AllisonsMom

Caregiver Burnout... scarily accurate for me...you too?

Posted on 06/15/09, 07:08 pm

Hi Everyone..I know I haven't been here in awhile.. work has been crazy and perhaps some of the below can explain too. I decided to google caregiver burnout and my, oh my, look what popped up... I will be totally honest and admit that I am feeling/doing each and everyone of them (except the drinking and smoking, but I have found substitutes that accomplish the same thing)... Thought I'd post it here in case you are feeling them too so you will know you're not crazy or alone... just maybe "burned out"...

Caregiver burnout is something you may not notice, but people you know may notice changes in you and express their concern. Here are some signs of caregiver burnout:

* Being on the verge of tears or crying a lot
* Feeling helpless or hopeless
* Overreacting to minor nuisances
* Feeling constantly exhausted
* Losing interest in work
* Decrease in productivity of work
* Withdrawing from social contacts
* Increasing use of alcohol or stimulants
* Nervous habits such as chain smoking
* Change in eating patterns
* Change in sleeping patterns
* Increasing use of medications for sleeplessness, anxiety, depression
* Inability to relax
* Scattered thinking
* Feeling increasingly resentful
* Being short-tempered with care recipient frequently
* Increasing thoughts of death

• Reply #1 06/15/09  7:22pm
  
  AllisonsMom
  I meant to add that I did not post this to sound like I'm whining or complaining... it was just a WAKE UP CALL for me... some of these symptoms I was blaming on other possibilities.. like "scattered thinking" and "Losing interest/Decreased productivity of work"... sleeplessness... short-tempered... thought maybe something was/is physically wrong with me. Again, not whining, but thinking.... what's up with this?
  
  If you're in the same boat... wish I had some answers... and if you have some realistic answers..please share... :-)
• Reply #2 06/15/09  7:31pm
  
  Ohana
  I don't mean to shock you but I am a care-taker, the needy one, the person on the receiving end. The surprise is, is that I also feel all of those things from trying to deal with chronic illness that has me disabled. My biggest concern is that I will 'suck' the life out of those that help me. Mostly they are upset because I try too much or try things I should know I can't do or I try things when they are not looking ! LOL Sometimes they do things before I can ,because people who love me find it painful to watch me struggle. I would be the same way if it were them. When they 'beat' me to the task...I feel like they have no patience for me but other times I am very grateful. I have had a few years to adjust to my situation and I have struggled to regain all that I possibly can. Now I take the attitude to 'bloom' where fate has planted me and try to keep my self respect. I start each day with a sigh of relief that I woke up. Instead of asking 'why me?' each day....I try to ask 'why not me?'
  Can you get away for a few days of relaxation ? Sounds like you may need a vacation. Hope you feel better about your life real soon. Hugs of encouragement. OhanaMarie
• Reply #3 06/16/09  6:57am
  
  MAC22
  It's interesting Donna and Marie how this effects all parties. I've seen, felt and witnessed all of the above during my time with my husband and I don't think anyone gets off lightly.
  
  Somehow, someway those in this situation need to navigate a better solution and not be overwhelmed with guilt or frustration. Easier said than done I know...however, if you can't get away from the situation, I see no other choice if one is to continue.
  
  Personally, I have no answers to the situation, if I did I would of done them. I found myself imploding throughout this journey. I like you Donna, was the only one in the household doing it all, however, not the physical extent that you go through each day.
  
  I often wonder considering there is such a lack of support for those in need by any state or government authorities, if creating a volunteer situation within our communities is the way to go to give some sort of relief? No doubt a naive concept...
  
  Whole situation is tough.
• Reply #4 06/16/09  8:34am
  
  Ohana
  Sometimes the Red Cross, nursing homes, hospitals, support groups or volunteer groups do day-care type activities to allow the care giver an afternoon away. I use a small hospital and they have a program to allow an overnight 'guest' for a fee....like a medical motel. Example: a business man who can't make it back home because of a missed flight , weather or extended meeting. He contacts the hospital & someone brings the person to them or they send the transportation bus to the home to pick up the needy person. I know of an attorney who takes care of his mom and this is a blessing to him several times a year. My hubby had an out of town seminar to attend on my 3rd day home & we hired a lady to sit with me. It eased his mind & gave me confidence and she earned some cash pay ! We all know about cash.
• Reply #5 06/21/09  10:09am
  
  Pounder
  Realistic answers...well put.
  
  People hand out a lot of advice, but really don't understand most times how this can take a toll on a person. I get the most help with the anxiety and stress from laughter, exercise, deep breathing exercises and music. Simple things, can be done alone, they don't take too much time, but seem to give me a that extra oomph I need to keep pushing forward.
  
  Take breaks...everyone preaches this to me, but then never offer to help...same story for many I know. But when I start feeling totally consumed, I take a break. I do something just for me, even if it is a long walk.
  
  My neighbors I'm sure think I'm a nutball...deep breathing, blaring old motown music and walking around the neighborhood....but hey...whatever it takes right?
  
  You are an amazing woman who has such compassion. Try to use a little on you and laugh and take a few deep breaths. I again find myself wishing we all lived closer. We would have one powerful support group!
• Reply #6 07/27/09  6:24am
  
  ladyspoonerism
  I think I have this too. All symptoms except the increased thoughts of death.
• Reply #7 10/20/09  12:25am
  
  ladymay
  hello all....lonely depressed injured caregiver here...looking forward to some upbeat intelligent conversation.
• Reply #8 10/20/09  1:38pm
  
  zzzjoy
  Welcome LadyMay, This is a wonderful group of ladies to be friends with. The best sense of humor, bar none!!
  I, too am a caregiver and it does get lonely quite often. Have you checked out the Caregivers support group on here? It's great too. I don't know what your situation is but there are support groups for dementia, alzheimers, or aging parents and more. Best wishes to you , Joy
• Reply #9 10/20/09  2:48pm
  
  Ohana
  Hi LadyMay ! Glad to meet you. We have many conversations... upbeat ones...sure do.....I won't swear to the intelligent part ! I will attest to the fact that we hold one another up, ... for whatever time it takes. We just have as much fun as we can and try to ignore the miserable times.
• Reply #10 10/20/09  8:26pm
  
  MAC22
  Joy and Marie, you are both amazing! I feel such guilt being away consumed with my own life/business etc right now and am very impressed that you both stepped up to the plate and welcomed our new friend Ladymay. Thanks for being so caring and giving and a I hope we as a group can regroup more efficiently and get our 'groove' back. Winter last year was a blast.
  xox

Funny, intelligent, responsible, kind people supporting each other through life's challenges.