sage777

I think my control over my body is about to be intruded on

Posted on 06/05/09, 12:56 am

What do I do? I think my psych.med manager is about to interfier in my own weight management. She had told me during the last vitals check that, if I last even one more pound, we'd have to take action. Well...not trying really and wearing heavy shoes I had lost 3 pounds. I am afraid. She had a client this time right after m e so she was'nt able to know my weight. However she did make a coment about it during session. ( how a person can see three less pounds is beyond me)
Something is gona change, and I am going to be accused of something I dont want anyone to touch. My mental health (meds) could be at stake. My weight is definitely at risk. My control over the weight I have is at risk. I am scared, nervouse,I feel deffensive and deffensless. I dont know how to avoid this crashing around me. Is there a way? Why do I feel so helpless? It's silly.
She had me make an appointment for a month out verses the typical two months.
Does any one know how to gain weight without gaining any fat build up that I would notice?
Any advice or comfort at all would be appreciated and please........dont tell me, maybe I need to gain weight, because I am quiet comfortable where I am at.
Please help...hug

• Reply #1 06/17/09  7:42am
  
  becka06
  Hello love. I think that if your weight is low and continuing to drop that it makes sense that your psych. would be concerned. For starters when your weight is too low a lot of meds will stop being effective so for that sake you should really try to work on gaining the weight. Also b/c you have an eating disorder and are most likely very aware of your body you are going to notice the smallest changes in you body so to be honest you aren't going to be able to gain weight and not notice it. The upside is that if you have people who are supportive and you can keep reminding yourself that your body needs so much body fat to maintain a healthy functioning level for your well-being then you can get through this rough time. It won't be a walk in the park but you can do this. Hang in there and keep taking those baby steps towards recovery! You can do it!
• Reply #2 06/24/09  2:08am
  
  sage777
  Thank you Becca , I appreciate your insite and kindness. What I maybe should do and what I am willing to do, at this time is very different ! It scares me, it horrifies me. If only I could choose where the weight/fat goes. Since I know where it does go, I just know it would drive me mad to have to gain. It also is scary because I think it would cause me to think about food more and that could lead to binging and guilt, depression etc. I dont have much of a support system, expecially for that. I am sure some would like to see me gain weight, but they dont understand how it all effects me etc.
  
  Does any one else have any words of wisdom? Thanks again Becca! hugs!
• Reply #3 06/24/09  8:22pm
  
  Jage
  Try weight training to put on muscle. It is much more dense, so it weighs more per square inch, and you wouldn't be adding fat. Also, it raises your metabolism. And, it's GREAT for your bones.
• Reply #4 06/25/09  3:07am
  
  sage777
  Thanks Jage, thats right up my alley, I can picture it. It's a good plan for sure. If I have to go down the path I'll aim for that direction. Kinda nervous but baby steps (like Becca said) does make it a little less overwelming. Thank you again!!!! Hope you have a sunny day, on the inside as well as outside!

this group is for people strugging with wanting recovery