Well I have been having trouble lately I trying to come to grips for a long time with the fact that its not going to come easy for me For me personally I have been struggling with my weight all my life and I believe with all my heart that it is the one thing that keeping me from having a child of my own but every time I try it gets harder Three years ago when I was my heaviest I was at work and was watching a news program that women that were overweight and had a hard time concieveing and had gastric bypass surgery and after they lost the weight they got pregnant That day I felt so disgusted with myself I decided I was going to do something about it Well I lost 50 lbs in six months but into the middle of my weight loss my dad got sick and it went on the back backer and wound up gaining 20 lbs of it back Well after I got thru with all that I went back on the horse but the lower my wieght is the slower the results and it can be discouraging but I know if dont do it it will be that much longer but the longer it goes on the harder it gets for me to stick with it The thing that gets me about this the most I see women that are my size and bigger get PG all the time and it makes me so angry and bitter and when I hear that women like me that have suceeded and it make me so jealous and I feel like a failure I hate the fact that this is the one thing that keeping me from my dream but its the hardest thing I will ever do but for others it isnt an issue and it sucks Right now Im begining this journey again i have been on plan for a week I feel blah about it but Im doing it I hoping for better results this time