i'm very anti-tradition, anti-ritual, anti-oppression etc., to me christmas is a spiritual time and to me spiritual is peaceful and relaxing. i love the bible. i enjoy bible on tape or cd, i get something different out of it every time, the more it is played the more i get out of it. i understand christmas better now than i ever did, but that is from being a religion major in college for a while.
to be honest the santa and family part of christmas seems silly now because it has nothing to do with what we are celebrating. i love holidays and the time off, but the presents part brings out the greed and stress side of all of us and shouldn't be the focus.
i used to be way more superficial even though i purposely would try all different kinds of things and then try the traditional again and always see the horror stories unfold (which i think is a hoot anyway) at these beautiful homes, it always brought me back to why do we celebrate it like this. skiing for christmas helped because it communes with nature it feels spiritual. realizing i have become a bigger person and am more low key and "get it" now and can actually recall adults in my life who got it a long time ago and i didn't understand it beyond the presents and lights and food.
i'm glad it has meaning now. i'm glad i never went overboard on the tradition thing. the last person i saw who was overly like that had bipolar and is generally suicidal after holidays even though her house is done up and she cooks an abundance of food and still smokes pot even with her meds. she has supportive family. she is anti-spiritual though and to her christmas is santa. lol.
its always nice to see everyone, but its such a roller coaster too and so many underlying layers that i never noticed when i was young. its a smaller life now because it is mostly just us and visiting friends and church, we avoid extended family gatherings because its so complicated. its simpler to keep it small and real. we held our ground and refused to cave in to "tradition" which when it started felt rebellious and now IT has become the "tradition"? i never understood smaller being better, serenity and peace being a goal, when i was young, i thought the bigger the better back then. lol. i don't think my daughter goes through a rollercoaster from from holidays because our's isn't so high key. its a day to look to be very mildly entertained, and that is all for her. i was like that when i was very little as well, but not later on. i compare mine and her's a lot lately because i am realizing how different it is. simple and small is easier i hope it is better too? i also understand for the first time how many people back when i was still attending extended family bashes for holidays, how many when i was very young DID NOT live like that. i never understood that until recently, nor did i understand back then how it is better, perhaps because it is truer (less acting and drama, more of the christ spirit this way) and it also won't give me a heart attack from stress. lol.
Discussion Topic
CHRISTMAS through the years, same or different?
Posted on 12/06/08, 09:01 pm
CHRISTMAS through the years. Do you think it is the same just different names for basically the same toy? Does everything look the same? What do you think?
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Reply #1 12/06/08 9:22pm
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Reply #2 12/10/08 12:48pm
That is a great way to look at it. And truly you've given your daughter a gift, you've been like a buffer for her :) I bet!
Christmas has been both GREAT and awful but fortunately in the last few years the members of my family who do get together now feel about the same way regarding the whole thing. Which means we all don't feel like being phony, because things like Phoniness, egos, competition, materialism, played a huge role for us growing up, in the 60's and 70's. And now those responsible for that mayhem, fights that ended up with scraped knees, are all elderly and feeble, with very little fight left in them LOL.
Christmas is interesting for us because my dh never celebrated Christmas, and his kids never celebrated either, because of their religion. So last year was technically their first "Christmas," in the sense of decorations (lights, Christmas tree, stockings), eating a big dinner, and opening gifts. Even though they're all adults now LOL we did do gifts. I can't speak for them but I think they enjoyed the gifts and the "new" tradition. They didn't celebrate Christmas because of its roots, beginning in the Roman times, with the debauchery of Saturnalia, which was Christianized by the missionaries converting them. http://penelope.uchicago.edu/~grout/encyclopaedia_romana/calendar/saturnalia.html and therefore to a "true" Christian, they do not celebrate Christmas, it's considered Heathen.
I'm not that strict and I do enjoy the festivities. I love the smell of the pine tree, I like the music, the lights, the food, and even the family aspect. Now that I am over all the drama I mentioned above. I think it is a time, to gather with people you wouldn't necessarily choose to be around. Usually somebody manages to say or do something hurtful, and for this I am grateful my family does not DRINK LOL because I think there's a reason they went sober, that happened long before my existence. My brother comments he likes his in-laws because they imbibe and relax but then, they probably can handle it. Not everybody can.
I don't consider myself strict on the traditional rituals but I do like the tree up for a long time. And I do like books like the Junky's Christmas. Before my son was born Christmas was always a little off-the-wall and I say I enjoy it much more with all the kids around :) it's so much better to see it through their eyes. I'd like to add a little more volunteering, service, generosity, charity, and a church service to it than I do now.
It's best to figure out ways to avoid the stress as we're all learning :) stress kills. So the best gift we can give ourselves is to go at an even pace and find acceptance, for ourselves, and for that loving family LOL -
Reply #3 12/11/08 9:03pm
i'd love to do charity work for christmas too! but i don't have it yet, i wish i did. i have gone as far as the skiing or beach for christmas day as the holy day etc., keeping it quiet and mildly entertaining which is actually full circle for me, as when i was very young it was like that, it only got complex later on (or when i was very young i was too young to comprehend what was going on around me. lol.)
i still enjoy all the movies. i still enjoy the tree. i HATE big tree though, its too much fuss. so i finally understand that and i didn't until a few years ago. at our beach house we used to have a huge tree in the closet with light on it. it was a closet just for the tree because that foyer is two stories, but we were allowed to take it out anytime during the year and "play" christmas, so it never felt at all stressful. putting together a big tree and care of it when its not that tree, freaks me out. i can actually feel the relief of not having it. lol. i need a new manger though, it bugs me without one here. its in the missing christmas tub...at least so far.
what religion is your husband cypher? my friend is jehovah witness and they don't do christmas either, they do the last supper and its at their church and paid for by the church. it sounds like a cool celebration as well and of course, no stress.
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