Discussion Topic
Need some advice
Posted on 06/24/09, 06:12 pm
Hi, I know i don't usually post on here that often, but I really need some advice. I am in the middle of fighting for disability benefits from a private company (not SSDI), and my psychologist of ten years and I are having some trouble. I owe him a lot of money, since I haven't been paid in month. In addition to that, he hasn't been very supportive of my going on disability, while i know that working has sent me into cycling. In addition to that, he's dragged his feet at sending in the forms. This has been going on since Feb and now its almost July. He finally got everything into them (we are on the appeal stage) but not without saying that if i didn't pay (or I should say a family member) he wouldn't send in the last of what was needed. That turned into a shouting match and he accused me of being unstable and needing more medication. I have to say, in the ten years since I've been diagnosed this is the best I've felt, and I attribute that to not working. Having that stress removed is incredible.
Long story short, I told him today I no longer wanted to see him after 10 years. He called my choice manic and then expressed his anger at it. He then said that he told the private disability company that I would go on more medicine to stabilize me, but I feel that I don't need any more medication at this point. I've spoken to all the people in life and none of them feel I am acting manic.
So here is my question--will ending my relationship with my psychologist hurt my disability chances? I am seeing a lawyer next week to have him help.
Would appreciate any thoughts you have on this.
Long story short, I told him today I no longer wanted to see him after 10 years. He called my choice manic and then expressed his anger at it. He then said that he told the private disability company that I would go on more medicine to stabilize me, but I feel that I don't need any more medication at this point. I've spoken to all the people in life and none of them feel I am acting manic.
So here is my question--will ending my relationship with my psychologist hurt my disability chances? I am seeing a lawyer next week to have him help.
Would appreciate any thoughts you have on this.
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Reply #1 06/24/09 6:13pm
One more thing--he did send the final form without payment. But that was after a huge shouting match. -
Reply #2 06/24/09 7:59pm
It is a difficult one, because you both have a point. However, it is a pity he couldn't be a little more accommodating, particularly as you have been seeing him for 10 years. If you can build bridges by compromise, I would try and do so. Is there any way someone can give you part of the money required, enough to stave off a complete cut off from your psych? Is there any way you could get a second opinion without it costing a lot more money? It would be better if you and the psych could make amends, particularly as something very important hangs on it. I was interested in your comments about working. I was the opposite. Even in my darkest hour, the routine of work kept me stable. I was often cycling during holiday periods, if I wasn't careful. I had quite stressful jobs too, and often felt like screaming - as you do, but it anchored me. It just goes to show what a bitch bi polar is, because you never know what is often good for you even though it's your own brain calling the shots. Good luck anyway. -
Reply #3 06/24/09 8:11pm
Thanks tudor. I think work made me cycle because i worked in a high stress field. I would shut down after work and then end up sleeping like 10 hours, which made me late for work the next day. so then i would force myself to sleep less, which weakened my mood.
Also, I've wanted a new doc for a while. I just don't feel comfortable with him anymore. I don't tell him anything. we just sit and stare at each other. -
Reply #4 06/25/09 10:59pm
I think that clinches it. If you have got to that state of affairs with the current doc, that's no good at all for you. You obviously have lost confidence in him. Hope you can get an alternative psych. -
Reply #5 06/26/09 9:05am
hi, i read your story and i think he was acting un professionally, its so easy for people to blame everything on your illness wen that is NOT always the case! i understand his concern about his fee, im sure hes been let down in the past and the only way to prove your honesty is to pay him wen ur money gets thru, if he genuinely believes your illness is getting out of control then he is right to try to get you to see this, but by backing you in a corner he is actually making you worse, trust the people round you after all they love and care for you they hav no reason to lie, just try to break from him, assure him that as soon as u can you will pay him, then find someone who will offer you what you need without being personal, i hope you get thru this, take care -
Reply #6 06/26/09 9:13am
Thanks Tamira! I did tell him I no longer wanted to see him. I've hired a lawyer to help me with the disability. I appreciate your support.
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Reply #7 06/26/09 11:10am
hi again, your welcome! it makes me angry and sad to hear things like this, iv been fobbed off and virtually bullied by " professionals" in the past! im so glad your not letting him drag you down, let me know how you get on, and my name is tam, tamira is my other self, the naughty hyper side!! take care -
Reply #8 06/26/09 11:12am
I will. My appointment with the lawyer is next weds. I'll keep you updated. -
Reply #9 06/28/09 7:15pm
I think it was totally unethical for the pdoc to threaten to hold onto the forms until you paid your bill.
I'm glad you're finding another doctor. Why should you be paying a doctor who just stares at you? Sounds like he's given up on trying to help you. You definitely deserve better!
Good luck on your disability claim. I don't think changing doctors will have any affect on whether you get benefits. -
Reply #10 06/28/09 7:21pm
Thanks! I'll let you know how my meeting with the lawyer goes this week. I appreciate all your feedback.
Welcome
