I've been struggling in my walk with God lately. Instead of patience, peace and joy that comes through Christ, I've been reverting to old, non-Christian behavior patterns that include impatience, envy, pride, among others. I have trouble letting go and trusting God's plan for my life, and instead, have been trying to run my life on self-will. I've been try to find peace and satisfaction from things other than Christ (mostly, women). And, I haven't been keeping in God's Word or in fellowship with other Christians consistently. Basically, I have been feeling distant from God.

Today, I had plans to catch up on a bunch of errands, ride my motorcycle and generally take it easy. But God had other plans! A Christian single mom who is in my Bible study group had a leaking water heater and she wanted me to look at it this afternoon, since I'm a plumber. I went to her house and found the heater tank rusted through, so we got a new one at Home Depot. But, the new water heater turned out to be defective and also leaked! So, I had to disconnect it, return it to the store, exchange it for yet another heater, and install that one. Basically, I had to do the job twice due to a defective product. It was a bit frustrating, but I got the job done.

Afterward, she fed me some pizza, and, since there was a Christian coffeehouse nearby, I decided to go there and listen to the band. The band had a male lead singer and a female backup singer. It was nice seeing some of my Christian friends there, but I was tired from working and not getting enough sleep, so I didn't get into the music too much at first. The female singer, who was attractive, had an expressive face, and at one point, she glanced at the lead singer with a smile. I don't know if they were a romantic couple, or if their relationship was just limited to the stage, but, a man and woman can communicate volumes without saying a word just by the expression on their face, and the expression she communicated just made me melt with longing, because I miss that kind of intimacy with a woman. I have been struggling with loneliness since my divorce, and one of my greatest desires is to marry again someday, although I'm not ready quite yet. So, it was bittersweet to watch this woman with a beautifully expressive face.

Then, the lead singer sang an original song while he played his acoustic guitar, it was a song about witnessing for Christ to a coworker. It was a very moving song, and really focused my attention on the music, instead of the female singer. As the band went to the next song, another excellent original, I began to feel something, physically and spiritually. My back had been tired and sore from all the work I did earlier, but I actually felt full of energy again, the soreness disappeared and I felt a sensation like my back straightening out! Spiritually, I felt refreshed as well, and the feeling of loneliness disappeared. After the last song, I shared my experience (well, not the part about the woman!) with the lead singer and thanked him for being a much-needed blessing to me.

On the ride home, I had some prayer time with God. Usually, I pray silently, but tonight, I felt compelled to pray out loud. I was a bit hesitant at first, but then I thought, why should I be shy about talking to my God out loud? So I just started talking and praying, and it felt like my walk with God reached a new level. Among the things I prayed for was to be able to focus on Christ at church tomorrow. Now, this sounds like something that shouldn't need to be prayed for, since Christ IS the reason we worship as a congregation, but I'm easily distracted because I'm so self-conscious in church. It's hard because it seems like I'm the only single person, and everyone else is either part of a couple or a family. I feel out of place. But I need to focus not on myself, but on Christ.

God's blessings didn't end with my coffeehouse experience. I got home around 11 p.m., and walked to my backyard, where a nearly full moon silhouetted several trees. I gazed up at the stars in the milky sky, felt the cool dampness in the air and listened to crickets chirping, as I soaked in the glory of God's creation and thanked Him for it.

I was at the same coffeehouse a week ago, with a Christian rock band, and that lead singer, during an introduction to a song, said that once we accept Christ and become a child of God, that we may stray off, but He will always bring us back home. Tonight, God did exactly that for me. Praise God!