bighotmama

words that judge and condemn

Posted on 06/20/08, 07:42 pm

I dont ever want to see the word "fault" appear with reference to ANYONE who is struggling with BP on this site ever again.

• Reply #1 06/20/08  7:48pm
  
  Tamara999
  AMEN!!!!!
• Reply #2 06/20/08  7:53pm
  
  mustangsue66
  "fault" I hate that word too, I don't think I ever use it, no I don't, that is why I thought this kind of support system would be beneficial, it is amazing what is going on and being said over there, the last postings about "experience" They want to know what experience means? OMG, I am sure they are out to get "me" just to piss me off and throw me into their depths of depression or mania...what do you guys read into this posting, let me know if it is me...sure happy this is an invite group, don't want anyone to join and find out that we are happy and mostly positive bpers...ha, ha...Hi Tamara, hope all is well, are you settled now?
• Reply #3 06/20/08  9:37pm
  
  Tamara999
  Yes! lol ... all settled in. Cats aren't as settled. Coco Chanel is doing great, but the boys ... ahhhh, the boys. Max Factor just wants to play ALL THE TIME and his restlessness interferes with my sleep. Armani is on the testy side (as always).
  
  Back on fault -- I already think EVERYTHING is my fault. You should see me on the job -- i am always taking the fall cuz I am sure I did something wrong. When people angrily say, "WHO DID THIS???" I say, "I did" because I MUST have! Right??
  
  Grew up with a "NOT MY FAULT" Mom. Therefore ......
• Reply #4 06/20/08  9:51pm
  
  matrixXxsurfr
  i hate that word as well it gives people the stigma that they brought on this disorder when they didn't it was just how they were born
• Reply #5 06/21/08  12:35am
  
  pastlight
  Not my fault mom. Not my fault step-dad. Not my fault teachers.
  Hell, I'm a sponge for blame. But you won't see me faulting anyone here. I just wish there was a fault switch so I could flip it!
• Reply #6 06/23/08  8:15am
  
  alwaysmile
  But isn't our own fault if we become abusive to others on any website? I hate the word as well, but I am not afaird to call myself on my own faults and mistakes BP or not.
• Reply #7 06/23/08  1:53pm
  
  NotcrazyJoJo
  I don't lay plan if I can help. I am big on faulting myself but not other paople.
• Reply #8 06/27/08  8:03am
  
  cheldear
  Hiking,
  
  we can make mistakes and be "at fault" in situations, but we are not "at fault" for having a disease. the better way to look at it is that we are "responsible for our disease and or reactions and behaviors with respect to it. We have a duty to learn about our disease as much as possible to enable us to be as stable as possible; but we are not at fault for having the disease". We may behave inappropriately at times, and we take "responsibility" for it, but "fault" has a connotation that we are inherently broken.
  
  So I submit that we take "responsibility" for our behaviors, but go with what Tracy said, and not allow ourselves to believe that we are "at fault" for having the disease.
• Reply #9 06/28/08  11:07pm
  
  mconrad85
  Sadly, when I was growing up, I put all the fault on my parents. I used to yell at them for even having me and that it was their genes that made me like this and that they should have stopped with my brother. But I knew that it wasnt their fault, I just wanted to seem like they had to take care of me my whole life, like a guilt trip. That was completely the wrong thing to do, for one thing now that I am trying to do things myself, my mom wont let go and still wont let me do things myself. I have to sneak around to do most things. Its a sad loving kind of thing. I dont blame myself for having bi-polar but I do sometimes blame myself for knowing when I am in a bad place and letting myself be around people and make them feel bad. I did a lot of things like make other people feel bad about themselves so that I wouldnt be the only one and they wouldn't leave me, that was a awful thing to do but I am trying to make amends.
• Reply #10 06/30/08  9:40am
  
  jeanb6
  Fault, let me see, mine yes others no. That has been my thinking which I will have to work continually I'm sure to overcome. Doesn't matter what the situation, I'm sure it is my fault somehow. As far as BP - no one's fault.

I need individuals with a positive outlook on bipolar, ones that are living with it and dealing with it just fine, taking their meds, not questioning every medication, or its side effects etc. This is a place to vent, a place for the mostly balanced bipolars...would appreciate all of your input, have a great weekend, let's try making a good go of this group...