Characteristics of Bad Communication
Posted by Survivable - 01/19/09, 01:01 pm
1. Truth- you insist that you are right and the other person is wrong.
2. Blame- you say that the problem is the other persons fault.
3. Martyrdom- you claim that you are an innocent victim.
4. Put-down- you imply that the other person is a loser because he or she always or never does certain things.
5. Hopelessness- you give up and insist there is no point in trying.
6. Demandingness- you say you are entitled to better treatment but you refuse to ask for what you want in a direct, straightforward way.
7. Denial- you insist that you do not feel angry, hurt, or sad when you really do.
8. Passive aggression- you pout or withdraw or say nothing. You may storm out of the room or slam doors.
9. Self-blame- instead of dealing with the problem, you act as if you are an awful, terrible person.
10. Helping- instead of hearing how depressed, hurt, or angry the other person feels, you try to solve the problem or help him or her.
11. Sarcasm- your words or tone of voice convey tension or hostility which you are not openly acknowledging.
12. Scapegoating- you suggest that the other person has a problem and that you are sane, happy, and uninvolved in the conflict.
13. Defensiveness- you refuse to admit any wrong-doing or imperfection
14. Counterattack- instead of acknowledging how the other person feels, you respond to their criticism by criticizing them.
15. Diversion- instead of dealing with how you both feel in the here-and-now, you list grievances about past injustices.
Good communication involves self-expression and listening, bad communication involves a refusal to share your feelings openly or to listen to what the other person has to say. Becoming argumentative and defensive is one sign of bad communication. You may contradict the other person without trying to understand his or her feelings.
Author Unknown
2. Blame- you say that the problem is the other persons fault.
3. Martyrdom- you claim that you are an innocent victim.
4. Put-down- you imply that the other person is a loser because he or she always or never does certain things.
5. Hopelessness- you give up and insist there is no point in trying.
6. Demandingness- you say you are entitled to better treatment but you refuse to ask for what you want in a direct, straightforward way.
7. Denial- you insist that you do not feel angry, hurt, or sad when you really do.
8. Passive aggression- you pout or withdraw or say nothing. You may storm out of the room or slam doors.
9. Self-blame- instead of dealing with the problem, you act as if you are an awful, terrible person.
10. Helping- instead of hearing how depressed, hurt, or angry the other person feels, you try to solve the problem or help him or her.
11. Sarcasm- your words or tone of voice convey tension or hostility which you are not openly acknowledging.
12. Scapegoating- you suggest that the other person has a problem and that you are sane, happy, and uninvolved in the conflict.
13. Defensiveness- you refuse to admit any wrong-doing or imperfection
14. Counterattack- instead of acknowledging how the other person feels, you respond to their criticism by criticizing them.
15. Diversion- instead of dealing with how you both feel in the here-and-now, you list grievances about past injustices.
Good communication involves self-expression and listening, bad communication involves a refusal to share your feelings openly or to listen to what the other person has to say. Becoming argumentative and defensive is one sign of bad communication. You may contradict the other person without trying to understand his or her feelings.
Author Unknown
