Seems like media and the fear of the unknown. The only thing I can think of is to offer in some way to help them learn about it. A lot of times, people fear what they don't understand, but once they learn more about it, they realize it's not something to fear.
I lost a best friend when I started having symptoms. I left for a hospital, and when I came back many months later, it was as though I no longer existed. I think it was fear.
Not everyone will react so negatively toward bipolar. In my experience, the only people who have reacted at all negatively were people who had absolutely no understanding of it. And then, there are the people that still have no understanding, but just shrug their shoulders and say "Cool, what do you wanna do later?" I think I have been lucky to have run into mostly the people who shrug and don't care or have some understanding and are there when I need them.
If you need someone to talk to, I am on often. Feel free to add me.
Discussion Topic
What to do when your family is afraid of your illness?
Posted on 10/18/09, 10:22 am
I was officially diagnosed as bi-polar 4 years ago and told my mom who promptly forbid me from telling any other family member, she wanted to be the one to decide who knew and who didn't. Those family members then stopped speaking to me and kept me well away from their children. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for about 15 years, why is bi-polar so much scarier? I have no friends except my husband and clinicians and am terrified to interact with people now because my "disease" might scare them away. My in-laws hate me and beg my husband to divorce me. Have you been through this and what did you do? Would love some support, thanks.
-
Reply #1 10/18/09 2:53pm
-
Reply #2 10/18/09 3:53pm
Thanks for your reply! Fear is understandable but I felt like, this is my own family for crying out loud and they're acting like jackasses. (pardon the language) I have given out websites, basic info and tried to speak of my experiences in a watered down fashion. They don't need to know all the gory details but some have seen me in full wackadoo mania. My best friend from college is simply in denial that I have BP, haven't spoken to him in almost 2 years. I just feel so isolated, hopefully joining this discussion board and meeting people like you will help. Liza -
Reply #3 10/20/09 2:20am
Wow, Honey! I'm so sorry. I'm fortunate (?) to be BP2 and don't go into full-blown mania, not that most of the population knows the difference between BP1 and BP2. Good for you to recognize that your family are acting like jackasses, not that something is wrong with you - you aren't offering them any excuse to behave that way. Ug. It sounds like you and your husband should pack everything up and move to somewhere saner, away from your family and away from his family. I'm glad he's sticking with you. My wife has stuck with me (though my in-laws are a kinder, gentler sort) and it's made worlds of difference in my life.
I don't know if it's my part of the world, but I've never received a harsh word or attitude from anyone I've told. I'm a student, gone back to community college after many years away, and I tell my classmates in those "tell me about yourself" conversations. I don't treat it as a particularly big deal 'cause it's only a little bit of the bigger me. I think it was my mom who told my younger brother and sister about my diagnosis, with my permission, of course, but they all dealt so well with the fact that I'm married to a woman that I suppose my being bipolar was no big deal.
You might want to go out and practice on people whose opinions don't very much matter to you (classmates, in my case). You might find that if they're not your family they won't act like jackasses about it. I think in this case that it really is your family who's the problem, and that they're being emotionally inbred - i.e.: the thinking problems that one of them has are shared by all and it's gotten kinda stunted.
Good luck to you, it can and does get better! -
Reply #4 10/20/09 3:47pm
Liza... DS is filled with caring people who understand exactly what you go through... you will find support and advice you need here....
I have family members who want to deny my BP....mostly because that side of the family has the history of mental problems.... I told them this is an illness and I did not choose to be this way.... would you deny that I had cancer? They really deny the fact that it can be genetic......hush...hush...
Anyway, I wish you all the luck and hope your situation gets better... hugs -
Reply #5 10/20/09 3:58pm
What a peculiar coincidence... My mom doesn't believe it's hereditary either!
I'm the best mirror I can possibly be but she just can't recognize my signs and symptoms in herself. Ah well, at least *one* of us is properly medicated. -
Reply #6 10/21/09 5:03pm
My sister is dx BP too and unmedicated.... and her son too... Oh no.... it's not hereditary... just one big coincidence! -
Reply #7 10/27/09 10:12am
My Mother's side of the family definitely have some issues with BP, but none of them will admit it, and of course since I was the one who decided to get help and deal with it I'm the outcast that no one will talk to me anymore, except 2 of my cousins. I know how you feel. My in-laws are very cold to me also. I don't know if they have ever told my husband to divorce me, but I think his mother was hoping it would happen! And the ironic thing I have seen is she seems to be BP also, but wouldn't dare to admit it to herself or anybody else!
Welcome
