Understanding Normal Reactions to Loss
Posted by Survivable - 09/16/08, 04:09 pm1. Denial
a. Knowing it in your head, but not in your heart
b. Sense of Disbelief: “This cannot be happening to me.”
c. “We will get back together, we are just taking a break.”
d. Apathy: “I do not care.” Or “It did not really affect me.”
2. Anger
a. Sense of powerlessness and frustration
b. “This is so unfair!”
c. “This should not have happened!”
d. Blaming self, others, God, etc.
3. Bargaining
a. Feelings of guilt and regret
b. “If only I would have…”
c. “I wish I could have…”
4. Depression
a. Prolonged sadness
b. Difficulty saying goodbye and moving on
c. Feeling helpless or hopeless
d. Withdrawing or Isolating self
5. Acceptance
a. Process of grieving and returning to normal functioning
b. Getting over a fear of forming relationships
c. Willingness to trust again
Normal Thoughts and Feelings Relating to Loss1. Shock
2. Physical Symptoms
a. Waves of feelings
b. Tightness in the throat
c. Emptiness in the stomach
d. Tiredness or weakness
3. Emotional Release
a. Crying
b. Anger outbursts
4. Loneliness
5. Guilt
6. Panic or Fear
7. Hostility, Intense Anger, or Irritability
8. Difficulty returning to your daily routine
9. Readjustment: hope gradually returns and you begin to get back to your normal routine, positive outlook toward the future.
Unknown Resource
You know, my family, for all its weirdness, deals with grief and loss in pretty healthy ways, surprisingly! It was when I got out into the big, wide world, and saw other, very different, reactions, that I started to become more educated, and more enlightened, about this. This is an excellent post, Thank you.
I also understand that Dr. Joyce Brothers wrote a very excellent book, after the loss of her husband, that is very compassionately done and highly readable--it's about her own surprising journey through the grief process.
girlieB
It is how I am feeling at present.I am so upset that partner is unwell with bipiolar Why do I bame myself.I have to remind myself that he has been well for 2 years and it is always this time of year which is hard for him.I feel worn out as he is only sleeping a few hours per day.I am also having anger outbursts and should know better.I am working hard and doing the right things.
gruesomegull
THIS WAS SO ON. THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IT INTO WORDS AND WRITTING IT DOWN.
ROB2211
This is amazing. Thanks for posting it here. Its good to see feelings explained.
erinzm
I was released from jail on July 10th of this year and during my 10 month incarceration I lost my grandfather who I was extremely close to. Lately I find myself all of a sudden processing feelings and events that happened while I was away and it often takes me aback. For the past week for some reason my Pop's death has been at the forefront of my mind and I'm doing the whole thing-screaming, crying, etc. Thanks for putting it all out there for me to see its not just me. They say that God brings you to the places you need to be and this post is where I needed to be tonight. Thank you and God bless, Kim
angelgirl24
Thank you all for sharing.
Survivable