4 years ago I was in the hospital and Pops came just in time for my phys therapy. He walked with me further than I had. He was so happy. with him your victories had to be pretty big. And now just to see me walk that far made him smile so big. He was so happy. Later that week I baked him a pie, yep, right there in the hospital. And 6 days later we celebrated my birthday. And those were the last time we celebrated. In a little more than a month he would have surgery and I would never talk to him again. Today I had one helluva day. I bought some balloons and let them go as I've done since. I went to dinner at an arab resturaunt. We spent to much time not getting along. When I needed him the most he was there. Not long after he died it dawned on me, I never danced with my dad. we had plans for after I came home, we were going to go dancing. He wanted to give me a party after I came home. He even told me I could go any where in the world, and take a friend. He felt responsible for me being sick. I can never take back all the bad times and there would never again be any good times. I need him right now. I miss him so much, did he ever really know how much I loved him. Will he know I really do understand why he chose not to tell me about the surgery he could and more than likely would kill him. It hurts so bad. Pops if you are listening I will always be your little girl. I miss you. I love you..........your little girl, suhaila