missu

How do you forgive yourself when they won't?

Posted on 10/17/09, 10:09 pm

Just wanted some opinions if anyone is interested in giving them or if you can relate to this feeling. In your dark hours you've done or said some things that really hurt someone you truly loved and cared for. They won't forgive you. How do you forgive yourself?

• Reply #1 10/17/09  10:42pm
  
  eliza983
  I can totally relate to this feeling and I wish I had an answer to this.....
• Reply #2 10/18/09  8:52am
  
  hatshetsup
  I had terrible feelings of guilt for a long time. Not long ago I decided I wasn't going to apologise anymore for something that wasn't my fault and I had no control over. The ones we want forgivness from are the lucky ones, they don't have to deal with the pain of bipolar. If these people truly loved and cared about us they would realise we weren't in our right minds when we said and did these things. Leave them to it and concentrate on yourself, we might not ever be able to be 'normal' but we can learn to be the best we can. x
  
• Reply #3 10/19/09  12:26am
  
  missu
  I think it's still hard for my loved ones to even believe that I have this illness and to wrap their heads around what it does. Sometimes people are just not very understanding of things outside of their personal realm.
• Reply #4 10/22/09  1:46am
  
  Selinda
  OFTEN it's hard for people to understand things outside their personal realm. You may even find that you'll want to learn how to forgive them. Once you recognize that an understanding of your issues is genuinely beyond them you'll find, or at least I've found, that it's easier to be in sympathy with them and, in forgiving them, forgive yourself. It's a little circular, but it's worked for me.
• Reply #5 10/22/09  11:55pm
  
  missu
  Thanks Selinda that is good advice. Im still working on forgiving myself too for some of the things I have done but maybe by forgiving others it might help me cope better.
• Reply #6 10/23/09  12:11am
  
  freebirdL
  i wish i knew the answer... i feel like its uselesss for me 2 ask 4 forgiveness when i keep repeating the cycle of destruction.. over n over again..i hope there will come a day that i can look into the mirror n actualy like the reflection lookin back @ me
• Reply #7 10/26/09  1:02pm
  
  missu
  oh my gosh freebird I know that feeling so much. there's only been a few times when I liked what I saw and I was manic at those times so it doesn't count because I didn't have a good sense of what I was looking at...Sometimes I think it's going to take until I die to figure it out but it's good to have some support from people who understand...thanks for the reply!

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