I was just reading recently that the medical field is now considering that the bipolar disorder might be really a spectrum disorder like autism. This means that there could be individuals who have more depression and others that have more mania and then some that are right in the middle. I tend to be more the mania side. Belive me, this DOES affect my kids. I feel like a lunatic when I say or do things that are so irrational. At the moment I am thinking "This is crazy, why am I doing this?" but I usually can't stop and then I rationalize it, and after that, much later, the guilt begins. I don't know how to stop this cycle. The whole situation gets out of control along with my mind. I have found myself explaining things over and over to my 7 year old (then five and six) making sure she understands. She used to say to me "Ok mom, you've already told me over and over." But, I just can't seem to believe that she REALLY heard me correctly. It is crazy.
mehimandkids
Discussion Topic
balance
Posted on 02/19/09, 06:30 pm
I was reading one of the other topics that focused on how your bipolar affects your mothering...and I constantly wonder if I'm being selfish on those days when I can't get out of bed or can't stop crying. Where do you draw the line? How do you know when you are spending too much time working on your own issues and not enough time with your child? And at that point, what do you do about it? I have a lot of trouble with this issue and I'm wondering how you guys deal with it. Thanks for your feedback.
-
Reply #1 03/20/09 11:44am
-
Reply #2 03/20/09 10:59pm
I was just sitting here thinking about your original post and realizing I feel the same way as you do DinaS all the time! I think my daughter has a similar issue as me and I just don't know if I'm strong enough right now to go down that road with her. She is only 7. But, I think to myself, I sure wish I had known about MY problems earlier, how much happier I would have been as a child! I'm kind of mad at my mother for not looking into anything as far as my mental health goes. So, don't I owe my daughter more than what I received? Oh, where is the sanity?!
And, on the note of being depleted, how does one pay for all the meds and therapy? I guess we have so so insurance but pretty soon, this will all be too much $$$$$. What is everyone else doing?
Mehimandkids -
Reply #3 03/20/09 10:59pm
I was just sitting here thinking about your original post and realizing I feel the same way as you do DinaS all the time! I think my daughter has a similar issue as me and I just don't know if I'm strong enough right now to go down that road with her. She is only 7. But, I think to myself, I sure wish I had known about MY problems earlier, how much happier I would have been as a child! I'm kind of mad at my mother for not looking into anything as far as my mental health goes. So, don't I owe my daughter more than what I received? Oh, where is the sanity?!
And, on the note of being depleted, how does one pay for all the meds and therapy? I guess we have so so insurance but pretty soon, this will all be too much $$$$$. What is everyone else doing?
Mehimandkids -
Reply #4 04/05/09 7:27pm
Well, thanks for replying...I guess it's a tough topic or I would have received more replies. I know what you mean about saying things over and over...I have a tendency to do that too. Last week, my daughter was telling me that I was too cranky...that I had been cranky 3 days in a row because I hadn't slept. She was right...I was wicked cranky and there really was no reason for it. I feel that if I have an issue that needs to be worked on, I should find a way to deal with it on my own and not take it out on my child. It's just soooo difficult. I hope you are able to decipher if your daughter has an illness and how to help her cope with it...I know it's hard to imagine that your child will suffer like you do...I think about it all the time. I'm hoping that your daughter is just going through normal kid ups and downs...and that it becomes easier for you to cope. On the subject of finances for meds and therapy, I am very lucky to have Medicare and Mass Health...because I'm on disability and because I don't make that much money. I have no copays...maybe you should look into getting Medicare or state funded insurance. I hope that helps. Have a great night!
Welcome
