. (Dept. of Indian Affairs)...If you were married on the Reservation under Tribal law, the State has to recognize your marriage because it is recognized by Federal law, which trumps State law...
Reply #7 12/12/13 12:28pm
So I did some research according to all of your helpful information...
Firecracker and Coastie- I brought the tribal papers and the PO recognized the marriage and agreed to refer to me as the spouse from now on instead of the "good time girl friend". However even though the state recommendation for my partner was low risk intervention, the PO officer feels that since he is appealing the case that places him on SOISP.... The therapist disagree but the PO is law. The PO felt that all appealling people should wait in Jail. Colorado has something called Immunity so the SO can go to therapy and be on Probation.
Aladdin4d is right....
My son is not biologically his, but this is the only father he knows. We have paper work from a therapist stating the harm to the child.. I think this will be a longer fight.
We are very lucky that he has his own place just a block from mine. I would just like to see him, talk to him...
Peekachu- Yes Kissing was the only sexual contact by him the victim started the kiss and touch him elsewhere, when she pulled away he stopped She hugged him goodnight and then went to bed. ON the day he moved out she filed charges.... Its Colorado Kissing is an offence here if you are 6 years old or if the victim is on Meds!
Reply #8 12/12/13 1:31pm
I agree with Coastie
This group is here to help those with loved ones who are convicted of sex offenses. This is a place where we don't judge because we are all in the same boat, regardless of the actual crime. If you don't feel completely comfortable posting freely on the main board because of the nature of your loved one's crime, feel free to post here because we all understand!