Releasing it to GodPosted on 07/31/12, 02:08 pm
At first, I was outraged and justifiibly so. EC's behavior is mean and callous. But I don't have to let that behavior dominate my thoughts or my life. I don't have to let it change who I am. I don't have to let it remove the love, hope and faith that I want in my life. I don't have to let it steal my joy because even in sorrow, we can find joy.
I don't have to harbor resentment, bitterness and anger - although all of these feelings are natural and even justified when others are abusive to us. But if I let myself be consumed with these emotions, I give power to someone else's bad behavior and in turn I hurt myself emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Do I keep begging, bribing, calling and grovelling? No. Do I stop being outraged at abusive behavior - no. I see it for what it is and let the natural emotions come, but then I release. Not shut the door in my EC's face. Not retaliate. Not attack. Not hate. I release.
I release everything negative. I release everything evil. I release the estrangement. I no longer let it have power over me. And with it I release my EC and his actions and his life to God.
When I release, I forgive because forgiveness brings me freedom and peace. When I release I no longer let another's wrong action shame me, blame me or control my life. When I release I give back to my EC his choices, his actions and all his negative emotions. I don't carry the weight of them any more. They don't belong to me. When I release, I again find compassion for my EC because he is lost and without the light of God in his life. When I release, I pray that my EC will find God and I give my EC to God trusting that God knows best how to handle the estrangement.
Today, I am free again. Free to love and hope and live in joy no matter what my circumstances are with my EC.
Reply #1 07/31/12 4:43pm
Maria, I absolutely love what you just wrote! I agree with everything that you said.
Yes, when the hurt was fresh, it was somewhat difficult to not feel really negative emotions..but I have released those negative emotions and therefore have released my sisters, my mother, my estranged son and his wife and I have forgiven them in my heart of hearts..I am free from those emotions today. God has been giving me a supernatural peace in my situation..and a peace that surpasses all understanding. What you said about forgiveness is so true..it allows me to release the evil, and it does not have a chance to take root..the root of bitterness, because of this awesome forgiveness that God has been helping me process in my inner being. I have been forgiven by the Lord because of Jesus Christ's death on the cross..and His forgiveness, grace and mercy are available to me every single moment of my day. Thank you dear sister for sharing this post..it is positive, and will help anyone who reads it. God bless you for writing this..yes..I am free to love and hope and live in joy..no matter my circumstances. Philippians 4 vs 4: "Rejoice in the Lord always, Again I say rejoice!"
Reply #2 07/31/12 7:23pm
So glad it can be a help. I was so down and discouraged and another Christian friend who has been praying for my EC enlightened me and reminded me that this is not mine to fix, but God's. We are free in Christ from all things dark because He is the light and we walk in light and not in darkness. I pray blesses for you and for all of us here that we can continue to encourage each other through this trial.
Reply #3 08/01/12 1:13am
MariaStevie, This is a beautiful prayer. I am asking the Lord to show me how to do it, with His strength, and help me release my ED and this 8 month estrangement to Him. God Bless you.
Reply #4 08/01/12 6:15am
MariaStevie, you are strong in Christ and He hears you for sure. I understand the need to release. We can't continuously dwell in all the negative emotions, although they are normal. Even now, with my ED living in my house (and, yes, I am still referring to her as "ED" since there is no meeting of the hearts with us), I need to continuously turn to God for guidance and strength since my feelings are a raw bundle of worry, hurt, and I'm most assuredly aware of ED's sound rejection of me as her mother. She is in God's hands, as is my GD. I can only do what I can to right my wrongs in ED's life and offer us both a second chance. I'm so sorry that your ES is treating you as he has, especially for your birthday.
Reply #5 08/03/12 9:33pm
Thanks everyone - let's stay encouraged and not let our trials get the better of us. Hugs & prayers.
Reply #6 08/20/12 10:03pm
Amen, and Amen, MariaStevie! This is what it is all about.
Estrangement makes it difficult to talk about with family, friends, neighbors and church members. Christians are NOT immune to broken families. Talk about your experiences with those who know how you feel and get positive support through your Christian faith...."In these last days difficult times will come, for men will be lovers of self...disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving...." (2 Tim 3:2) "O God and Heavenly Father, Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept